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36 | Time After Time ETHAN

She’s going to freak out. Obviously.

She’s already freaking out. Otherwise she wouldn’t be Sasha.

I needed more time. We needed more time. To adjust, figure shit out, lock it down.

Especially after she connected the dots about me and Kaitlin. Honestly, how the hell did she not know?

As I shave before dinner, I think about what I said earlier—and what I didn’t. I told Sasha it had been awhile since I liked someone like this. What I didn’t say: I can’t remember ever feeling this way about anyone, especially this quickly.

Never mind how I can’t keep my hands off her. I would have fucking loved to climb back into bed with her instead of kissing her goodbye.

Maybe that’s why the fact that Sasha has completely blocked out meeting me still stings. Maybe it’s more than just a blow to my ego.

Giving myself a no-bullshit once-over in the mirror now, I know that’s the whole truth.

But I’m not going to let some hurt feelings get in the way.

With Kaitlin, things worked on paper. We looked right. We worked right—for a while. We were a decent team. She liked lists as much as I do.

At first, when I had just arrived in New York, she seemed classy and confident, a native city kid who knew the ropes. We had fun in the beginning. But we were never right.

What she wanted had more to do with what things looked like than how they actually were. And when it turned out I didn’t really give a shit about Page Six mentions and South Beach white parties, she took it personally. Like I had gone back on a promise.

From then on, the marriage was like going through the motions. And the more she griped at me, the more I retreated.

I would have stayed though. For Ruby. And, honestly, because it never occurred to me that I could leave.

In some ways, I should be grateful to Kaitlin for cheating. Because, otherwise, we would have gone on like that—in a joyless relationship—for God knows how long. Maybe forever.

Even then, I was hurt by her betrayal but more relieved. I didn’t realize how trapped I’d felt until the gates opened.

She could have picked less of a dirtbag though. For someone with high-status standards, she really dumpster dived. Whatever he had been like in high school, the guy had turned into a bottom-feeder. Way beneath her. I can even say that now. After everything.

Made me wonder about how she sees herself.

I throw on my T-shirt and slacks. Take a deep breath before I leave my room. Put on my game face. But no one is in the living area when I leave, and I can hear water still running in Sasha’s room. Long shower.

Is she wasting water again?

What the hell is wrong with me?

I have tonight. To talk to her. To stem her panic. To hatch some kind of plan with her before she leaves for the airport in the morning and, faced with reality, doubles down on her doubts.

Here we go.

TO-DO

Keep it chill at dinner.

Get Sasha alone and convince her this is viable.

Test out my bed this time.