Page 26

26

NICKY

P hone clutched in my palm, I’m stomping back and forth in front of the massive floor-length windows of the guesthouse.

“And then he was like, ‘You can build me from scratch’, ‘You can give me instructions’, ‘You can tell me how to be your boyfriend’, ‘We’ll be like study buddies’ and blah-blah-blah.”

My slippers slap loudly at the wooden floors as I pace. My over-sized T-shirt swallows me up and my hair is a horrendous bird’s nest cinched together by the ponytail holder at the top of my head.

On my screen, I see Emma open her mouth to get a word in. But I’m not done ranting.

“Like, is he insane? Is he a crazy man?! This is not build-a-boyfriend. I’m not Nicky-the-boyfriend-builder. I’m not…not…I’m not…” Winded, I drop to the couch like a rock. “He’s the crazy one. Right? Not me? ” I ask my best friend.

Emma’s got a little smile dancing on the edge of her smug mouth. It’s driving me nuts. “He’s totally crazy, hun,” she says supportively. “The nerve of him to offer you an unlimited supply of orgasms and the opportunity to play with him like a toy. The nerve!”

“You’re mocking me…” I pout at my phone.

She releases a breath. “Okay. Fine. His offer is a little…unconventional. I’ll give you that. But it might just work for you.”

“What?! I can’t believe you’re saying this.” I feel betrayed. She’s supposed to be on my side.

“Nicky—you’ve got the tough girl act down pat. You have a sassy mouth and you go around running it all over town. But I’ll be honest, you could use some work being vulnerable, exploring the softer sides of your personality, being more emotional. Look at it as learning to be safe with your emotions. That’s essential to being in a successful romantic relationship, being able to speak up with your partner without fear of rejection. It’s about communication.”

“I feel perfectly safe with my emotions,” I say disagreeably.

“If you’re so perfectly safe with your emotions, why don’t you tell me how you really feel about Ronan’s offer?” my bestie challenges me. “Be honest, Nicky.”

“I feel…I feel…I feel like his offer is bullshit. Absolute bullshit.”

“Do you really? I’m just going to come right out and say this, as your best friend for half of your life. To me, it looks like you’re interested, but you don’t want to admit it to yourself.”

“What?!” I scoff, completely offended. “You’ve got this all wrong!”

“Okay, do you find him attractive?”

My first instinct is to lie, to flat out deny it. But the look on Emma’s face tells me she already knows the truth. “I…yes…fine. He’s attractive,” I confess.

“And how about the orgasm he gave you?” she prods further.

“It was good…” Emma keeps pinning me with that knowing look. “It was better than…” I try again. Then my shoulders collapse in defeat.“It-was-the-single-best-orgasm-of-my-entire-life.” I pick at my nail polish. “Okay? Are you happy now?”

Emma just giggles.

“Orgasm-giving powers are irrelevant,” I insist. “This job is important to me. And getting orgasms from Ronan isn’t part of my job description. I want to keep things professional. And Cash would blow a gasket if he found out I was messing around with the star player of his hockey team. He invested a lot of money into that franchise.”

“Totally. I get all that,” she says, “But be real—you and Ronan are alone together around the clock. If you really want to do this practice relationship thing, you can find a way to squeeze it in without getting caught. You two can teach each other new things, learn new things together,” she reasons. “And then when the hockey season is over, you’ll be confident to go after what you want in relationships. We both know that the dating pool is a swamp. If you want to be safe out there, you’re going to need to know how to navigate the murky waters in your little canoe with your little paddle. This opportunity with Ronan might be good practice.”

I guess that is true.

“Look Nicks, I love you so much. And I want to see you truly happy and to do that, you’re going to have to learn to take risks where it matters. Because as a woman who had to take risks to get with the love of my life, I’m telling you that the payoff could be so rewarding.”

I sigh, ruminating over her words. “I guess…I guess I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Think about it.” She smiles kindly. “And speaking of risks, are you still looking at real estate? Nadia found this amazing property listing on Elm Street.”

“Yeah. She sent it to me.” I grin thinking about the tiny house tucked away from the main road. “I know it’s a fixer-upper, but I still think it’s cute.” It had a big front porch that was calling my name. “It might be fun to put my own touch on it.”

“Yeah, I agree. But when would you have any free time for that?”

I press my lips together. “Good question. Anyway, I definitely want to look into it some more.”

Right then, I hear my niece crying in the background. “Ooh! Sparkle’s up from her nap. I’ve gotta go,” Emma says in a rush.

“Okay. Give her kisses for me.” Then I narrow my eyes. “And you better not include this conversation in any of your future books,” I threaten.

Emma grins. “Names will be changed to protect the innocent. That’s the most I can promise you.”

“Ugh! Fair enough. I need a new best friend.”

She shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe Ronan.”

I roll my eyes. “Bye, bitch.”

“Bye. Love you.” She hangs up, laughing.

When Emma is gone, I’m left with my thoughts. I make another attempt to convince myself that I want no part of Ronan’s offer. But the glaring truth is that…I’m curious…and I’m tempted…and I’m horny as hell.

Every time I close my eyes, I feel the caress of his tongue moving against me. And I want to do it again. Hell, I want to return the favor. I have a treasure trove of new blowjob tricks that are collecting dust in the back of my mind. Those blowjob tricks I was describing in the text messages Ronan read. I know those tricks would rock his socks off.

But of course I won’t act on any of that. I’d never.

I shake myself out of my crazy, crazy thoughts. I’m trying to build a future here. I’m not willing to throw my whole life into turmoil just for the sake of a few orgasms.

And what the hell does a ‘practice relationship’ entail anyway? Sheesh. Some guys are so creative in their efforts to get into your pants. It’s mind-blowing.

Anyway, Ronan’s offer is not an option. I’m putting it out of my head.

Now that I’m off the phone with Emma, I have the entire rest of the evening to fill. But my bum is too lazy to get off this couch. I throw my feet up on the coffee table and scroll aimlessly on social media, brazenly minding the business of everybody on the internet and comparing my life to theirs. Definitely not the healthiest way to pass the time. But at least it helps keep my mind off Ronan and his washboard abs and his magic tongue.

About an hour later, my brain is in a blissfully numb social media-induced coma when there’s a knock at the door. I crane my neck and catch sight of Ronan’s sister standing on the front porch with her friends.

Leaving my phone on the coffee table, I hop up from the couch, silently cursing my messy hairdo as I go.

When I swing open the door, Karli gives me a once-over and quirks a brow.

Daphne grins and offers a little wave.“Hey! Beer festival in town tonight. Wanna come?”

“You can’t say no,” Layla hedges. “I’m paying a babysitter tonight and everything. We have to make the most of it.”

“Um, I…I’m not really in a beer festival kind of mood,” I mutter, running a palm over my tangled hair.

Karli blatantly rolls her eyes. I mean, a full three hundred and sixty degrees. “Girl—go throw on a cute outfit. We’re going out tonight.”