Page 29 of Pick Six

“Oh, I think you could handle it. You’d just have to apply yourself.” He turns around and smirks at me.

“I guess I at least have to figure out how to fake it, huh?”

His smirk widens. “Seems that way. Now go eat your quesadilla while it’s hot. I’ll be right there.”

A short whilelater we’ve finished dinner and there’s a break in the movie. He sneaks off for a second and then returns, tossing a bag of candy in my lap.

“Not a real movie date until the candy.” He sits down on the couch next to me.

The proximity between us has me feeling all kinds of odd. Because while I keep trying to remember who he is to me, I also can’t help the fact that he makes me feel like a teenage girl with a crush again.

“I mean I don’t think this is a real movie date. It’s like practice for faking it. Not that I need practice on that front,” I say it absently as I open the bag, forgetting for a moment who I’m talking to.

He makes a face, his lips crumpling before he puts another piece of candy in his mouth.

I narrow my eyes at him. “What’s that face for?”

“Me trying not to say something that’s going to get me in trouble.”

I punch him lightly in the shoulder.

“Ow. See that’s what I was avoiding.”

“I’m seriously a bit worried though. The whole dating post-divorce thing is weird. You get so used to one person and assume that’s it. And now I’m just out here having to think about first dates, and first kisses and like… how do you prepare for that? I mean I guess you do it all the time. It doesn’t bother you. You’re never nervous when it’s a new person all the time?” This is probably a stupid question to be asking a man like Alexander, but I can’t help wondering.

FIFTEEN

Alex

I can help her prepare.

It almost slips out before I stop myself. It feels like she’s baiting me. Laying traps specifically made for me to fall into with this. I’m trying so hard not to push her. I wanted tonight to just be the two of us getting used to each other because if this is going to work, she’s going to have to not think the worst of me. Then she says things like this and fuck me, is it hard not to say anything.

She looks at me then, studying my face and shaking her head.

“Right. I don’t know why I’m asking you. Of course you don’t get nervous. You’re you. You never have to worry about being out of practice or anything. You’re used to having someone new all the time so that’s probably just normal to you, right? What’s it like anyway? Always being alone and not settling down? Do you ever get lonely, or are you really happy like this? Just get to do what you want all the time?”

Well, fuck. Now she’s hitting me with the hard stuff.

“I’m thinking I might be done with it.”

“Done with what?”

“Being alone. Not settling down.”

“I’m sorry.” Her eyes go soft when she looks at me. “I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

“No, you’re right. It’s fair. There have been a lot of different people in and out of my life. And yeah, it’s not great sometimes, and the older I get the less appealing it is honestly. I’m not lonely exactly, but it’s empty sometimes. Seeing some of the guys like Ben and Waylon… makes me wish I had that.”

“Yeah, well I think we all wish we had the kind of relationships they have. For the record most relationships… they’re not all that great either. It’s not necessarily greener on the other side. Not all marriages are created equal after all.” She sighs.

“I’m really sorry he fucked you over like that. You didn’t deserve it, and he didn’t deserve you.”

Her eyes flick up to mine for a second and then hit the floor again. “Thanks.”

“Maybe we can help each other while we do this whole fake dating thing,” I offer.

“What do you mean?”