Page 5

Pax set the plate in front of Deanna, the halibut cooked perfectly with a side of asparagus and thinly sliced scalloped potatoes. She smiled at him and took a bite.

“It’s delicious. Where did you learn to cook like this?” she asked.

“Well, when you’re in the military, you eat a lot of shitty meals. You get good ones as well, but one of the things I always looked forward to was coming home to Mom’s cooking or the cafeteria or café. Brax and I made a pact early on that even though we had our own apartments, we would cook dinner and eat like a family once a week. Mav and Saint, too.”

“Saint? Oh, Patrick. Why do you call him Saint?” she asked.

“That’s for him to say,” smirked Pax. He watched as she picked at the food and noticed she was having trouble chewing. “You’re hurting.”

“A little,” she said, blushing. “They said it would take a while to heal. Cruz wanted me to go to a pond for a warm spring swim, but I never got around to it.”

“We should get you back there to do it,” he said. “It makes a helluva difference.”

“I’ll think about it.” She went back to picking at her food and then looked at Pax. “Why are you here, Pax? You don’t owe me anything. This isn’t your fault.”

“I know,” he said. “I’m here because I care about you. No, that’s not right.”

“It’s not,” she whispered, looking hurt.

“No, it’s not. Yes, I care about you, but I care for you, Deanna. More than I thought. I always have, and I’ve always seemed to miss my chance with you. First in high school, then afterward, always missing one another when I was home. When I saw you again a few weeks ago, I thought it was fate.”

Deanna said nothing, just staring at the man she’d had a crush on for almost twenty years. Carrying a torch for a boy that you knew a lifetime ago seemed unhealthy, yet she could never shake it. Thoughts were always on Paxton Pechkin.

“I didn’t know you felt that way,” she said in a barely audible voice.

“That’s my fault. I didn’t tell you.”

“Pax, this isn’t the time. Look at me. I’m a monster.”

“No,” he said, gripping her hand. “No, you’re not. You’re still the beautiful woman I’ve known forever. You’re still smart, and wise, and kind, and fucking beautiful. Let me help you, Deanna. Let me help you to feel good about you so that you’ll feel good about us.”

“Why? I mean, why me? Pax, you could be on the cover of an adventurer magazine, or fashion or fitness, or something! You can’t tell me that you haven’t been with dozens of women.”

“First of all, I haven’t been with dozens of women. I’m not quite that much of a man-whore,” he smirked. “I’m not an angel. Of course, I’ve had partners. Brief, unimportant partners that always knew I wasn’t interested in more.”

“They must have wanted more. I would have.” She stunned herself with the statement, covering her mouth. “I meant, I mean…”

“I know,” he said, squeezing her hand. “I wanted more, too. But with the right woman, Deanna. Not just any woman that only wanted a night with a Navy SEAL.”

“D-did that happen a lot?”

“Not a lot. But it did happen. I don’t want to talk about that. I’m sure you’ve had a lot of boyfriends.”

“Two.”

“Two?”

“Yes. Two,” she repeated.

“Deanna, honey, I don’t want to call you a liar, but how does a woman who looks like you only have two boyfriends her entire adult life?”

“I was busy,” she said, shrugging. “I mean, first it was school and then working for Mom and Dad. That entire time my stupid cousin, Josh, was my bodyguard and chased off every damn guy who ever asked me out.”

“Remind me to send chocolates to Josh,” he grinned.

“It’s not funny, Pax. I was alone, a lot. When I finally had a steady boyfriend, he thought I was weird and too traditional.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want to have sex right away, and then when we did, he wanted me to move in with him immediately. I said no. He got angry over time and left.”

“He wasn’t the man for you.”

Deanna stared at him, feeling the blush creep over her body.

“The second boyfriend, I thought we would be serious. I mean, I thought he might be the one.”

“What happened?” She didn’t say anything at first, just pushing her food around on the plate. “Deanna?”

“You happened.”

“Me?”

“It was three years ago. Mom and Dad were out at Belle Fleur visiting with everyone, and they asked me to come out and pick them up. They didn’t drive at night much any longer, and they don’t like taxis. So, I drove out there.

“You were home on leave. The guys were all getting ready to go to The Well, and you said you had a book you wanted to finish and were going to bed early.”

“You didn’t say hello,” he frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I was nervous. You were on the porch of the big house in shorts and a t-shirt. You weren’t wearing shoes, and it was the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. It’s so stupid,” she said, shaking her head.

“It’s not stupid at all. I sure wish you would have said something. We might be three years ahead of where we are right now,” he grinned. He could tell she still wasn’t convinced, looking down and pulling the cap over her face again.

“It will heal, Deanna. All of it. You have to trust me.”

“This won’t,” she said, unbuttoning her blouse. The deep red scar from the center of her clavicle all the way to her belly button. Pax turned his chair to face her and reached out, touching the scar. He felt the tears hit his hand and shook his head.

“Did I hurt you?”

“No,” she sniffed.

“It will go away, Deanna. I know you don’t understand this right now, but it will. But hear me out. Even if it didn’t go away, I wouldn’t feel any differently about you.”

“I’m not ready to go back right now,” she said.

“Good,” he smiled. “I needed some time off, and this house, this beach, is the perfect place to relax. I’d like to take long walks in the morning, with you, sit by the fire pit at night, with you, maybe go for a burger and a beer at my favorite spot on the island, with you, and then come back here and watch the sunset from the porch, with you by my side.

“I want the next few days, weeks, whatever it takes to be about you and me. Tell me everything that’s happened in your life since we’ve been apart, and I’ll tell you about mine. I want to know it all, Deanna.”

“What if I can’t do this, Pax? What if I’m ruined from the inside out? What if I’m an emotional basket case? What if I fall apart?” she sniffed.

“I’ll be there to put you back together.”