Page 54

Epilogue

“ D id you get the bottles?”

“Ha ha. Extra diapers?”

“Yes.” He held up a finger. “The disposable kind because if you think I’m going to a restaurant and saving shitty cloth diapers for you to wash later, you’re out of your mind.”

I bit back a retort about cloth diapers being more economical and better for the environment because, to be honest, after almost two weeks of poop to my eyeballs, I was less enthused about them myself.

It had been a good idea in theory, but the overwhelming reality of having a newborn at home, the lack of sleep, and the sheer number of diaper changes in a given day wore me out.

Laundry was a chore that was quickly getting away from me.

“Change of clothes?”

“Three onesies. ”

“Extra socks? She shit through two pairs of socks yesterday. Don’t ask me how. That stuff comes out like a cannon and ends up everywhere.”

Aslan chuckled. “Extra socks, undershirts, and a fresh pack of wipes in case she explodes and we have to wipe down walls.”

“Good.” I swiped a hand over my head, mussing my imperfect hair. I couldn’t think of anything else.

I stared at my daughter, who was wide awake in her bouncy seat, dressed for her official introduction into the world in a white summer dress with yellow baby ducks embroidered along the ruffled edge.

Aslan had carefully clipped a matching barrette into her dark hair.

She looked around, kicking her feet as she examined her world, jostling the seat in the process.

She’d been more alert the past few days, soaking in her environment and focusing longer on objects and faces.

She sucked on her fist, still unable to locate her thumb half the time, her chin dotted with tiny red pimples from too much drool.

She had a faint scratch on her cheek from where she had marked herself with a nail the other day.

We’d tried putting baby mittens on her, but then she wailed because she couldn’t find her hands to suck, so I’d been fastidious about keeping her nails trimmed and filed, which was no easy feat since she squirmed a lot.

I hated seeing her hurt herself, but I also hated making her upset.

Parenting was a learning process. Every day came with new challenges, but we were getting by. We had developed routines and were finding our groove. Neither of us had slept much, but we held each other up and kept going.

Oscar sat sentinel near the bouncy seat.

He’d decided the baby wasn’t so bad—from a distance.

Only when she spit up her formula or was eating did he risk getting closer.

Ordinarily, he remained leery of the tiny human with no control over her limbs, who would randomly grab his fur if he was within range.

I retrieved a fallen sock she’d kicked off before kissing her nose and drying her hand on the spit blanket we kept within reach. I put her sock back on. “Be good for Papa, and I’ll see you at the restaurant.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with us?”

“No.” I stood, glancing down at Juniper, my mind on the other baby born on the same day. “I keep putting this off. If I don’t go now, I might not. I need to do this, Az.”

He squeezed my hand, drawing me against his chest and kissing me deeply. “Don’t linger. None of it was your fault. You can’t keep blaming yourself.”

“I know. I won’t. I’ll be right behind you.”

I gave Juniper one last kiss and Oscar a scratch on the head before heading out.

The baby shower started at three, but I left early, needing a head start so I could swing by the hospital on my way.

After making a few phone calls, I learned that Baby Davis was still a patient in Sunnybrook Hospital’s NIC unit.

After all that had happened, I felt compelled to visit and see how he was doing.

My credentials got me to the right location, and a kind nurse who remembered me said I could visit, but only because Baby Davis’s dad was already present and had granted me permission.

Hearing Nixon was around made my heart clench.

I didn’t know what had happened in the weeks since Crowley’s recovery, Flynn’s death, and the baby’s arrival.

Since I was officially on leave, Edwards had put the burden of wrapping up the case on the other members involved.

Since I’d been so busy with Juniper, I hadn’t asked many questions.

I followed the nurse’s instructions for washing before entering the unit.

Immediately, I located Nixon standing beside a nearby incubator.

Inside the incubator was the smallest baby I’d ever seen.

Robin Davis was only a couple of inches bigger than the palm of my hand.

He was hooked to several monitors that gave the doctors and nurses vital information.

My stomach clenched so tightly that I feared I might be sick.

I thought of Juniper at home with Aslan. Happy. Healthy. Strong.

I moved in beside Nixon, ignoring the abundance of machinery in the room, the beeping and tubing and rows of incubators holding other babies too small or sick to be at their mother’s or father’s side. The sight strangled the breath from my lungs.

Nixon’s hand was through one of the incubator holes. He cradled his son’s hat-covered head as the infant slept.

“How’s he doing?” I asked. Although Nixon hadn’t acknowledged my presence, he likely knew I was there.

“Really well, actually. He’s making good progress. Gained some weight. Boasting a solid three and a half pounds now. Every ounce counts at this stage. He still needs assistance to breathe, but they figure another week, and he might be able to try on his own.”

“That’s good. How are you holding up?”

Nixon let out a weary sigh but didn’t respond right away. “It’s… It’s been a shit show.”

“I can imagine.”

“Genie was charged with assault and attempted murder. You were right to have her hands tested. She admitted to attacking Clementine. I guess…” Another exhausted sigh crossed his lips, and Nixon closed his eyes momentarily before continuing.

“Genie found out that Flynn was seeing Clementine on the side.”

“So she fired her.”

“Yes. Of course, she couldn’t tell me why without revealing her other secrets.

She’s living with her sister now. I… I couldn’t do it.

I co uldn’t have her at home. I got temporary full custody.

She’s not allowed near the kids for the time being.

She has to go to court eventually. My mom’s helping me with Crow and Sparrow since I need to come here and check on this little guy every day, but we’re getting by.

Jude’s holding down the fort at the office since I can’t work. ”

I couldn’t imagine what Nixon was going through. His world had been upended, turned inside out.

I was about to cut in when he continued. “My dad apologized, but…” Nixon huffed. “I can’t find it in me to accept his apology. Not sure I ever will. He stole from me and Jude. He covered for Flynn to protect his own reputation. He’s lied to me for years.”

Nixon removed his hand from his son’s head and withdrew it from the incubator. Glancing at me for the first time, he said, “I hear you had a daughter.”

“I did.” But it seemed inappropriate to gloat and revel in my newfound joy when he was so broken.

“Congratulations.”

“Thank you.”

Together, we left the NICU and wandered into the hallway beyond. Nixon paused, scrubbing at his unshaven jaw. The man looked tired, and he had every right. It would take a long time to pick up the pieces and move forward.

“How’s Crowley doing?” I asked. The kid had been through hell.

According to Jordyn, the boy had reported that Flynn was the one who picked him up outside the arena.

Flynn brought him to Clementine at the professor’s house, refusing to explain what was happening.

Crowley wasn’t hurt or abused. They let him play video games and eat junk food, saying only that his mom and dad were away.

It wasn’t until those final hours that Crow realized something was wrong .

“He asks a lot of questions. About his uncle. About what it means that I’m not truly his dad. He wants to know why Flynn and his mother lied to him. To me. He wants to know if it means I don’t love him anymore. I told him of course I do. He will always be my son no matter what.”

We talked for a short time. Nixon told me how Sparrow was faring.

The young girl was pleased to have her big brother home.

When I asked about Clementine, Nixon explained that his ex-nanny might have been in a willing relationship with Flynn but that the business with kidnapping Crowley had been Flynn’s doing, and she had been unwittingly drawn in against her will.

His skills at manipulation meant Clementine became part of the scheme, convinced to give up her professor’s house and play along under threats of violence and exposure.

By the time Crow was taken, she was in over her head and too afraid not to do as Flynn said.

In the end, I wished Nixon the best and headed out. I had a baby shower to attend, a daughter to show off to the world, and a husband I needed to cling to because life was precious, and I wanted to be sure I savored everything good that came my way.

***

I arrived five minutes late and was guided to a separate room Amelia had reserved for the celebration.

Family and friends visited and chatted. Aslan’s parents, his sister and her family, my dad, Costa and his family, Torin and his, Jordyn and her fiancée, June, my old partner, Eden, her daughter, and several other people from Aslan’s side I’d met only a handful of times .

A table was set up along one wall, bursting with platters of finger foods. Strung from the ceiling was a banner that read It’s a Girl . Surrounding it were dozens of pink balloons. On another table was a mountain of gift boxes and bags, all wrapped in baby-inspired paper and sporting curly ribbons.