Page 4 of Petty AF (At First #1)

four

~ Deaton ~

W hile I had been thinking about kissing River all night—as well as all the reasons I shouldn’t—I hadn’t planned it. Sure, I could have gotten the same results by placing a hand over his mouth, but at that point, I had been acting on pure instinct.

My gods, what an absolute clusterfuck.

To be fair, a part of me wanted to let him keep going. Under different circumstances, his colorful and creative comebacks would have been funny as hell. It had also been damn satisfying to see Joss Weller taken down a peg or two.

The warlock had spent years hiding behind his regent title. He intimidated and manipulated, or in River’s case, weaponized magic to get what he wanted.

Sometimes, he did it just to be an asshole.

I knew plenty of people who felt the same way about him as River did, but no one dared to call him out to his face for fear of reprisal.

Unfortunately, my date had learned the hard way what the rest of us already knew.

And all because he had refused to be treated like a second-class citizen at a party he had been invited to.

The hex itself wouldn’t hurt him physically, but it did have the potential for some nasty consequences if River mouthed off to the wrong person. We all had unkind thoughts from time to time, especially when provoked. We just had the good sense and common decency not to say them out loud.

River, for the foreseeable future, no longer had that safeguard.

Worse, the enchantment didn’t really seem to accomplish anything. It had been cast purely out of spite and pettiness.

Sadly, I didn’t know how to help him. I couldn’t force Joss to reverse the spell, and while decking him in the face might make me feel better, it wouldn’t change what had happened.

Staying wouldn’t accomplish anything either. River couldn’t talk his way out of this, and as devastating as the curse had to be for him, it could have been worse. I had seen firsthand the kind of power the warlock wielded, and by his standards, this had been lenient .

That worried me because mercy only lasted for so long.

Then River had flipped the switch from unfiltered snark to true anger, and I had sensed the change, the subtle but undeniable shift in the atmosphere.

I hadn’t paused to think or consider my options. I had simply reacted.

With my arm still locked around his waist, I’d turned him toward me and palmed the back of his neck as I’d covered his mouth with my own. It had been a means to an end, a tool to both silence and distract. In that moment, I had only wanted to prevent him from damning himself further.

I hadn’t been prepared for what came next.

Our lips met, rough and demanding, cutting off his diatribe while also opening another line of communication. One that couldn’t be expressed with words or even actions. The kind that went deeper and defied logic, an instinctual give and take that happened without deliberate thought.

There was no realization, no slow dawning of understanding. The moment I kissed him, I just knew .

My heart stuttered, then hammered against my ribs. Every muscle tensed, and the hair on my arms stood on end as currents raced across my skin.

I felt the slight twinge as my eyes shifted, bringing the room into sharper focus with brighter, more vibrant colors. That sweet scent with just a touch of tartness grew stronger, drowning out everything else.

The din faded, the thrum of music and conversation becoming muted. Yet I could hear the frantic beating of River’s pulse, the soft whoosh of every inhale. My entire world narrowed, focused, erasing everything else until only River remained.

Mine.

The word whispered in the back of my mind on a constant loop, growing louder and more insistent with every repetition. I welcomed it, embraced it, and with that acceptance came a kind of freedom that rendered everything else unimportant.

I couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment when my instincts had shifted from protective to possessive, but I could no longer feign ignorance. He belonged to me, just as I belonged to him.

At the same time, I could feel the weight of the room pressing in, the muted chaos surging at the edges of my awareness. My senses swelled and receded in waves, making it hard to focus, but I forced myself to pull away.

As I took deep, steadying breaths, trying to regain some semblance of control, I caught the flicker of longing in River’s gaze. It was fleeting, gone as quickly as it had appeared, but it gave me a measure of hope.

“I—” he started, but his voice cracked, and he looked away, his shoulders tense and rounded.

“Don’t say anything,” I warned, but I didn’t let him retreat.

Instead, I softened my grip on his waist and neck in silent reassurance. Yes, I understood, and yes, we needed to talk about what had just happened. Given our current predicament, however, this was neither the time nor the place for that discussion.

River caught his bottom lip between his teeth and dipped his head.

“We need to leave.” My gaze briefly slid to Joss. “Now.”

Again, River nodded, and he seemed to be making a huge effort to keep his focus solely on me. He turned, deliberately angling away from the warlock, and though he didn’t meet my gaze, he kept his eyes trained somewhere near my collarbones.

As I led him through the crowd and out of the ballroom, he kept his head down, his long hair falling around his face to create an additional barrier between him and everyone else. Hushed murmurs and curious glances followed us through the room, but thankfully, no one tried to stop us.

“Ugh!” River shouted when we reached the lobby, the guttural sound bursting from him like an explosion. “I hate him.” Jerking away from me, he punched and kicked at the air, releasing his pent-up frustration. “I want to mash his stupid smug face!”

For all his bravado, however, I could see the cracks in his armor, the tension in the lines of his face that made his mask of indignation imperfect. Fear bubbled just beneath the surface, hidden behind righteous anger, but he wouldn’t be able to suppress it forever.

More than a punishment for a perceived slight, the curse was an attack on his sense of self, a calculated way to strip him of agency. Not to silence him, but to turn his own voice against him, making it a liability.

Watching him wrestle with that realization gutted me.

Outside on the sidewalk, I caught him by the elbow and turned him to face me. “River, I’m sorry.”

“Why?” He tilted his head, his eyebrows drawn together to form a crease across his brow. “You didn’t do this.”

“No, but I should have…” I trailed off, unsure of exactly what I should have done.

Seen it coming? Prevented it? Never allowed him within twenty yards of Joss Weller in the first place?

While those things sounded good in theory, it seemed vaguely conceited to think I had that kind of control over other people. Additionally, anything I might have done afterwards in an attempt to rectify the situation would have only made things worse for him.

River shook his head. “This isn’t your fault.” Pulling his wrist free of my grip, he took my hand instead and squeezed it. “If anything, I should be apologizing to you. I’m sorry I dragged you into this.” He sighed and carded his fingers through his hair. “I should have kept my stupid mouth shut.”

We could go back and forth all night, divvying up the blame, but it wouldn’t solve anything. In reality, neither of us had done anything wrong. That didn’t make it feel any less shitty, though.

“It’s probably fine,” he added with a forced smile. “I’m sure it’s temporary. I mean, I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and be back to normal.”

I didn’t believe that for a second, and deep down, he likely didn’t either, but I’d let him hold on to that hope for now. Especially when we had other matters to discuss—like that kiss—and in this case, his lack of filter might actually be beneficial.

“So, we should probably talk.”

“Agreed, but just so you know, I’m very okay with being mated to you.” His face flamed, and he closed his eyes with a quiet groan. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to just blurt that out.”

Okay, fair, and I had sympathy for his embarrassment, but while he hadn’t intended to say it, I had needed to hear it. Though not na?ve enough to believe that a fate bond meant the same thing to him as it did to me, knowing he didn’t hate the idea eased some of my worry.

In my experience, humans tended to have weird hangups about things like fate and destiny.

Rather than a gift, they decried it as an intrusion, an attack on their free will, whereas shadelings took a more balanced approach.

To us, a fate bond felt as instinctual as breathing, but we also understood that it took more than a spark to light a fire.

The fact that he had felt it and recognized it for what it was, however, surprised me. “You know?”

“Not at first, but I felt drawn to you ever since I first saw your picture on the MNSTR app. I was super nervous about meeting you, and I’ve wanted to climb you like a tree all night.”

His face turned so red that I legitimately worried that he might pass out right there on the sidewalk. He didn’t stop there, though.

“The kiss kind of sealed the deal because it’s not rational for me to want to claw someone’s face off for looking at you.

” He took a deep breath that expanded his chest and let it out in a rush.

“I would also really like to stop talking now and find somewhere to curl up and die, but that doesn’t seem to be possible. ”

I had never heard someone speak with such raw truth, and while I hated the reason behind it, it would be a lie to say I didn’t enjoy hearing it. Still, no one should be forced to make those kinds of confessions. Just because he felt it didn’t mean he’d been ready to voice those emotions.

I made a silent promise to be more careful and precise with my questions in the future. At least until we could figure out how to uncurse him. Right then, however, I could at least offer him the same honesty in return.

“Just so you know,” I said, echoing his words back to him with a smirk. “I am very okay with being mated to you as well.”

I could have left it at that. River likely wouldn’t have protested, but it also wouldn’t be fair. Realizing that didn’t make it any easier. I still struggled against my natural predisposition to shield myself from vulnerability, driving home how difficult this must be for him.

Taking a calming breath, I squeezed his hand and pulled him closer, letting his nearness and his scent ground me.

“I’m sorry for how our first kiss came about, but I’m not sorry that it happened.

I’ve been thinking about kissing you all night, and I’ve felt possessive of you from the moment you walked into the cafe. ”

His eyes darted to mine, his expression softening as he swayed toward me. “Really? You’re not just saying that? You’re really okay with being mated to me?”

“Yes,” I answered without hesitation because I’d never been more certain of anything.

His openness demanded my own, and in this moment, I wanted him to know exactly where I stood.

“I don’t believe fate forces us into something we don’t want.

It just gives us a little nudge in the right direction.

” I grinned, closing the last bit of distance between us.

“Right now, I like where it’s pointing.”

“Me, too,” he murmured, his shoulders sagging with obvious relief. “So…what now?”

The idea of being parted from him made me unreasonably angry, but thankfully, I no longer had to come up with clever excuses to keep him with me. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving!” He groaned dramatically. “Don’t rich people eat?”

Laughing, I threaded our fingers together and headed down the sidewalk, away from the hotel. River fell into step beside me, and we walked in silence for a few minutes, the noise of the city a steady hum in the background.

The glow of streetlights and neon signs painted his features in colorful hues as we navigated the streets, and I caught myself stealing glances at him. It still seemed impossible that this amazing person belonged to me, and even more unbelievable that he seemed to be okay with it.

“I’m guessing you’re not in the mood for anything that requires a translation guide to order,” I teased as I scanned the storefronts for a suitable option.

“Definitely not,” he answered, his laughter warm and genuine. “I want comfort food. The greasier, the better.”

“How about there?” I asked, pointing out an unassuming diner with a sign that promised the best burgers in town.

River’s eyes shined with approval as he bobbed his head. “Perfect.” Then he glanced up at me, his expression filled with earnestness and the barest hint of uncertainty. “I like this.”

I raised an eyebrow in question.

“Us,” he clarified, his voice nearly inaudible over the thrum of traffic. “It feels…easy. Natural, I guess.”

My chest swelled, even as my shoulders relaxed, his words sinking deep into the space I hadn’t realized I’d reserved for doubts. “I know exactly what you mean,” I admitted. “It feels right.”

The way we had met didn’t fit into a tidy little box. It had been messy, chaotic, and maybe even a little ridiculous.

And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.