Page 49 of Playboy Husband
MAISIE
Iwoke up with a headache that felt like it had been stitched behind my eyes. It was the kind of ingrained pain that came from too little sleep and too much crying.
Today was supposed to be light, fun, and full of laughter, a girly day out with my mom and the Westwood women. Instead, my limbs were heavy and it felt like I was floating outside of my own skin, hollowed out in the worst possible way.
I rolled over in my bed to face the window, seeing rain coming down in sheets.
Overhead, the sky was so gray and thick that I was convinced it wasn’t going to clear up anytime soon.
Autumn in Scotland was no joke, it seemed.
After yesterday’s mistiness and drizzle, today was a torrential downpour with the trees bending in the wind.
Every part of my body was sore. Even my insides ached.
All I wanted to do was pull the covers over my head and stay in bed, the weather mirroring exactly how I felt, but I knew I couldn’t do it.
Since the wedding was tomorrow, CC had plans for us to go to a spa nearby and on a nature walk before, but I was pretty sure that part of the plan was going to be nixed.
Even so, the spa would still be on, which meant I needed to get dressed and force myself to pretend that the wedding was still happening. The word alone made my stomach pitch. Everything was up in the air and I had no idea where things would fall.
Finally managing to drag myself out of bed, I shoved a sweater over my head and put on a pair of jeans. Then I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and went to meet the others. By the time I left my room, the castle was already a hive of activity.
Staff moved like ants, carrying trays of flowers, linens, and preparing rooms for the guests who would be arriving tonight. Laney and Sadie were waiting at the bottom of the sweeping staircase, both of them resting against the banister with their hands on their growing bumps.
“We should probably scrap the walk,” Laney said as she smiled up at me. “Unless you fancy being hospitalized for pneumonia as your honeymoon?”
“No, thank you.” The idea of trudging through rain and mud while pretending my world hadn’t cracked apart last night was more than I could fathom.
I was grateful not to have to do it, but the only smile I could manage was thin at best, pained at worst. “Do you think we should grab some breakfast before we head to the spa?”
“We’re eating there,” CC announced in a sing-song voice from the top of the staircase. She came sweeping down in a cloud of expensive perfume and excitement, a bright pink coat already fastened around her. “Come on, ladies. What are we waiting for?”
“I should say goodbye to Brody,” I murmured, unable to muster up enough energy to speak any louder.
CC mistook it for nerves and gave me a reassuring smile as she squeezed my arm. “The only thing you have to do today is relax. The men have got him. Callum and your brothers were taking him to the games room last I saw him. He’ll be fine. Now let’s make our escape while we still can.”
My mom chuckled as she came out of the dining room on the far side of the entrance hall, already dressed with her makeup on point. She smiled at CC, but her eyes were full of worry when they met mine.
I gave my head what I hoped was an imperceptible shake. We couldn’t talk now. She turned her attention back to CC, but I could see that she was concerned.
“Alright, then,” she said, clapping her hands once before turning toward the door. “If the rain doesn’t do it, all these boys stuck inside one house together all day sure will start breaking windows soon. We really should leave before that happens.”
CC immediately started forward, pulling an umbrella out of a stand in the foyer. “That’s so true. One of the reasons why I always wanted at least one little girl. You’re lucky to have had that.”
“Absolutely,” Mom agreed, falling into step beside her. The two women started commiserating about raising boys, a conversation that continued all the way to the spa.
Meanwhile, I stared out the window of the limousine at the sodden world around us with my chest feeling tight, my limbs strangely numb. Laney and Sadie kept glancing at me, but neither of them pried.
Sadie simply reached out to squeeze my hand at one point, obviously suspecting what had happened.
I rested my head against her shoulder where she sat beside me, but only for a beat.
I didn’t really deserve the comfort anyway and I desperately didn’t want anyone to notice my distress and ask about it.
The spa CC had booked for us was, of course, absolutely perfect. Candles flickered everywhere and eucalyptus-scented mist curled in the air. We were handed plush robes and served food that was probably delicious, but I pushed it around my plate without even registering what it was.
It should’ve been bliss. Outside, the sky was still completely gray, rain now driving sideways into the floor-to-ceiling windows that surrounded us, but that simply added to the experience.
I wished I could’ve enjoyed it, but even as I lowered myself into the hot pool and let my body float, my mind was still stuck on last night.
Callum’s spiraling right before my eyes when he found out I’d known all along. The hurt in those magnificent, devastating blue eyes. The pain in his voice. The way he hadn’t followed me.
“Are you alright?” Laney asked, appearing right next to me in the water. I hadn’t even seen her climb in. “You’re really pale and it looks like you didn’t sleep a wink.”
Her gaze was steady and partially analyzing for sure, but mostly, what I saw in those depths was gentle care. When I didn’t respond, she lowered herself until her chin was only just above the surface, her legs treading water as she looked at me.
“You know, Sterling and I went through it a while back. Just after we got married.” A faraway look crept into her eyes.
“Of course, we didn’t know each other for long enough before we got married to have gone through it then.
Either way, there are few people in the world who know what it’s like to say yes to a man who’s not proposing so much as offering you a contract. ”
“Yeah.” I tried for a smile but failed. “I’m just tired, though. You’re right. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Her eyebrows arched just slightly. “Just tired, or tired because you’re gutted? Because I’ve looked the way you do right now, and it was because I was tired, but I was tired after not sleeping because I was gutted.”
My breathing hitched, but Laney simply watched me for another minute, waiting but not pushing me to say anything. I wanted to tell her, to unload every twisted fear sitting like a stone in my chest, but I couldn’t force the words out.
“I’m fine,” I finally lied.
Laney’s lips curved, but not in amusement. It was more like she saw straight through me. Thankfully, it looked like she was willing to let it go for now. “If you say so.”
CC and my mom were sunk deep in their loungers, still laughing about the woes of raising boys. They told stories about muddy shoes and how none of them seemed capable of putting laundry in a basket. Their voices were easy and bright.
As Laney drifted closer to Sadie and exchanged a look with her, I wanted to sink into that lightness but I couldn’t.
Sadie motioned me over and wound up dragging me to the steam room, but even there, outside of earshot of the moms, I just sat on the tiled bench and stared at the floor as if it might hand me the answers.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Sadie asked quietly. “If you’re not ready right now, that’s okay, but we’re here if you do need to.”
Every word I wanted to say jammed at the back of my throat. My chest burned with the desire to lay it all out there, but try as I might, I could barely speak. By the time we left the spa, my eyes felt swollen even though I hadn’t cried again.
Back at the castle, I nearly stumbled when we walked in to find that the place had been transformed in a matter of hours. Staff members moved around us at lightning speed, hauling candlesticks, arranging tables, and polishing silver. The great hall was already halfway to a fairy tale.
My mom and CC were in their element, their hands flying as they debated napkin colors between those that had been delivered, laughing over their champagne flutes after one was pressed into each of their hands.
For a second, I envied them their ease and certainty that tomorrow would be a celebration instead of a disaster waiting to happen. When they called me over to get my opinion, I gave them full control. “It’s all beautiful. You should decide. I trust you.”
Once they were occupied again, I slipped away, disappearing to my bedroom. It felt way too big as I stared at the gown bag hanging over the wardrobe. The pale rose fabric was tucked neatly inside, waiting for a day that suddenly felt impossible.
I curled up on the edge of the bed, my phone clutched in my hand. Part of me had been waiting for a message from Callum all day, telling me that it was over. That he couldn’t forgive me and couldn’t marry me.
Another part of me knew I should be the one to call it off, but I didn’t move to actually do it. I just lay there, the storm inside louder than the one rattling the windows. I missed him. It hadn’t even been a day, but I missed him so much that it hurt.
I missed his touch. The way he smiled at me sometimes like I was his whole damn world.
The weight of his hand in mine. The ache in my chest was too much, too sharp, and too real.
Eventually, I unlocked my phone and pulled up flights back to Michigan, back to San Francisco.
It didn’t really matter, as long as I could go anywhere but here.
The prices made me wince, but if I walked away now, I could still do it with my head held high.
Before the guilt consumed me and the Westwoods could threaten to sue.
My finger hovered over the confirm button, but then laughter drifted through the stone corridor outside. I got up, following the sound.
Brody was sitting on the floor with Harrison right there on the landing, toy soldiers scattered between them like they were waging a war. Harrison’s deep laughter vibrated through the air while Brody grinned wide, his whole body alive with joy.
I leaned against the doorframe, unnoticed for now, and my chest tightened. This had never been about me. Not really. It was about him. It always had been.
It was about my son, a boy who deserved every ounce of this family, of their love, and even of this vacation in their huge estate. He deserved it more than I deserved to hide.
The fight drained away when that realization hit and I turned before either of them could see me.
I shut my bedroom door softly behind me, pressing my back against the wood.
For a long moment, I just stood there, staring at nothing, but then I slid down to the floor, pulled my knees to my chest, and let the tears come.
Everything I’d been holding in all day unraveled on the cold stone floor, with no one to see but the ghosts who inevitably lived between the walls of King Sterling’s absurd castle.