Page 15 of Over the Moon (Rosewood River #3)

eleven

. . .

Clark

Rafe

Holy shitballs. Pun intended.

Easton

Is there an explanation coming? Or we just have to guess what you’re talking about?

Rafe

Lulu ordered us a new toilet for our bathroom. It has all sorts of bells and whistles, starting with a heated seat.

Axel

It’s August. Do you really need your ass heated when you take a dump?

Rafe

Dude, come over and sit on this seat. Having your ass receive a warm welcome when you show up to drop the kids off at the pool, so to speak, is as good as it gets.

Easton

Did you just compare your future kids to a turd?

You’re fucking kidding me. Can’t Lulu just smack that ass and make it burn?

Archer

I’m sure she has. She does love to cause our boy some pain.

I barked out a laugh, because when my brother first met Lulu, they had several physical altercations, and he was slightly terrified of her.

Or so he claimed .

Bridger

Are we talking about the shitter?

Correct. Rafe likes his buns toasty.

Bridger

This is two minutes of my life I can never get back.

Rafe

The heated seat isn’t even the best part.

Archer

I’m barely able to take a shit without Melody barreling into the bathroom to ask me for something. So please, tell me about your magical shitter.

Rafe

Buckle up, assholes. There are features you can’t even imagine.

Easton

We’re waiting with bated breath.

I’ve never understood that saying.

Bridger

Because it’s dumb.

Easton

There are no dumb answers. This is a safe space.

Axel

Did you shit glitter this morning, Rafe?

Rafe

There are water features. It has this little sprayer that cleans you up, and somehow, the aim is perfection. Like it just knows where you need it to go. And it shows the fuck up. Every. Single. Time.

Bridger

Are we talking about hosing your asshole?

Archer

Sounds like a car wash. You just pull up, and it gets the job done.

Rafe

All joking aside, it cleans the entire area, and then get this…

Easton

Did he just leave us hanging?

Maybe he’s having a moment with the toilet.

Rafe

Sorry, Lulu was asking me about the settings on the new toilet.

Bridger

That must be a riveting conversation.

Axel

Are you going to finish your toilet bragging? I need to get back to work.

Rafe

There’s a blower.

Axel

Your toilet gives blowjobs? Sign me the fuck up.

Archer

I’m ordering a toilet for every room in the house as we speak.

I haven’t had sex in a few months. I’ll be right over to borrow your shitter.

Bridger

I’m not getting my dick sucked by a toilet. I don’t care how magical it is.

Rafe

For fuck’s sake. It’s a blow dryer. Not a blowjob, you filthy animals.

Axel

Damn. I was on my way over, but this changes things.

Agreed. Who wants to have their ass blow-dried?

Bridger

The same dude who wanted it washed while he sat on a seat that cooked his ass.

Rafe

I’m telling you, it’s the best thing I’ve tried since shaving my balls.

Bridger

Make it stop.

Don’t be a hater. I keep my balls groomed, as well.

Easton

Does the toilet shave your balls?

Rafe

No, asshole. Lulu does it.

Bridger

I’m out. I can’t do this.

Archer

Who shaves Clark’s balls?

I do them myself. They are much more attractive when you clean them up.

Archer

I’m just a dude who wants to take a shit alone. Shaving my balls is not in the cards until Melody is in school full-time.

Rafe

If you had a nanny that wasn’t a hundred and seven years old, she could watch your daughter while you shave your balls.

Archer

Go clean your asshole, asshole.

Easton

Did we gloss over the fact that Clark said he hasn’t had sex in months?

Axel

I believe we “blew” right past that tidbit when we thought Rafe was getting a blowie from his toilet.

It’s not a big deal. Just a dry spell.

Bridger

I disagree.

I thought you tapped out of this conversation.

Bridger

I’m done talking about Rafe’s asshole.

Rafe

Let me ask you… does it have something to do with the fact that you’re always with your coach’s daughter?

Easton

I believe it does.

Or the fact that I’m working out five to six hours a day and I’m fucking exhausted.

Bridger

Something going on there, brother?

I mean, we spend a lot of time together. But she won’t go there. It’s a professional thing.

Bridger

You’re a hockey star. Go find someone else.

I tried.

Easton

And there it is. He likes her.

Axel

I think that’s obvious. Did you see them at pickleball last night?

Archer

What happened at pickleball? I wasn’t there.

Rafe

He just gapes at her the whole time like a lovesick puppy.

Bridger

It’s uncomfortable to watch.

Fuck off.

Easton

I didn’t even notice. I just noticed her and Lulu dominating on the courts last night. So I prefer that Rafe and Clark just gape at their girls and let them work their magic.

Eloise Gable is not my girl. She doesn’t see me that way.

Rafe

She definitely likes you. I know these things.

Bridger

What is this conversation? I’d rather discuss the shitter again.

Don’t be an asshole.

Bridger

Then stop being a weak fucker. You like her. Do something about it.

Archer

You did score the winning goal at the Stanley Cup. This shouldn’t be that hard.

Rafe

Come over and sit on my toilet, get a deep clean, and decide how to get the girl.

Axel

How did you ever get a girl like Lulu?

It must be his shaved balls.

Easton

Or maybe it’s his pristine asshole.

Bridger

I’ve reached my capacity for ridiculous conversations.

I’ve got to get to the ice rink. See you at Sunday dinner.

Several more texts came through, calling me a pussy and telling me to man up, but I tucked my phone into my gym bag and made my way out to the kitchen.

The notebook we wrote in every day was sitting on the counter. I didn’t see her leave it this morning. She must have done it on her way out the door after our workout today.

She’d gone home to shower and do some errands, and I’d crashed for a few hours from pure exhaustion.

I opened the notebook and read our last few notes to one another from yesterday and today.

Weeze,

I’d like to request another pull-up competition. Happy to give you a hand when your arms get tired.

XX,

CC

I’ve fucked my hand in the shower more times than I could count since that little mishap. Her legs straddling my neck as I breathed her in.

Eloise Gable was equal parts sweet and sexy.

And I’d never been more attracted to a woman in my life.

Especially one who was determined to keep her distance.

We spent a lot of time together.

We formed a friendship.

We talked when we weren’t together.

She came to Sunday dinners now, but always with Lulu and Henley. She’d talk to me, but she made it known that she was there as their guest.

My family loved her.

Hell, I was crazy about her.

This was uncharted territory for me.

Wanting a woman who didn’t want me back?

I’ve never been in this situation.

I understood her hesitation as far as our jobs, but we weren’t even in the city right now. Why overthink it?

I was all about having a good time.

No strings, no pressure.

The bigger issue is that I was uncomfortable. It had been a while, and I didn’t want anyone else.

I’d gone to Booze and Brews with Axel and Bridger last week, and we received our fair share of attention from the women there.

Some that I’d had a good time with in the past.

But I couldn’t fucking do it.

Maybe my body was just exhausted from the workouts, I didn’t know.

But I knew that my hand was not going to keep me satisfied.

I was a man who enjoyed spending time with a beautiful woman, making her laugh, and having a good time, and obviously, I appreciated good sex.

I prided myself on always pleasing my lady, and I was very honest and upfront about the expectations of what I had to offer beforehand.

I wasn’t a guy who promised things he didn’t have to give. And I knew that I had not time nor room in my life for anything more than a casual relationship at this point in my life.

My first love had always been hockey.

Sex was a close second.

But lately, I was off my game. Maybe it had something to do with coming off such a great season, that it had me questioning the rest of the areas of my life.

I’d accomplished what I’d always hoped for professionally.

But it almost felt like there was something missing, and I didn’t know what that meant.

I quickly read through the rest of the notes.

Chadwick,

Get your mind out of the gutter. I just needed a place to rest while I regained my strength to finish the competition. That was a professional straddle.

Weeze

P.S. That was an impressive workout yesterday. Ice everything that hurts, and be ready to go again tomorrow.

Weeze,

Everything that hurts? That might be uncomfortable.

Thanks for pushing me today. Tomorrow, we hit the ice again, and then Sunday is an off day. Will you be at Sunday dinner?

XX,

CC

Chadwick,

Yes, today, we get to skate. You can open up and do your thing. I’ll be watching from the sidelines because I trust you won’t do anything stupid. And yes, Hen and Lu said I need to come to Sunday dinner because apparently, your mom makes the best lasagna. Is there anything that woman can’t do?

XX,

Weeze

Weeze,

Good morning. I’m sure you’re going to torture me today, being a Saturday and all.

It’s your thing. And I look forward to doing many stupid things in your presence.

But I think you like watching me on the ice.

And yes, her lasagna is the best and she’s amazing at all the things. Glad you’re coming. Pun intended.

XX,

CC

Chadwick,

You have a one-track mind. Not giving that a response. Great workout today. See you at the rink this afternoon. And for the record, yes, I do like watching you on the ice. It’s pretty magical. Don’t get a big head. Maybe I just like hockey. LOL.

XX,

Weeze

I chuckled like a goddamn schoolgirl. And why? Because she liked watching me skate. Hell, most females liked watching hockey players on the ice. It didn’t mean anything, and she’d made that clear.

I grabbed my keys and climbed into my truck, driving the short distance to the ice rink.

When I pulled up, I hopped out of my truck and jogged up the walkway. When I opened the door, my hands fisted at my sides.

Brett Lewis was standing there, talking to Eloise. He had his arm up resting on the wall above her, almost like he was caging her in.

The conversation looked intense.

And Eloise didn’t look uncomfortable at all.

Brett fucking Lewis of all people.

Maybe she liked that fucker. Even though she knew I couldn’t stand the dude.

It felt like a punch to the gut, which made no sense, because she owed me nothing.

We were friends.

Professional friends.

And as much as I teased her about it, flirting and going back and forth with her—she’d just showed me her hand.

She did not see me that way.

Because if she did, she wouldn’t be getting cozy with my nemesis.

It was time to pull my head out of my ass.

Eloise Gable did not want me.

Not the way that I wanted her.

Maybe it was time I got the message.