Page 82 of Petals of Blue: Part Two

Epilogue

BLUE

Every time I think I have a handle on this parenting thing, I realize how much that will never be true. After twelve years of raising Violet, I'm still questioning everything.

It also doesn't help that I have a fuckingarmyof protective men who are rubbing off on me. When Roman and Felix were discussing the possibility of Violet running out of water on her hike, I panicked and bought one of those metal spouts so she can drink from a fucking tree if she needs to.

Just last night, Kevin popped his head into my office to ask if Violet had an emergency pack of matches for her backpack. Levi, not two hours later, dropped some off at my home, which unfortunately set my four men off on another research frenzy to make sure that they didn't forget anything else.

It's no wonder Violet wants to get away for a while.

After almost a year of individual therapy, I'vegained plenty of coping skills, but saying goodbye to my kid for a while requires more than I've learned.

The handful of family sessions Violet and I have had this year have provided some perspective for both of us. We've worked through some of her feelings about my childhood and the sacrifices I've made for her.

It fucking sucked. We cried.A lot. I hate that she still carries guilt for things she had no control over. Hell, she didn't evenknow. No matter the amount of growth Violet has been through, she's still struggling. Thus, a solo road trip for my bubbly girl.

"I'll be okay, Mom."

I squeeze her tighter, ignoring her huff of air. "You'll call every night. If I don't answer?—"

"I'll call the guys. And if they don't answer, I call Grandma and Grandpa."

Clara sniffles off to the side. She and Derrick have become the grandparents V has always wanted. Clara just shoved a huge Tupperware of cookies into Violet's backseat beside Roman's banana bread.

"I love you," I whisper, breathing in her vanilla scent one last time. "Please,please,be safe."

She hugs me harder for just a moment as she replies, "I love you too."

When she pulls away, I feel like she rips half my soul out of my body. Violet hugs my men again. Roman reminds her to eat, and Felix reiterates how dangerous the edge of cliffs are. Declan and Jared say something that makes her laugh and cry at the same time.

They love my daughter, and she loves them. It's more than I could ask for, and hearing them tell her totext them when she's safe at her first stop breaks me again.

"One more," I beg with a cry, yanking Violet back into my arms.

She laughs into my shoulder. Her breath is wobbly once again as she pulls away with a sniff. "I'll be home soon," she promises.

None of us like the fact that she hasn't decided how long she'll be gone for, but we're trying to be supportive. Supportive and overprotective.

Violet waves to everyone. And I mean everyone. We're all here. My three girl friends, Kevin and Levi, Jared's parents and sister, and a group of her friends surround her car.

So many people love my girl.

As she closes her car door and begins buckling herself in, arms wrap around my waist, startling me for a second until heat comforts me from all around.

So many people love me, too.

"Think she'll be okay?" I whimper, watching my soulmate drive away.

Felix nuzzles the back of my neck. "She better be," he rumbles.

"V will be just fine," Declan soothes, running a hand down my arm.

Jared grabs my left hand and smiles down at me as I cry. "Violet will be okay because she has you for a mother."

I fear the tears won't end as her taillights disappear from downtown Chicago.

"Damn it," Roman grumbles, coughing and walking away. "I'm calling her."

I giggle. Violet has the world at her feet and the greatest support system at her back. What's in front of her, I don't know, but I'm already excited to hear her stories.

Be safe. Be happy. Beyou.

I'll be here. Loving you.

The trauma continues with Violet…