Page 18 of Pawns of Fate

ROSE

T hings had gone better than Rose had dared to hope. Lady Dahtey had been a bit rude; Ava had made a few social blunders, mostly staring, but the gathering hadn’t devolved into all-out fighting. Rose had managed to smooth things over, just like Nicholas had asked.

Ava said as much after their tea time ended and they ran into Nicholas and York in the dark castle hallway.

“Lady Dahtey really liked Rose,” Ava reported cheerfully. “She was rude, at first. But Rose handled it well and won her over. Ylimia even told us a romantic story from her youth.” Ava put her hands over her heart and sighed with contentment.

“Seriously? No trouble at all?” York said, his voice coated with disbelief as he glanced between the two girls.

“Well, I stared at Lady Dahtey,” Ava admitted sheepishly. “I couldn’t help it. She was so, so elegant and intimidating.”

“Ava…”

“She was fine,” Rose said. “Lady Dahtey generously excused any faux pas on our part. She was… kinder than I remembered from my stay with her clan last year.”

“That’s wonderful,” York said with relief.

Rose glanced at Nicholas, noticing he hadn’t said anything. She was surprised to see that he looked tense. Had things not gone the way he wanted? He’d asked her to smooth things over, and she’d done more than that.

A man wearing a long, black cape made of crow feathers stepped out of Nicholas’s office. Her betrothed stiffened, unable to make eye contact with her. Surprise stole Rose’s breath. Nicholas had been meeting with a leader of the Ojoh clan.

Rose’s giddiness at the afternoon’s success evaporated, and the headache that had lurked at the edge of her mind since yesterday crept forward boldly. She wasn’t ready; she needed more time to rein in her heart.

“I need to talk with you, Rose,” Nicholas gritted out as the man walked away.

“That’s fine,” Rose replied softly as she found that she wasn’t able to look Nicholas in the eye, either.

Ava and York made their hurried excuses to leave.

Rose and Nicholas walked to the garden, tension twisting around, between, and behind them with every step.

Rose felt a pressing need to gather her thoughts, but her head refused to stop spinning—refused to stop re-hashing the events leading up to this moment.

Luanna’s birthday, meeting Ava, meeting Nicholas.

The horse ride to Onanish. An ogre attack and a golden-eyed snake.

Tea at the Red Dragon. Tea with Ava and Lady Dahtey.

A midnight kiss in a moon-drenched garden.

The memories swirled in her mind’s windstorm, and Rose needed an anchor.

If you trust each other, love will grow.

She clutched Ylimia’s words and let her memories of the conversation and tea party—which had gone so well, regardless of the current situation—guide her.

If you trust each other, love will grow. Ylimia’s words echoed through her mind. Should Rose follow her advice?

Did she trust Nicholas? In one sense, yes. Nicholas had been honest and upfront with her from the moment they’d met. He could have hidden the whole situation from her to avoid the conflict for as long as possible, so she at least trusted him to tell her the truth.

Did she trust Nicholas to love her, though?

That was a more complex question to answer.

Nicholas was a good lord who cared deeply for his people and even more deeply for his family.

She trusted him to do what was best for them above anything else.

It was why he agreed to marry a woman he didn’t know and use her as collateral, despite his apparent distaste for the situation. His family needed him to do it.

So, where did that leave Rose? Did he think of her as part of his family?

Obviously, she hadn’t been when Nicholas agreed to the marriage and its consequences.

But what about now? He’d been kind to her.

He’d kissed her. Yet he would still use her as a pawn in these negotiations, just as her uncle had done. Could she forgive him for it?

“You met with a leader of the Ojoh today,” Rose said when she could no longer stand the noise of her thoughts.

Nicholas touched his throat as his eyes widened. “I didn’t think you’d want to talk about it so directly.”

“There’s no point in beating around the bush.” Annoyance flickered through Rose. Did he think she was stupid? Or maybe scared? Had he hoped she wouldn’t recognize an Ojoh warrior waltzing out of his office?

“We’ll trade captives the morning after our wedding.” Nicholas struggled to keep his tone neutral. His eyes wandered all over the otherwise peaceful garden, landing on anything but Rose.

“Oh.” It was all that Rose could find in her heart to say. She looked away from him and sighed.

“I don’t want you to go.” Nicholas took Rose’s hands into his own. The words sounded hollow, even though his face looked sincere. He raised the pitch of his desperation-filled voice. “I’ve been thinking of solutions, of ways around it.”

“Nicholas, it will be okay.” Rose tried to smile gently at him. Watching him struggle with this was lessening her resentment. He didn’t want her to go.

His eyes were sunken, and his skin lacked some of its usual youthful vigor. Lines of concern and worry played on his forehead and around the corners of his mouth. He was worried about her. This man was worried about her.

A strange feeling tugged on her heart. Was it endearment? Affection? Rose couldn’t quite name it, but when she thought about how no one had ever worried for her before, but Nicholas was, she felt a warmth in her heart that hadn’t been there before.

Tiny blooms of hope burst through the soil of her heart. Perhaps when she returned from her time with the Ojoh, she could find some happiness with Nicholas.

“I came up with one solution,” he said with determination.

“What is it?” Rose asked, her curiosity piqued.

“I’ll get you pregnant.”

She met his proposal with stunned silence, then laughter.

“Be serious.”

“They’ll have to send Ava instead if you’re carrying a Sharp heir.”

“Nicholas,” Rose exclaimed, tugging her hands free and stepping back.

The thought of sending Ava to the Ojoh made her bristle.

She’d barely handled tea with Lady Dahtey.

How would Ava manage half a year’s stay with a clan of desert warriors?

“Give me a moment to think.” She pinched the bridge of her nose, then massaged her temples.

“Rose, I—” Nicholas started, but she shot him a glare that made him bite his tongue.

Was he suggesting that they try to get pregnant now? Perhaps Nicholas wasn’t familiar with how long it usually took couples to conceive and confirm a pregnancy. Even if they started tonight, the chances were low, and there wasn’t enough time .

She glanced at her betrothed. His sunken eyes tore at her heart. Nicholas probably did know. He was just desperate.

“This is…” She gulped. “You’ve managed to surprise me. I don’t usually lose my words like this.”

Nicholas nodded and stepped closer to her. A small breeze blew between them, rustling the branches of the trees and filling Rose’s senses with the piney scent.

“I know it’s sudden. I just—” He let out a sigh that carried enough weight to drown a horse.

“I can’t think of a better solution. Can you?

If my family can’t separate our forces from the Ojoh border to help your uncle with his monster-filled swamps, we won’t be married at all.

” He reached for her hand. “I don’t want that. ”

Rose chewed on her bottom lip. A small affection for the man who had devised such a terrible plan so that he could still marry her was planting itself firmly in her heart. She gingerly placed her hands in his.

“I’m thrilled you want me to stay, Nicholas.” His eyes widened with hope. “But, I still don’t think it’s a good idea,” she added.

“What? Why not?”

Rose suppressed a wince. She wanted to let him down gently. After all, making a baby with Nicholas certainly sounded more enjoyable than going to stay with the Ojoh. It just wasn’t what was best for their family.

She walked toward a bench in the shade of a large oak tree, still holding Nicholas’s hand.

“I am delighted that you want me to stay, and I want nothing more than that, too. But everything was put into place before you and I even met. Backing out of these negotiations would cause more than just the dissolution of our engagement. It could cause more fighting and death.” They reached the shady bench and sat down, side by side.

“Sending Ava instead of me would strain our friendship and your relationship with York, even if I were pregnant. Besides, even if we started trying to conceive tonight,” —her cheeks blushed pink— “it’s highly unlikely that it would be enough time to confirm a pregnancy.

” She angled her body so that her knees bumped against Nicholas’s.

“We could still try.” Nicholas pouted, just a little.

Rose brought her hand to his face and softly cupped his cheek. She kissed him lightly on the lips.

“It isn’t the right thing to do. We can’t hurt our family like that.”

“ Our family?” Rose didn’t miss the tenderness in Nicholas’s eyes.

She nodded. “ Our family.”

Nicholas responded by kissing her deeply. The headache that had been building since she’d seen the Ojoh leader step out of Nicholas’s office began to melt away. Rose was swept up in his gentle touch; he held her as if she were some sort of precious treasure.

“You always surprise me, Rose,” he murmured against her lips.

“You always surprise me , Nicholas,” she said, then peppered his face with light kisses. She could feel Nicholas’s smile against her cheek. Warmth flooded her body, pooling at her core, and she lost control of her senses, tethering with the aural plane for a moment.