Page 20 of Owned by Four Alphas (Silverthorn Alphas #2)

The sun hadn’t even begun peeking over the distant mountains by the time Elian decided to circle back and rejoin his pack. Truthfully, he hadn’t had anywhere to really go in the first place. No covert meetings set up, no leads to chase. Unlike the past few times he had left, where he’d meticulously organized his schedule to get in as much research as was possible while his pack was on the run.

It was a good thing he was so adept at memory charms. Failing that, good old intimidation tended to do the trick. Dusty old Fae scholars were far too concerned with their books and their scrolls to bother with what they deemed the petty politics of an ever-changing realm.

The dragons, though, they were harder. He’d had to utilize a whole host of disguises, spells, and threats to break into even the most outer rim of the dragons’ archives. From there, he had relied on a few covert members of the Order of Theldir to sneak him further inside. The cult had always been strongest amongst the dragons, and it was easy enough to trick them into thinking he was looking to use Theldir as a weapon against the humans.

And for the most part, his research had been productive. Most recently he’d learned a good deal about the specific abilities of such gods.

It was worth it, though. He had nearly untangled the web. One or two more trips and Elian reckoned he’d be able to figure it out.

A shame he didn’t have any contacts lined up ready to help him on that particular night. Although perhaps it was a blessing, as he doubted he would have been able to get any work done at all in his state.

For hours, he had circled through the woods, drifting through the trees, with no particular destination in mind. All he could think about, the only thing he could focus on, was that he had hurt his mate.

Elian had done a great many terrible things in his lifetime. Assassination, torture, murder in cold blood. Whether it was in his nature as a Fae, or it was just him , he had never batted an eye. No amount of screaming, pleading, or begging had ever had any effect on him whatsoever.

But one bolt of magic, not even deadly, that had only caused a few surface level wounds, was enough to shake his whole world, his whole sense of self.

At first, he had ascribed the dizzying, swirling guilt and confusion to nothing more than an alpha’s response to hurting an omega. But that wasn’t correct, as many alphas took great pleasure in hurting omegas in a myriad of despicable ways.

Perhaps it was that he had hurt his mate, then? But that also seemed improbable. Again, being mated didn’t always save omegas from the wrath of their alphas.

Elian therefore could find no way to ascribe his self-disgust to merely his biology. It was something else. Something darker, something far more alarming.

It was because of his conscience.

He had seen Selena hurt before, but that was always the fault of someone else. Someone he could point all the devastating force of his retribution and anger towards. Someone he could blame, and punish accordingly.

But this time, there was no enemy. Nobody to take the blame. Nobody he could punish except for himself.

It was not a feeling he was familiar with at all. And not one he liked in the slightest.

He’d considered flying down into the forest, finding a rogue pack of Nightwalkers or something similar and allowing them to savage him beyond the point of retribution. Perhaps turning himself over to the wolves. Maybe even aiming his own shadows at himself, and seeing what damage he could inflict.

Something, anything to assuage the howling pit of guilt and despair within him.

It seemed like the easy way out. Selena would gain no satisfaction at all seeing him maimed or tortured, so he would really only be doing it for himself. But he couldn’t expect her to just forgive him, either. He needed to take action, to prove how sorry he was, how swamped in regret.

His sharp eyes caught a rustle of movement in the undergrowth. A rabbit, just waking up and emerging from its den.

It didn’t even realize what was coming before his talons were embedded in its neck.

Lifting his kill into the air, he turned towards the clearing where everything had begun, the first rays of the morning sun kissing his wings.

He may not have known how to make things better, but breakfast seemed like a sufficient way to start.

He soared above the clearing, clicking his beak when he saw Ronan and Kaelen still slumbering by the smoking embers of the fire. Figuring Selena had to be nestled beneath the branches of the birch, safely out of sight, he circled down and landed, letting his feather fade away and his true self emerge.

Instantly, the hairs on the back of his neck stood up.

Something was wrong.

Both Kaelen and Ronan were asleep. Malek hadn’t returned. And Selena…

He couldn’t scent any trace of his mate.

“Kaelen,” he said, discarding the rabbit and giving his packmate a kick. “Kaelen, get up!”

Kaelen groaned, rubbing his eyes, his movement unusually lethargic as he rolled back over.

“Ronan!” Elian yelled, but the wolf didn’t even stir.

He whipped his head around, his heart in his throat. Yelling and shouting couldn’t raise his packmates, so he instead sent bolts of shadow to their flanks.

Ronan was on his feet instantly, jaws snapping and growling. His yellow eyes locked with Elian, and he let out a furious roar, preparing to pounce—

Elian just leapt out of the way of Ronan’s furious jaws.

“Wait! Wait, I’m not attacking you, I was waking you up!”

Ronan, still sleep-addled and confused, whipped around, his teeth bared, “You backstabbing little—”

“Really!” Elian held his hands up, backing away from the wolf slowly, his head lowered, “you weren’t waking up. Neither was Kaelen. Something’s wrong.”

Ronan blinked a few times, his heavy head swinging towards Kaelen, the murkiness of sleep finally clearing as he saw Kaelen grunt and push himself up, rubbing irritably at his leg.

His nose flared once. Then twice. His gaze snapped to the tree.

“Where’s Selena?” his growl shook the very earth.

“I don’t know,” said Elian, running his hands through his hair, “I don’t know, I just got here! You were both asleep, and she was gone, and I can’t smell her…”

Kaelen rubbed his eyes, shaking his head, his face twisted into a snarl, “Elian, did you fucking enchant us to fall asleep?”

“What, no!”

“Are you sure? This sure feels like the aftereffects of magic.”

Comprehension dawned on Elian, sinking like a stone in his stomach, ice crawling down his back. “Could it have been Selena?”

Kaelen was regaining clarity now, too, fury and pure panic replacing his confusion. “Where the fuck is she? Could she have gone into the woods?”

Ronan was off like an arrow from a bow, speeding through the trees, circling the clearing with no attempts at subtlety. When he thundered back, eyes wild, Elian’s heart wrenched. He already knew without Ronan saying anything.

It was as if she had disappeared.

With a snarl, his shadows exploded from his, racing through the clearing, searching for any sign of Selena’s latent magic. The only threads he could find were from the sleep magics cast over Kaelen and Ronan themselves.

“It was her,” he choked out. “She sent you to sleep, her magic is all over you.”

Kaelen shook his head, his fists clenching, his eyes wild, “No, no, it couldn’t have been her. She wouldn’t have done that. She couldn’t have!”

“Actually, she could,” replied Elian, cursing every lesson he had given her, every trick he had taught her. “And she could have concealed herself, her scent. She did this. She left us.”

The words struck Ronan and Kaelen like fire, and they both stood unmoving for a few moments, unable to process his words, the devastation clear on their faces.

“Can you track her?” Kaelen’s voice was strangled, and Elian didn’t know who he was talking to.

He exchanged a glance with Ronan, “Not if she’s concealing her scent,” Ronan said.

“The same goes for her magic,” replied Elian, thinking through the thousand possibilities.

Kaelen took a breath, then another. Then another. His shoulders were shaking. “Where would she go?”

“She was researching her father,” Elian said, pacing the grass, his shadows lashing around him, “for months. Trying to make sense of the dreams she was having.”

“I thought you decided that those dreams were only manifestations of her magic?” Kaelen said, his voice rising with accusation.

“That’s what I thought, but…but what if it’s something else?”

“What else could it be?” Ronan growled, his tail thrashing, his lips peeled back over his teeth.

Elian stopped, the air catching in the back of his throat, dread exploding through him.

It couldn’t be. Surely not, surely he wouldn’t have missed the signs?

But everything fell into place, everything made a sickening sort of sense.

“I think it’s time I told you where I’ve been going. What I’ve been doing.”

The answering snarls drew him short, and he looked between Kaelen and Ronan, their furious expressions, their spiking scents. It was the first time he’d seen them united on anything in months.

He’d have to tread carefully.

“I’d like to preface this by saying I wanted to present this to Selena once I knew it was actually a possibility,” he said slowly. “As it stands, I’m still not entirely sure. I haven’t been able to…confirm my theory. I still need to do more research, consult a few more ancient texts—”

“Quit stalling, Benellane,” Ronan growled.

Elian raised his hands, “Okay, okay. We’ve all been working towards unifying the Realm, right? And we assumed that the Forest God’s magic was enough to achieve that goal. But if the past few months have shown anything, it’s that the Realm is more divided than ever. The Forest God has been gone a long time, and people have lost respect for what it means to be ruled by one. Selena’s power, vast as it is, simply didn’t seem enough if she couldn’t control it.”

Kaelen nodded, but his eyes remained hard. Elian gulped.

“When the humans had the crown, when Damien and Phaendar captured Selena with the intent of stealing her magic from her, it gave me an idea. What if we could take the power from another god, one altogether a little bit more…terrifying than the Forest God.”

Understanding dawned on Kaelen’s face, his mouth falling open. “Elian, tell me you weren’t thinking…”

“It was just an idea!” Elian said, “I would never have done it without the pack’s consent. The reason I didn’t tell you was because I still don’t know if it would be possible!”

“If what would be possible?” Ronan growled.

“Elian wanted to find Theldir and steal his magic,” Kaelen ground out. “It continues to amaze me Benellane, how much of a fucking idiot you are—”

“What does this have to do with where Selena is?” Ronan said, his claws scraping through the mud.

Elian swallowed, his hands shaking, “Two days ago, I broke into the archives of the Palace of Embers.”

“ What!? ”

“Easy,” Elian held his hands up. “You have quite a few members of the Order of Theldir operating in there, Kaelen, might want to tighten up security. But that’s irrelevant. I was specifically researching the powers and abilities of gods so that we might know what to expect if Selena ever decided to pursue it as an option.”

“Fuck,” Kaelen said, his face growing pale, “ Fuck ! You don’t think…”

Elian nodded, his heart pounding in his chest, “One ancient account of Theldir talked mostly about his powers over fire and death. But it also mentioned something else.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck !” Kaelen roared.

Ronan growled, his eyes flicking between them. Elian turned to him.

“Theldir is a Dreamwalker.”