Page 13

13

CADENCE

I t’s been just over two weeks since I could be called a virgin, and I’m not sure if anyone else can tell, but when I look in the mirror each day, I swear, it shows.

Instead of the tired, shell of a girl I used to see, I look positively bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and I’m pretty sure it’s because of all the love that Daryl’s been pouring into me.

The love, and the cum, I think with a smirk. During our secret sleepovers and extra library time, Daryl and I have been experimenting in wonderful ways. I’ve taken a liking to having his nutrient-dense seed drip from both ends, and I think that change in my diet is having an effect. I proudly scrunch the curls I’ve put through my unusually lush and glossy hair and can’t help but notice a luminous glow to my skin.

I look myself over in the mirror and turn to check out my ass in the figure-hugging dress. My curves are on full display with the stretchy, deep-green fabric, and there’s no denying I’m a well-rounded woman. I move my hips, loving the freedom in the movement the dress gives me and its softness as it slides against my skin. There’s no way to wear underwear without their lines being seen, and the thought of everyone knowing I’m bare-assed beneath makes my nipples harden. I can see them through the fabric too.

It’s a dress made to make a man drool, as Daryl put it — while wiping his mouth — when I tried it on for him. His usual look of deep appreciation went into battle with a hungrier, more mischievous gaze, and I smile when I think about it. I had messy hair and no makeup on at the time, so when he sees me tonight, he’s probably going to drop his jaw so drastically, his tongue will roll out along the floor, like one of those cartoon wolves who go about whistling at sassy-hipped femme fatales.

I’ve never been overly impressed with my looks, but even I can’t deny how utterly fuckable I feel in this dress. How powerful. I have the ability to turn heads and set them rolling. And that is both terrifying and exhilarating.

I have always dreamed of wearing something like this, but I would never have dared wear it in public — before now. Before Daryl and I truly connected. On every level.

I meet my gaze in the reflection and catch the bright flash of glee in my eyes. I’m in love. Forbidden love. And my secrets look good on me. One look at the vibrant and glowing woman in the mirror, and it’s easy to see that I have loved every second of my time with Daryl. Every covert smile. Every whispered word of truth and praise. Every stolen touch, filled with fondness and warmth, and every body-wracking orgasm that has left me sated and yet always hungry for more.

With Daryl’s support, I’ve been lifting myself out of victim-mode, taking the wheel of my life, and becoming the sexy badass I always knew was hidden under all those layers of guilt, people pleasing, and fear of judgment. Wanting more for myself than the breadcrumbs of love I’ve been given does not make me selfish, unkind, or disloyal. It makes me human. And when I compare my behavior to that of those around me, I’m a damned good one.

“Tonight, I take my first real step toward freedom, and with Daryl backing me up, I’m going to feel safe and wonderful,” I tell my reflection, before I head downstairs to check in with the nurse from Morrinsville, whom Daryl hired to give me the night off. I know from the early days of Mom’s care how much that costs, and I had concerns it was too generous a gift — to which he pointed out, that’s what I should be getting paid daily, for all that I do. He also said that although we wouldn’t be able to go together, the dance was sort of a date, so he gets to pay.

It’s hard to argue with the man when he’s got his mind made up to treat me like fucking royalty.

I eventually accepted his offer and agreed to the cover story that I’ve paid for the nurse out of my savings, because that sends a message to my father about how entitled I feel to a fun night out — how ready I am to take the first step out from the oppression under which I’ve been living. I’m ready to give everyone their first glimpse of exactly who the fuck I am. Standing tall in this dress, with my head high and my hair loose, I finally look like the bad bitch I’ve always had to keep quiet and hidden, and I’m ready to go out and claim the life that is mine.

I’m not even scared about what my father will say. He’s a broken record I’ve unconsciously been turning down for years, but I don’t need to let his music keep playing. I can play a new song —something I like. Happy in my skin and with my choices, nothing that anybody thinks of me seems to matter much anymore. I’ve already heard it all before, and I can no longer summon the ability to care. Even Daryl will be the first to say that the only opinion I need to give a damn about is my own. Which is why I love him so fucking much.

I’ve struggled for years to please everyone around me, only to realize I will never be able to do that and still please my own authentic self. It hurts to accept that, but I can’t do any better, can’t give any more. I’ve been staring down the barrel at burnout, while fenced in and walking on eggshells, and I can’t sustain it. I’ve done the best that I can, and I’ve finally made my peace with that. It’s time to step away, and if looking after myself for a while makes me an ungrateful child unworthy of love, then that’s what I am. I’m going to inform my father that he’ll have a week to find a new full-time carer, look after Mom himself, or put her in a facility, because I’m leaving, and I won’t be coming back.

My aim is to be fashionably late. I want to blend in before anyone can be too surprised to see me in their midst, and it’s definitely dark enough to give me some cover. The sky is clear, but the moon is a quarter after full, and it feels like the perfect night to duck in and out of the shadows however I need to.

Light flows into the Thompson’s gravel courtyard from the wide-open barn doors, but the approach from the parking area remains dimly lit, not quite illuminated by the welcoming fire pits out front. Nobody’s going to know I’m here until I get inside, and that’s exactly what I want. Dad’s less likely to cause a scene in front of the people he spends all his time fooling into believing he’s a composed man of class and firm but fair values.

I step out of my car, glad I chose to wear my favorite, broken-in old boots, as the ground feels a little soft under foot. The band is rocking a loud, upbeat ditty, and it easily puts a little jaunt in my step. I walk between the cars, swinging my hips and tapping my fingers against my thigh. Will the dance floor be crowded already? How long has it been since I danced outside of my kitchen? That school dance I attended in seventh grade, the week before Mom’s accident?

I gasp when a flash of movement catches my eyes, but I grin when I recognize Daryl lurking behind his truck. “You look fucking gorgeous, Cady,” he says, taking me in and swearing as he makes the obligatory crotch adjustments to accommodate his erection. “The way you were shaking that sexy ass of yours just now? You’re making me want to drag you into the fields and fuck it, so best you get it inside before I set my mind to it.” A hungry rumble accompanies a playful slap on my rump, and he then saunters toward the barn ahead of me. He flashes me a dazzling grin over his shoulder before he gets too far. “Save me a dance?”

“Midnight. Over the garden wall.”

He gives me a thumb’s-up, and I let him get a decent distance before I follow. He’s already been here a while, keeping up appearances, and I wasn’t expecting him to greet me, but I’m glad that he did. So glad, I can’t shift the smile from my face, and I walk into the barn dance, ready to make it my bitch.

Within three steps of entering, the faces start to turn my way. It happens slowly at first, and then all at once, as the dominoes are set in motion one by one by the nudge of an elbow to a neighbor, or one man’s tug of another man’s shirt. Eyes widen, mouths drop open, and the music may as well screech to a halt with how still everyone becomes.

I don’t try to hide. It would be impossible in this dress. My tits are the particularly proud and pretty centerpiece nestled into the snug, low-cut neckline. In fact, every curve I have is on display. Everyone here can see that all their beliefs about my being daddy’s reclusive little good girl are about to be challenged and obliterated.

I see Sally Carruthers in the mix and wave. She looks around as if she’s about to be burned at the stake and quickly retreats through the people behind her. I guess my waving could suggest she’s in some way responsible for my saucy transformation, and while my first thought is to find her later and apologize for not considering that, my second thought, is that I don’t need to give a fuck about how she chooses to respond to a friendly wave.

Weirdly, nobody says anything to me. No-one approaches. They just look at me, like I’m some sort of freak — and to them, I probably am. None of them know anything about me, other than what they’ve chosen to believe, so being faced with something to the contrary… it’s likely a little unsettling. And awkward.

“Y’all act like you’ve never seen a woman before, but I know y’all have seen plenty. Carry on, everyone.” I swat my hand at the bulk of the group and head for the drinks table.

“Cadence Malone.”

I brace myself and turn slowly to greet my father. “Yes, Daddy?”

“What the hell are you wearing, and who in the world is watching your mother?”

“Well, this is called a dress. And Mom’s at home, perfectly safe, with the nurse I booked to watch her so I could have a night off. I even cleaned out the downstairs bedroom, so she can be put to bed there, leaving no need for you to call your night short to carry her up the stairs. After all, I know how late you like to stay out with your friends, especially the ones in Morrinsville.” I throw a challenging glare at the many folk who are clearly eavesdropping while trying to look like they’re minding their business. Fucking small towns .

Dad glowers at me and starts shrugging out of his sports coat. “Cover yourself at once. You look like a damn lady of the night.”

“Well, you’d know what one of those looks like, wouldn’t you?” I take his jacket as if I’ll do as he’s asked, but I throw it over the nearest hay bale instead. “Even the Morrinsville nurse from I hired to watch Mom tonight saw your photo on the wall and recognized you from the amount of time you spend in those parts. Seems you’re allowed to abandon your family whenever you want, to entertain who you please, while I’m stuck at home, treated like a sexual leper.”

“ Cadence .” His tone is low and warning, and his eyes flash around the room, like I’m airing his dirty laundry too loudly. I’m not. I’m actually being kindly quiet.

“What did I say?” I ask innocently. “Are you upset I said the word sexual ? Or did I imply I was judging you when I said that I know you’re out paying for it? Because I actually understand that completely. It’s not like Mom can consent to anything anymore, so you can’t go there. So, are you annoyed that I’m calling you a hypocrite? Or are you just annoyed that I’m here speaking at all?” I press the back of my hand to my brow with dramatic flair. “ Oh no . What if someone hears the truth.” I roll my eyes and walk around him to get myself a drink.

“You’re looking exceptionally sassy and voluptuous tonight, Miss Malone,” Daryl says, already at the drinks table.

I snort and accept the drink he hands me. “Good evening, Mr. Winters. Read any good books lately?”

Dad comes butting in between us. He takes the drink from my hand and dumps it into the nearby trash bucket. “Whatever argument you’re having with me, there’s no need to ruin your life over it by becoming this man’s next victim. Don’t ever accept a drink from this man again. Especially dressed as you are. You’re asking for trouble.”

I stare at my father. “Are you serious? Did you — in the space of one breath — accuse an innocent man of drugging my drink in the hope of then assaulting me in some way; while also telling me it would be my own fault, because I’m wearing a nice dress? Do you even hear yourself?”

Daryl clears his throat. “Harmful and misguided as his suggestions may be, I believe your father is only trying to protect you from a perceived threat.” He steps closer and stands taller, towering over my father a little. “He doesn’t want my… reputation to touch a woman of your obvious grace and caliber.”

“Well, that’s God’s honest truth.” Dad jabs Daryl in the chest with his finger. “So take your drink and get your shitty reputation the hell away from my daughter, ass-fucker .”

Daryl inhales through pursed lips and then grins. “No need to get so defensive, Vander. I’m not trying to stick my dick in your ass. You’re not my type.” He gives me a wink and walks away with a sexy swagger in his step. It’s hard not to watch his ass as he leaves, and Dad notices my interest.

“Don’t you try and break my heart that way, Cady. You’re worth more than that.”

“Am I?” I ask turning back to him. “How much am I worth, exactly? A full-time salary with benefits and annual leave? Because that’s what you’ll have to pay someone when I leave town next week.”

“ What? ” The look on his face is priceless and incredibly satisfying.

I cover my fake gasp. “ Oh . Did I not tell you? I must have been too busy arguing for this one, single night off. Wow. It’s a good thing I won’t have to fight for my human rights anymore. That must be such a relief for a man who cares so much for his daughter he does everything he can to keep her from ever leaving the house.”

I’m so consumed by my rant, he actually looks a little scared. He even takes a step back. “Cadence, you’re being unreasonable?—”

My rage-fires are about to burn this fucker to the ground. “ I’m being unreasonable?”

Dad glances around, takes my elbow, and guides me away from the crowd. “Lower your voice, you’re causing a scene. People are starting to stare.”

“So?” I yank my arm away from him. “Let them look. You know what they’ll see? A grown woman having fun at a dance. You have a great night, Dad.”

I merge with the dance crowd, moving in time with the music. I take a moment to collect myself, and then really settle into the fun I came here to have. It feels like forever ago that I hung out with any of my peers from school, but it doesn’t take long for the smiles to welcome me back into the fold. Are they catching glimpses of who I used to be?

How unrecognizable to them have I become over the years, as I withdrew further and further into my shell? Do I seem like a stranger to them?

I certainly feel like a stranger. As much as I want to feel connected to these people, I can’t. I’m no longer the shell I became under Dad’s burdens, but I’m not who I was back then either. I’m something new and fresh; something poised on the edge of an entirely new beginning, where I can be anyone I want and go anywhere I want. Every possibility is now open to me, and as overwhelming as that may feel, I’m excited by it.

I make my way toward an exit, in need some fresh air and a hug from the man I love.