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AFTER DINNER, WE all crammed into the bedroom with Mary Catherine to watch some show she and Ricky wanted to see. My grandfather had magically appeared about thirty minutes ago, specifically requesting that we watch the show as well. It didn’t surprise me to find out it was a cooking show. Some of the other kids suggested shows on Disney+ or Netflix. Frankly, I thought any of the other suggestions sounded better.

The cooking show was hosted by a guy from Brooklyn who looked like he ate more of the food he made than served it. The show was called Rising Chefs . The host’s named was Gino Carmelli, and he leaned into his character hard. He carried most of his extra seventy-five pounds right around his waist. His black hair was slicked back and the ring on his left pinky finger looked like it weighed two pounds.

His Brooklyn Italian accent was so thick I thought it sounded fake. There were a lot of phrases that felt lifted from Goodfellas or The Sopranos .

Jane said, “I heard they just picked up this show on the network to counter the Gordon Ramsay show. This guy even tries to act like Ramsay. He’s loud, he’s got a foul mouth, and he makes the worst jokes you could possibly imagine.”

I said, “Really? I start most days off with a barrage of puns from Walter Jackson. Can this be worse than that?”

Trent said, “ I think Mr. Jackson is hysterical. He looks like he played football at Ohio State, but he’s as smart as someone who went to Michigan.”

I did a double take. “Did you just make a joke about the rivalry between Ohio State and Michigan?”

Trent just grinned. That boy was sneaky smart and very funny. I might have to keep an eye on him as he got older.

My grandfather said, “I thought it’d be a nice change from watching the Kardashians or playing video games.”

Mary Catherine turned to my grandfather and quickly said, “No one in this house watches the Kardashians.”

I caught the glances and smiles that passed between my fourteen-year-old twins, Bridget and Fiona, and my oldest daughter, Juliana. I had wondered what they were doing in Juliana’s room in the evenings. Now I had a pretty good idea. I didn’t have to guess who Seamus was talking about concerning the video games. All the males in this house, myself excluded, played a lot of Call of Duty or The Last of Us.

I noticed Ricky was silent during the conversation about what we should watch and not watch. I realized he, my grandfather, and Mary Catherine were part of some sort of conspiracy. It was almost like reading an Agatha Christie novel. I just sat back and took in the experience until their actual motive was exposed.

We all turned our attention to the TV as the heavyset man wearing a chef’s hat came on and started to introduce teenagers as contestants on his show. That’s when I realized this was a kids’ cooking show.

Now it was starting to make sense.