Page 25 of Places We've Never Been

“I shouldn’t have told that story.”

“Whatever, Skyler. I get it, we’re not friends anymore. You can stop trying to prove that point. Message received.”

“No, that’s not…Well, I mean, we’re really not, are we?”

I crossed my arms. “No, we’re not.”

“I wasn’t thinking with the story. I thought enough time had passed that you would think it was funny.”

“It wasn’t about the story.” It really wasn’t. It was what him telling that story meant—that he didn’t care enough to keep my secrets anymore.

“What is it, then? Why did it bother you?”

“What makes you think it bothered me?”

“I could tell.”

“I just…I was…This was supposed to…” I gripped my sketch pad tighter. “No, nothing. It doesn’t matter. We were friends in the past and we aren’t anymore. Let’s just mind our own business and have a fun vacation. Sound good?”

His eyes went back and forth between mine as if he thought I was setting up some sort of trap for him. Finally, he said, “Okay.”

“Cool.”

I stepped inside the RV, tucked my art supplies in the cubby beneath the beds, then washed my face and brushed my teeth.I changed into my pajamas and climbed up into the top bunk, pulling the privacy curtain closed, dampening the light. Then I turned toward the wall, hugged a pillow to my chest, and cried. As the tears streamed across my nose and onto my pillowcase, I became even more angry—I hated crying.

I cried for a friendship I once had that was now gone. I cried for the stupid expectations I’d had that this trip would somehow bring back that magical time and make it all real again. I cried that I was the only one who had really wanted that and that maybe this meant my memories were rose-colored, wrong. Maybe things hadn’t been as magical and character-shaping as I thought they’d been. Maybe I really wasn’t my truest self around Skyler. I cried until I fell asleep. And when I woke up in the morning, I was done crying. I was going to do exactly what I said I was going to do: mind my own business and have a fun vacation. Focus on my art and my coding and my school interview, which was now less than two weeks away. Focus on my future.