Page 25

25

ASHER

I tossed my jacket on the hook at work and pulled on my coveralls just as Wyatt came around the corner, staring at me like I’d lost my mind.

“Sorry, I’m late.”

“Late? What the hell are you doing here? Your girlfriend was attacked yesterday. Take the fucking day off.”

I shook my head, zipping up the coveralls. “Not necessary.”

He snorted, grinning at me like I’d lost my mind. Maybe I had. “Are you fucking serious? Go home. I’m sure you’d rather be there, anyway. We can handle things here.”

I stayed silent, walking over to grab a cup of coffee. I desperately needed it after being up all night at Holly’s. I couldn’t stay in the house with her, but I couldn’t bring myself to leave either. So, I sat outside her house and kept watch from my truck. I was fucking exhausted.

“Asher, I said go home.”

I strode past him and he grabbed my arm, stopping me before I could walk out to the garage.

“What’s going on?”

I shrugged, not saying a word.

“Fuck,” he sighed. “What the hell happened?”

I sighed, taking a step back. I really didn’t want to talk about this, but Wyatt was the closest thing to a friend I had. “She had questions about my past because of how I attacked the asshole who put his hands on her.”

“And you didn’t want to answer those questions,” he surmised.

I shook my head. “It’s in the past. I left that life behind.”

“Did you really?”

My eyes snapped to his. “I did. Everything about the man I used to be is gone.”

“Except when he came out yesterday.”

I ground my teeth and nodded.

“So, what are you gonna do?”

I had no fucking idea. “What she wants…I left that part of me behind for a reason.”

“But is it a good reason?”

I thought about Jade, how my actions had helped lead to her death. Did I cause her to die? No, but that life—that sort of recklessness had played a part. By playing the game with Rafe, I had set myself on a path of destruction, and I never wanted to go back there.

“I don’t know anymore. I just want to leave it behind.”

“Why can’t you leave it behind with her?”

“Because…because she would be connected to it then.”

“Tainted by association,” he nodded.

“Right now, she knows nothing about me during that time. We’re in this bubble of this new life. And if I tell her, my worlds collide and…it’ll be dirty. She’ll see the real me—the one I’ve been trying so desperately to leave behind.”

He clapped me on the shoulder with a sigh. “Asher, the old you can’t be that bad. I think you give yourself too much credit as some kind of demon. But if that were true, you wouldn’t be able to redeem yourself and be the man you are now. No one can turn around that much. You can’t just become a new person.”

But I had. I was nothing like I used to be. Not really.

“There had to be something good about you before. I have to believe that.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t hire assholes. Well, Grady might be the exception, but he’s the exception for a reason.”

I huffed out a laugh, shaking my head at him. “I don’t know what the hell to do.”

“Are you really willing to lose her over this?”

“She probably won’t want me when she finds out the truth.”

“Maybe, but you haven’t given her the chance to prove you wrong.” He snatched the coffee mug out of my hand and took a long drink. “Go home. You’re not working today. You look like shit. And I mean that in the worst way possible.”

“You’re so kind.”

“Well, that’s why I’m the boss.” He backed up a step and raised my mug in the air. “You know, I’m glad this happened.”

“My misery?”

“No, you fucking this up. It was disgusting to see you being so fucking perfect.”

“Well, the bubble was bound to pop sooner or later,” I huffed.

“You took a needle to it at the perfect time,” he chuckled. “Go home. Take a few days off and fix what you fucked up. And get some sleep. You’ll do me no good if you fall asleep on an engine block.”

I did need the sleep, but where the hell I was supposed to do that, I didn’t know. I considered going home, but the thought of being that far away from Holly just didn’t sit right with me. Twenty minutes later, I was in front of her house with an alarm set on my phone to wake me up around noon. Then I closed my eyes and finally let sleep take over.

I jerked awake after what felt like only fifteen minutes. At first, I wasn’t sure what woke me up, but then I heard the soft knocking again, and turned to find Holly outside my window.

“What are you doing outside?” I asked after rolling down the window.

“I could ask you the same thing.”

Her face looked even worse today. When I checked on her this morning, it didn’t look this bad, but that was in the dark of her bedroom where I could pretend it was shadows I was seeing on her face. Out here in the light of day, it was clear just how bad the bruising was. She was damn lucky that asshole hadn’t broken her cheekbone.

I moved without thinking, shoving open my door and nearly knocking her over. I hadn’t meant to be so rough, but she was out here in the cold when she should be inside resting. I scooped her up in my arms, ignoring her protests as I stomped up to her house, determined to get her back inside where it was safe.

“Asher, stop! What the hell are you doing?” she shouted, pounding her tiny fists into me.

But I didn’t stop. Not until I had her on the couch and tucked in with a blanket. “You need to stay here and rest,” I ordered, stalking over to the kitchen to grab an ice pack.

“And who do you think you are to tell me what I can and can’t do?”

I spun around and there she was, not on the couch where I left her, but right in front of me, hand on her hip and just as damn beautiful despite the beating she’d taken. “I’m?—”

“You’re what? You left!”

Fuck, I was so angry, but not at her. I was pissed at myself. For putting her through this when she was already in pain. She didn’t deserve this shit. She was Holly—so clean and pure and innocent. I was tarnished by the things I had seen and done in my life. I didn’t want any of that touching her. And if I told her, it would all taint her.

“Asher—”

“I’ll go.” I stalked past her, forgetting about the damn ice pack and what I came in here to do in the first place.

“Asher, stop right now!”

“I’m sorry I came here.”

“Asher Stone, you will stop right now!”

“Lock the door behind me.”

“I said—oh!”

I paused, then heard a thump and spun around. Holly was on the ground, passed out. Shit. I ran over to her, my heart racing as I knelt beside her. Fuck, fuck, fuck. “Holly, baby. Open your eyes, sweetheart. Come on. Open your eyes and tell me you’re okay.”

I patted her good cheek, terrified when she didn’t respond. She just laid there, limp and lifeless. What the hell happened? She was fine and now she was passed out on the ground. I shouldn’t have argued with her. I shouldn’t have been such a fucking asshole.

“Holly! Come on, baby. I’m sorry, okay? I won’t leave. I promise. I’ll be right here. I won’t ever leave. Just come back to me, okay?” I swallowed hard. “Please, baby.”

Her eyes flew open and she grinned. “You swear?”

I jerked back in shock. “What?”

She pushed up, wincing as I helped her gingerly sit upright. “All of that not ever leaving. You swear?”

“You…you faked it?”

“Well, you were going to walk out the door.”

“Jesus!” I shoved to my feet and spun away, my heart still racing a million miles a minute. “What the fuck?” I shouted.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures, Asher.”

I spun around and cursed as she struggled to get to her feet. Stomping over, I helped her up. “So, you purposely fell, knowing you could injure yourself even more, just to get my attention?”

“Well, how else was I supposed to stop you from walking out that door, you big brute?”

My jaw dropped as I stared at her. She’d never been so forceful with me before. In fact, she was always so sweet. I’d never seen her like this.

“Yeah, I got your attention now.”

“Holly—”

“No, we are going to sit down and discuss our issues like adults. You are not going to sleep out in your truck or slip into my house when I’m sleeping. I already spent the night without you and it sucked big monkey balls.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Big monkey balls?” My lips twitched for the first time in days.

“It’s a real thing.”

“I have no doubt it is.”

“Now…can we sit because that actually did hurt and I’d really like to not be on my feet anymore.”

I rushed over to her as she swayed slightly, gripping her hand as I lowered her to the couch. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

“You shouldn’t have tried to walk out on me again.”

I sighed heavily, taking the seat beside her. “I’m sorry.”

“You keep saying that.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and turned to face her. I didn’t know where we went from here. Everything was so screwed up. “Holly, I don’t know if I can give you what you need.”

“I know,” she said softly. “And I don’t know if I can accept never knowing.”

I nodded, figuring she would say that. “So, where do we go from here?”

“To bed.”

My brows furrowed in confusion. “Um…what?”

Her lip quivered and tears filled her eyes. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go to sleep. I’m tired and my body hurts, and I just want you to hold me. I’ve had a really shitty couple of days. I don’t want to think about any of this.”

“That’s not going to solve anything,” I reminded her.

“I know, and I know our problems will still be here in a month or three months or six months…whenever we decide to discuss this again. I just know I can’t deal with it right now. I thought I needed to know, but it turns out there’s just too much other shit going on to think about one more thing. And I really can’t deal with you leaving right now. Maybe that’s selfish of me, but?—”

I didn’t give her a chance to say anything else. My lips were on hers before she could get another word out. I didn’t care what happened six months from now. Right now, I had a reprieve and didn’t have to think about what might happen, and that was going to have to be good enough.

She whimpered as my hand gripped her arm and I immediately backed off, cursing myself for not protecting her. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine,” she mumbled, burying her face in my chest. She sighed heavily. “Take me to bed, Asher. I need you.”

“No funny business. You’re injured.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“That’s what you think,” I chuckled, scooping her up into my arms. I cradled her body to mine, grateful that I had this time, even if it only lasted for a few more months. She was mine for however long she chose to ignore my past, and I would cherish every minute of it.

I tucked her in bed and laid behind her, wrapping my body gently around hers. “I love you, baby.”

She interlocked her fingers with mine and squeezed. “I love you, too. More than you could ever know.”

I buried my face in her hair and inhaled deeply. I knew exactly how much she loved me. I could feel it with every touch and every kiss. That’s why I was clinging to her so tightly. I never wanted to let her go, and I was terrified for the day that I might have to.