Page 46 of Peach Cobbler Confessions

“I’m sure you’re familiar with that name because you heard it quite a bit.”

She pulls me back by the elbow. “You take that back. I am not a tart.”

“Well, I’m not a tart either.”

“Yes, you are,” she whispers as loud as she can.

“Then you are, too!” I whisper-shout right back.

Carlotta wraps her hands around my neck and begins to throttle me, and, like a reflex, I do the same to her. The two of us stand in the shadows of the hedges, strangling one another until we both burst out laughing at the very same time.

“Shhh!” I mean to quiet her down, but it just morphs into choo-choo train laughter instead.

Carlotta slaps her thigh as nothing but air comes out of her mouth she’s wheezing so hard with laughter.

She wipes her eyes down with her pinkies. “I think I just peed my pants.”

“That makes two of us.” I shudder. “Come on. We’d better hurry before things go from wet to worse.”

“That’s how I know we’re related, weak Sawyer bladders.”

We traipse our way to the back of the property, and thankfully I don’t see any signs that alert us to a home security system. Although, I suppose we’ll find out soon enough.

The house isn’t too expansive—maybe two thousand square feet, one story, brown brick façade with a wraparound border garden.

Carlotta gives my sleeve a tug and points to a partially open window that looks no bigger than two feet wide and one foot tall.

I shake my head. “I don’t think I can fit.”

“That’s what you got me for. You don’t see me noshing on donuts all day long, do you? And this is why.” She pushes a large rock underneath it and hops on up.

“I don’t know, Carlotta. That’s an awfully small opening. Let’s check the other windows and get back to it.”

“Nope. I’m doing it.”

“Carlotta, I forbid it.”

A glint of defiance lights up her eyes, and for a second, I feel bad for Grandma Nell who had to raise her, especially now that I can see what she was up against.

Carlotta all but growls at me. “I’ve been on this planet a heck of a lot longer than you have, missy. Out of my way.” She scampers up the wall like a spider monkey, plucks off the screen, and launches half her body into the house, leaving her bottom wedged in the opening while her legs flail wildly.

I grunt, “I knew this would end badly. Me and my big ideas. And you and your big behind.” I head over to a back porch slider and, sure enough, it’s unlocked. “Good grief.” I enter into the house to the sound of Carlotta’s desperate pleas for help. “Hello? Is anyone home?” I shout.

Rule number one when breaking and entering: DO NOT SHOUT TO SEE IF ANYONE IS HOME!

I’m about to exit the room when I note the wall-to-wall bookshelves, a couple of tall wooden filing cabinets, and a desk.

“The office!” I gasp with unmitigated delight.

Carlotta yelps so loud I’m truly concerned she just accidentally sawed herself in half. I don’t think we’re that far away from it becoming a reality, so I run down the hall and follow her screams until I hit the bathroom and find her beating the shower wall with her fists.

“Carlotta,” I hiss. “Are you okay?”

“Do I look okay? Sometimes I wonder about you, Lot.”

I head over and try my hardest to pull her in, but she’s wedged in so tight she might as well be encased in concrete.

“Oh dear Lord,” I pant. “Don’t panic.” That was more or less me talking to myself. “The office is right next door. I’ll do what I can, and then we’ll bust you out of here.” I take off and quickly text Everett.