Page 17 of Penance

I lean in, my heart slamming against my rib cage so hard that I’m sure he can hear it. His breath is warm on my lips. I can feel his breath on my face.

I press my mouth to his.

Soft. Tentative. Scared.

It’s a spark, but I hope it’s enough.

Draco’s response is immediate, his arms unfolding, one hand falling to my waist, and another cupping the back of my neck, pulling me closer. His kiss is firm, demanding, powerful. His tongue traces the line of my lips, and I shiver.

I shouldn’t like this.

This is wrong.

Then why does it feel right? The voice in my head asks.

I don’t know the answer to that.

My lips fall open, parting for him, and his tongue presses inside, dipping into my mouth and swiping across my own.

It ignites a fire within me, a white-hot burning that spreads from my chest, down to the pit of my stomach, and lower. His hand slides down my side, tracing my hip, sliding over the curve of my backside before gripping my thigh, pulling it over his lap. He pulls me up until I’m straddling him.

Oh, Lord in Heaven, hollowed be thy name…

Before I can even finish the thought, he rolls me, and with a soft moan I end up on my back, and he’s above me. His kiss deepens, his hand moving from my thigh to my stomach. He pauses there, his hand spreading across the bottom, right above my pelvic bone.

Should I be scared?

I don’t know.

I don’t even know what I’m feeling, but there’s one thing I know for certain.

Draco would never hurt me.

Then, his hand moves up, cupping my breast, his thumb brushing against my nipple through the thin fabric of the black cotton t-shit he gave me.

I’m not wearing a bra underneath, and I can feel every single brush of his fingertips.

I arch into his touch, groaning into his mouth as he continues to feed at me.

Without warning, he pulls away, breaking our kiss, and I whine in protest. His mouth trails down the side of my jaw instead, and then lower, leaving a trail of fire down my throat, across my collarbones, and lower still.

I can feel his stubble, rough and tearing at my skin, but for some reason, I love it.

His fingers slip beneath my shirt and rip it up, and before I know it, he’s caught my nipple in his mouth, and his tongue swirls around it, and then something in my heart explodes.

A gasping moan slips from me and echoes around the dark room, and my legs tighten around him, pulling him down to me.

This is bad.

It’s so bad, but it feels so good.

I will do anything to make sure he doesn’t stop.

I’ll beg for forgiveness tomorrow, whatever I have to do, but I need him now. I need to be touched, and I need it to be my choice.

When I feel the pads of his fingers tease the edge of my panties, my brain short circuits, and all thoughts stop.

He looks up at me, his eyes meeting mine, and they’re enough to make me twitch right then and there. Then his teeth graze my nipple, one sharp jerk that crash lands me smack dab right back in the center of reality.

“Touch me,” I whisper, every muscle in my body shaking. “Please, Draco.”

He slips his hand inside, and it only takes him a second before he finds what he’s looking for, and his fingers plunge inside of me.

I gasp, and my back arches, as if he’s somehow connected to a current and I’m being electrified from the inside out.

Just as quickly, his fingers, wet with my need, pull back out and then up, finding the most sensitive spot. His fingers circle, spinning in tight, fast circles.

It feels so good.

I feel like every nerve ending is on fire.

I feel his free hand slide up and into the nape of my neck, into my hair where he grabs a handful and pulls, and something in my body pulses, hard.

A whimper escapes me, a sound of pure, desperate need.

What am I doing?

Why am I letting him do this?

Because you like it , the voice in my head whispers. Harlot.

Faster.

Tighter.

I roll my hips, pushing against him.

His fingers slip down again, pumping in and out of me, and then drawing back up and circling again and I feel like I’m flying.

I’m so close.

So. Close.

He slides his tongue around my nipple, harder, his teeth grazing me, and all the while, his fingers never stop their wicked dance.

Finally, he throws me over the edge, and I’m in free fall. I force my thighs apart, as far as they will go. I’m suspended, a bird frozen mid-flight. Something inside me, something that was dormant for too long, has exploded, and I can feel the rush of lava as it flows over me.

And then?

Then…

Nothing.

Draco pulls away from me. He pulls his fingers out of my panties, and I hear the elastic snap back against my skin with a sound that seems so…final.

The room feels suddenly cold, as if something sucked out all the heat. My body still pulses, vibrating and alive, but I am scared and confused.

“Draco?”

I turn to face him, searching for answers. His expression is unreadable, those dark eyes guarded. The pentagram tattoo on his hand seems to mock me as he runs his hand through his hair.

Why did he stop?

Did I do something wrong?

Why doesn’t he want me?

The questions pile up on me until I feel like I’m drowning beneath them. My hand shakes as I reach down and pull the blanket up to my chest, as if it can shield me from the vulnerability that claws at my chest.

“What’s wrong?”

I reach out, touching his arm. I can feel the heat of his skin, and his muscles tensing under my fingers, but he doesn’t pull away.

Draco sighs, a sound that seems to come from deep within him. When he looks up at me, his eyes are narrowed and dark.

“You should get some sleep, Mercy.”

Is he rejecting me? After everything?

I can feel the sting of tears behind my eyes, but I blink them back.

I won’t do that. After everything, I will not cry now.

“But… I thought…”

I can’t even form a coherent sentence, my thoughts scattering like leaves in a storm.

I thought he wanted this.

I thought he wanted me.

What did I do wrong?

“It’s late,” he says, sliding down under the comforter.

That’s it. He goes quiet.

I lay there staring at the ceiling, listening to the sound of his breathing until it evens out, and I know he’s fallen asleep.

Then, I let myself cry.