Page 229 of Pixie Problems

"What are you doing here?" he snapped.

"I'm sorry!" I said before he could turn around. "You're right, I was wrong, and Aspen's the thing we can both agree on. I'm so sorry that I'm a shitty Morrigan, but I am trying, Torian. I just want to help her, and I don't know how, but no one can say anything! I'm working blind here, and I'm still just a shitty-ass human, but Iamtrying to do it right! Will you help me?"

He grabbed the back of the chair before him and let his bag fall to the floor. "My friends are pissed at me because of you."

"And that makes me a shitty person," I said.

His head twitched hard. "That's not a lie?"

"I feel like a pretty fucking shitty person, ok?" I gestured to the chair. "I was hoping that maybe we could talk about it? I mean, Aspen's birthday is tomorrow, and it's her eighteenth, right?"

"Yeah?" He sounded suspicious.

"Torian, has anyone ever thrown a birthday party for you?"

He grunted. "Of course not."

"So maybe Aspen would like one? Can we call a truce and give her something good to remember? No fighting for one whole day? And, I dunno, maybe figure out what I did to piss you off and work on it after that? Or before that? Or..." I lifted both hands to rub at my eyes. "Fuck, I dunno. I just want to fix it, and I'm tired of fucking shit up, ok?"

Slowly, he pulled out the chair and lowered himself into it. "I'm just trying to keep her safe."

"And I'm trying to protect her," I pointed out. "I just think that while you're worried about one type of pain, I'm worried about another."

He glanced at my bird - who was suspiciously still and quiet - then back to me. "Once she's eighteen, she'll be an adult here."

"Yeah, that's why it's such a big deal."

He nodded. "She's three days older than me."

I grimaced. "I was going to see about maybe throwing you a birthday party too."

With a growl, he slapped his hand down on the table. "This isn't about that petty bullshit."

But I refused to let him entice me into yelling back. Keeping my voice as calm as possible, I looked up and met his eyes.

"Torian, it is to her."

His body rocked like I'd just thrown cold water into his face. "What?"

"I've lived with her for months now. I can't count how many times we've daydreamed with each other before falling asleep, and she has so many things she wants. She talks about her options for the future. How she wants to grow plants - always plants. She said she's never been in love before, and lately, she's been sohappy."

"Then the Hunt came," he grumbled.

I nodded in agreement, even though that wasn't where I'd been going. "Yeah, they did. And I guess I fucked that up, but Iamtrying. I just wasn't meant to have magic, you know?"

"Rain..." Jack mumbled.

I flicked a warning look at him. He quickly tucked his beak under a wing like he was going to sleep, but one eye was open and on me.

Torian saw the entire exchange and chuckled. "You know how they say I'm a monster?" he asked.

"You're fae," I countered.

He shrugged. "Two things can be true at once, Rain. That's how the fae lie." He chuckled at that. "And I am a monster. I have to be one. My sister is so fucking nice, and they are still hunting her. Harper..." He growled, proving he was still pissed about that. "And she's not the worst thing out there. That's the part you don't get. And you're worried about some cake and ice cream?"

"I'm worried about her mental health," I said. "I'm worried about her only having one person in her life who will never leave her. I know what it feels like to realize you suddenly have a family, ok? I got Liam and Bracken. Aspen? She has you, but you're not all. Both of you have us. Me, Wilder, Hawke, and Keir. Maybe we fight, and no, we won't always agree, but that doesn't mean we have to pull each other apart. It's ok to disagree, and I've been trying so hard to ignore the things you can't say. I try to tell myself it's nothing personal, but how would you feel, Torian? If I kept saying it was a secret, but I don't trust you enough to share it, how long would you put up with that shit?"

"I wouldn't," he mumbled, sounding almost like he hoped I wouldn't hear.