Page 31 of Out of Time (Undaunted Courage #3)

SEVENTEEN

PAUL TOOK A STEADYING brEATH as he ascended the steps to Natalie’s galérie.

This was the last place he wanted to be late on a Sunday afternoon, and the task ahead was the last thing he wanted to do.

But this was the only way forward.

And since there were no cars parked in front of Natalie’s house, suggesting her cousin had left after his weekend visit and the professor wasn’t yet back from Cape, he couldn’t ask for a more ideal window to get the job done.

Mustering every ounce of grit he could dredge up, he leaned forward and pressed the bell.

Three minutes later, the front door swung open.

“Paul!” Natalie’s eyebrows rose, and her lips tipped up in welcome. “What a lovely surprise. Come in.” She stepped back and pulled the door wide.

“I hope I’m not interrupting anything.” He crossed the threshold on stiff legs and moved into the foyer.

“Not at all. Steven’s gone back to St. Louis and I had an early dinner. My activities for the remainder of the day consist of reading and crocheting. I’d welcome a bit of conversation.” She motioned toward the living room. “Have a seat. May I offer you a cup of tea?”

“No, thank you. I can’t stay long.”

She followed him in and claimed a chair while he perched on the edge of the couch. “What brings you out to my neck of the woods? Were you at the historical society?”

His heart began to pound.

This was it.

Sweat broke out on his upper lip as a sudden barrage of doubts assailed him.

Maybe he should change course. It wasn’t too late. He could come up with some excuse for this visit, chat for a few minutes about inconsequential matters, and walk out the door.

Because what he was about to do was risky, and once he stepped over the line, there was no going back. If he made a mistake, it could come back to haunt him—and Dan—forever.

“Paul?” Natalie leaned forward, brow bunching. “You seem quite distressed.”

Not surprising, given the churning in his stomach.

“I am.” He twisted his fingers together.

Just do it, Coleman. Get the distasteful task over with. If you ever want to have a decent night’s sleep again, you know you have to fix this problem.

“Is Becky all right?”

“Yes.”

“And Dan?”

That was his opening.

Paul wiped a hand down his face and tried to fill his lungs, but they refused to inflate.

“Heavens, Paul, are you ill?” Natalie touched his arm, alarm tightening her features.

Yes, he was, but it wasn’t a physical ailment.

This sickness was in his heart.

And there was only one remedy for that.

He had to follow through on his plan.

“I’m not ill, Natalie. Not in the way you mean. But I do have ... I have a confession to make.”

“A confession?” Her eyebrows peaked again. “What sort of confession?”

Much as he wanted to look away, he forced himself to maintain eye contact. “The fire in your kitchen was my fault.”

Shock flattened her features. “What are you talking about?”

“I started it—but I didn’t mean for it to get out of control. That was never my intent.”

A few beats ticked by as she stared at him. “I’m sorry. This isn’t making sense. The fire didn’t start until after you were gone.”

“I know, but I burned that potholder on purpose when I went to the kitchen to get some extra napkins after I spilled my tea. I put it in the trash with embers still glowing, expecting it to catch fire fast. I knew the detector in the kitchen would go off at the first hint of smoke, and I was going to help you put the fire out. I didn’t think it would cause any real damage, since it was contained in the trash can.

When nothing happened, I assumed the embers had been snuffed out.

I had no idea there were any active sparks that would ignite later.

The odds of combustion after such a long delay have to be minuscule. ”

Her face was a study in bewilderment. “But ... I don’t understand. Why would you do such a thing?”

“I hoped it might add weight to my argument that Marie’s journals would be safer with me.”

She blinked. “You did all that just to protect the journals?”

Untwisting his fingers, he flexed his blanched knuckles and dipped his chin. “There was more to it than that.”

“I’d like to hear about it.”

“It has to do with Dan.”

“Go on.” Her voice was steady.

“You know how dirty politics is these days. I was afraid there would be information in the journals that could be used to smear the Coleman name.”

“What kind of information?”

Paul swallowed. “You know there were rumors about Marie’s death.”

“Yes. I also know my father never believed the accidental ruling was accurate. Do you have information to suggest it was more than that?”

“Nothing concrete. Only family lore that was passed down to me by my father. The story was that my grandfather, who was also in politics, had a long-running affair with a local woman whenever he was in town. My father heard his parents arguing about it once. After Marie died in such a tragic way, my father overheard another row between his parents. According to him, my grandfather denied having anything to do with her death, but my father wasn’t certain my grandmother ever believed that.

They stayed together for propriety’s sake, but their marriage was over except in name. ”

“Was any of this shared with the authorities at the time?”

“Not that I know of. I first heard the story a few years ago, while my father was in his final days in hospice, and he didn’t offer anything more than what I’ve told you.

But there may be clues in Marie’s journals that would implicate my grandfather in her death.

If that information is shared with the wrong people, it could be used to smear the family name.

I don’t care for myself, but Dan doesn’t deserve to have his career ruined by the misdeeds of long-dead relatives.

He’s worked hard all his life, and he’ll be a fine congressman.

I did what I did to protect him, but in hindsight I realize I made bad choices. ”

Natalie took a deep breath. Leaned back in her chair. Studied him. “Does Dan know about any of this? Or Becky?”

“Not yet. I went to see Father Johnson before I came here, and we had a long talk about the situation. I do plan to tell Becky tonight.” He massaged the bridge of his nose.

“I’m here to ask your forgiveness for the fire and for my attempts to convince you to give me the journals.

Instead of taking matters into my own hands, I should have asked you and the professor to keep any damaging information confidential. ”

“And I would have. You know me well enough, Paul, to know I would never share personal information with anyone. I feel confident you can trust Cara too. She’s a woman of integrity, discretion, and high standards.”

There was no recrimination in her tone, but the truth of her response stung nonetheless. He should have trusted her.

What a fool he’d been.

“I’m sorry, Natalie. For everything I did, and for ruining a friendship I’ve cherished.

” He stared at the carpet beneath his feet, fighting to get the words past the constriction in his throat.

“If you want me to call the sheriff and turn myself in for the fire, I will. I’ll also pay the cost of any damages.

I’ll do whatever it takes to make amends.

All I ask is that you give me this evening to talk with Becky. ”

Five seconds ticked by.

Ten.

Fifteen.

Finally, he looked up.

At the compassion softening Natalie’s features, his pulse stuttered.

Where was the righteous anger? The indignation? The disgust?

“I’m not going to press charges, Paul.”

His jaw dropped. “Why not?”

“It took a lot of courage for you to come here tonight and admit your guilt, to tell me about your family history, and I don’t believe in punishing people who have sincere remorse and the courage to acknowledge culpability.

I also understand that what you did was motivated by love for your son.

Your attempt to protect him was admirable, if ill-advised. ”

At her gracious generosity, his vision blurred.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.” Somehow he choked out the words as he extended a shaky hand. “But I’ll be forever grateful.”

She clasped his fingers and squeezed before releasing them. “I’ll talk to Cara about the journals. I believe you’ll be able to count on both of us to be extra cautious in our use of the contents. And I’ll keep you informed about any information we find that may be pertinent to your family history.”

“I’d appreciate that.” He stood. “May I take a raincheck on the tea you offered earlier?”

“You may indeed. Anytime.” She rose and gripped her cane. “I’ll walk you out.”

He followed her to the door. “I wish I could do more than say thank you.”

“You could give me a hug. I don’t believe you’ve ever done that.” She held out her arms.

Without hesitation, he stepped into them. “I’m always happy to dispense hugs.”

“I’ll remember that in the future.” After a moment, she released him, the kindness in her eyes a balm to his soul.

“We’ve been friends for many years, Paul.

I don’t want to lose that. I don’t condone what you did, but I respect that you came forward to confess.

And I believe in living Ephesians 4:32. Drive safe going home. ”

“I will.” He lifted a hand and returned to his car as an older-model Accord appeared in the distance on the drive.

The professor was back.

Hopefully she was as circumspect and honorable as Natalie believed.

But this was in God’s hands now. He was done trying to orchestrate outcomes. If he’d ever wondered whether he was cut out for subterfuge, this experience had given him his answer.

A resounding no.

And as he crunched down the driveway, waving at Cara when they passed, he gave thanks for Natalie’s kindness and forgiveness.

Then he added a silent prayer that whatever she and Cara found in Marie’s journals would provide answers to a long-standing mystery and allow both families to close the door on that page of ancestral history.