Page 16

Sixteen

Hailey

“Colt?” I asked again into the darkness.

“Uh-huh?”

I enjoyed the roughness of his warm, large body under my hand, and was afraid he would pull away after my next question.

“Why did we never really talk again after the day we met?”

He sighed. Good job, Hailey, now he’s annoyed .

“It’s kind of complicated.”

“Oh, I see. It’s all right, you don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”

Why should he? He’s been keeping his distance for years. What the hell did I expect, him to spill his guts just because I touched his dick? I knew better. Colt’s walls were damn thick. I wasn’t going to knock them down overnight, which was okay. My curiosity had simply gotten the better of me.

The cloak of darkness shrouding us had given me the confidence to ask. It had been floating around in my head for years, and I was desperate for an answer.

Somehow, I thought that the relative anonymity and privacy that the shadows created would make him feel less exposed and provide enough comfort to share something with me that he would normally keep to himself. I suppose I’d hoped he would be less on guard.

Colt grunted but didn’t push me away. I took that as a good sign.

“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s what it says about me.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

He let out a soft, almost bitter laugh. “It means I’m not exactly proud of it, so no, I’m not jumping to tell you.”

Oh, God. My mind raced. Had I missed something? Had he been hung up on someone else all along, and I was just too blind to see it? I inhaled slowly, trying to calm the pit growing in my stomach.

“That still doesn’t really clear things up for me,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“I know … High school wasn’t really fun for me. I think you probably noticed that. But the bigger problem was my own fucking head. I spent years beating myself up and holding myself back, telling myself I didn’t deserve this or that. Somehow, I convinced myself that being associated with me would cause you hard times,” he said matter-of-factly. My heart broke for him with every word he uttered into the darkness. It was like a punch to the chest, but I knew he didn’t want my pity.

“You know this is bullshit, right?” I traced figure eights on his chest with my fingers. His chest wasn’t smooth, as a smattering of trimmed hairs covered his pecs.

“Yeah. I know.” He sighed wistfully. “I’d take it back if I could. I just wasn’t in the right place then. I’m sorry.”

“So—” I took a deep breath, nerves sitting like a heavy lump in my stomach. “So it wasn’t that you just didn’t want to talk to me? I thought … well, I kind of thought we’d clicked, and it fucked with my head a bit.”

A heavy arm wrapped around me, and he pressed me against him. “That’s the last thing I wanted. Honestly, I told myself you wouldn’t care, and you’d be better off this way anyway.”

“I did care. And I wasn’t. God, I wish I’d had the lady balls to ask you about it sooner.”

His thumb brushed gently across my upper arm. “Don’t blame yourself for something I fucked up. This is entirely on me.”

Silence fell over us, and I slowly drifted off, lulled by Colt’s warmth and caressing touch.

Before I slipped away, he murmured, “For the record, I always want to talk to you. Anywhere, anytime. And we did click.”

***

The next morning, I woke up to several messages from Ella on my phone and a handwritten note from Colt on the nightstand. He was just too adorable.

I picked up the lined, folded piece of paper.

Had to leave for practice, but you looked so peaceful. Take whatever you need. Hope to see you soon, Princess.

The messages on my phone were of a different nature.

Ella: Yo, are you coming home today?

Ella: I guess not.

Ella: Get it, girl.

Ella: I hope he goes down on you, he seems like the type.

Ella: In that case, have fun.

Ella: See you tomorrow!

I snorted. She was outrageous — but I kind of loved her for it.

Me: Just woke up. Be back soon.

I’d never had a friend to share intimate, personal things like this with, and somehow, it was exciting that another person was so invested in my “relationship” and happy for me. It was weird, yet I was thrilled.

This was what I thought friendships would be like in high school. Real friends are supposed to be excited and rooting for you. Ella was the perfect roommate for me, and we were starting to form a friendship. It felt like I was finally putting down the roots I had longed for.

Colt’s little note filled my chest with a fuzzy feeling. I could barely bring myself to roll out of his bed. His scent was all over the sheets, and I wanted to stay there forever.

Reluctantly, I finally got out of his bed, brushed my teeth with my finger, then threw my hair into a ponytail. My clothes were folded in a neat pile on his table, and my chest tightened at the thought of Colt taking the time to do this for me. As I was about to place the shirt that I had been wearing on the bed, I hesitated, seized by a sudden urge to keep a memento of this night with me, then tucked it under my arm and walked out of the quiet house. Surely, he wouldn’t miss it.

When I got back to my dorm, I found Ella on her bed with her legs in the air and a mischievous grin on her face.

“There she is.” She wiggled her eyebrows like a cartoon villain hatching a half-baked plan. “So, tell me, have you been nice or naughty? Or both?”

I groaned but couldn’t hold back a grin.

“You’re terrible.” I stared at her for a moment. Then I gave in. “And both, I’d say.”

“That’s my girl.” She squealed.

“Hell yeah.”

Ella laughed and sat up. I plopped down on my bed and sat cross-legged across from her. I wasn’t entirely sure if I could trust her, but I needed someone to talk to. My options were limited.

“Although, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really get it .”

Ella raised a dark-red eyebrow, the smattering of freckles across the bridge of her nose popping.

“I don’t know how to explain it to you.”

“Tell me whatever you feel comfortable with. Hailey, honey, I’m a bit of a lone wolf. I know what it’s like to keep things to myself. Hell, I play tennis because I could never deal with team sports — too much pressure putting my fate in someone else’s hands. Whatever you tell me will stay between us.”

“I’m still a virgin,” I blurted before I could stop myself.

Her pale-green eyes went wide as she stared at me, elbows braced on her knees.

“Wait, really?” She gaped for a second. “The way you and big daddy look at each other, I figured you were … ya know, all over it. ”

I snorted. “I wish I was.”

Her brow furrowed. “Okay, now I’m lost.”

I let out a dry laugh. “Yeah, it’s complicated. There are still some things I need to figure out, but Colt … Colt is incredible.”

Still unsure whether I could trust Ella to that extent, I chewed on my lip, but if I didn’t finally talk to someone about it, I would implode.

“Like what?”

“Like how to convince him to have a real relationship with me.”

“Real relationship? You’re already dating, though.”

“Nope.”

“Huh?” She blinked, looking genuinely lost. “One more time for the slow people in the back, please.”

“It’s fake,” I blurted.

Ella blinked twice in slow motion and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“It’s … fake ?” she repeated, dumbfounded. “But you … I mean, this is crazy stuff, dude. The whole thing looks pretty damn real to me.”

“Actually, I have you to thank for that.”

If she opened her eyes any wider, they would pop out of her head.

“Me?!”

“Yep. Remember when Colt first showed up? You thought he was my boyfriend, and that kind of set the whole thing in motion.”

“Holy crap! Wait, wait, wait — did I screw you over with that, or are we happy about it?”

“Oh no, definitely happy. Couldn’t have planned it better myself. ”

She raised an eyebrow, eyeing me with interest. “Sounds like you do a lot of planning.”

“Sometimes.”

“We’ll circle back to that. For now, I want to know how you pulled off the whole fake dating thing. I mean … What did Colt say? Did he just go along with it?”

I shook my head and launched into what happened with Knox and how I pitched the fake dating to Colt.

“So he said it would be convenient for him to get the jersey chasers off his back? But why’d you want it? I mean, you like him, right? Why not just, ya know … date him for real?”

“Because he’s been avoiding me for years. But I’m turning the fake into real. Trust me, if it were up to me, we’d have been together ages ago.”

“Why would he avoid you? You guys have chemistry that’s off the charts, and he looks at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. And like he wants to eat you up — in the best possible way.” A shit-eating grin played around her lips, and a blush crept up my cheeks at the memory of last night.

Yeah, I guess he does.

“That’s his story to tell. He had his reasons, and I understand, even though I wish it hadn’t been that way. He only showed up here to help me because his mother basically roped him into it. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what happened.”

“His mother? Tell me more, I’m invested now.” She quirked an eyebrow.

“You have no idea.” I didn’t want to reveal how fucked up I really was, but I told her about my conversation with Alicia and shared some tamer details of the things that happened during that vacation .

“Bitch, you’re crazy.” She stared at me for a moment, then flashed a mischievous grin. “I like it.”

A loud laugh broke out of me.

“Wait a minute … if this is fake, at least for now, then what happened last night?”

My cheeks burned, and I pursed my lips.

“Oh my God, something totally happened. Spill!”

“We may have ended up in his hot tub … Um, completely naked.”

“What the fuck! Hot. Did he go down on you since you’re still a virgin?”

I slapped my hands over my burning cheeks and nodded.

“It was a bit awkward at first, and I had to sort of draw him out of his shell, but then all of a sudden, he was a completely different person. He’s so fucking dirty … That mouth?!” I groaned. “I still don’t know how to wrap my head around it.”

“Good for you! He doesn’t really seem kinky at first glance, but still waters run deep. Shit, I need to get laid again.”

“It’s kind of fucked up, but I have this need to see how far that side of him will go.”

“Nothing fucked up about it. You’re both consenting adults, it’s perfectly normal to explore your sexuality. As long as you’re both on board, nothing is really off-limits. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s inappropriate.”

“Sounds like you speak from experience.” I narrowed my eyes on her.

Ella laughed dryly and twirled a strand of her hair, something I’d seen her do before when she was agitated or upset.

“You could say that.” She sighed and looked up at the ceiling, twisting the strand between her fingers, tying it into a knot, then releasing it again. “My tastes are … different. Anything bu t vanilla. And growing up in a small town in the damn Bible Belt, that’s not exactly something that goes over well with the townsfolk. A little locker room talk from one or two guys I’d hooked up with, and I was the local Hester Prynne. I swear, they would have loved to slap the red A on me.”

She snorted disdainfully, tilted her chin up, and regarded me almost defiantly, as though she was bracing herself for my reaction, like she expected me to judge her the same way.

“Different people like different things.” I shrugged. “Pretty sure I’m into degradation and being a little submissive. Guess if things go well, we’ll find out more about that soon.”

She snorted. “So, what’s your plan?”

“Well, right now, I’m kind of winging it. The plan is, I don’t have a plan. I just have to somehow break through his walls and hope that he realizes he’d like me to be his real girlfriend.”

“From what I’ve seen so far, I’d say the odds are more than in your favor. I still can’t believe this is all fake. The sexual tension between you two is unparalleled. Five bucks says you’ll be a real couple before Thanksgiving.”

I giggled. “We’ll see.”

Ella checked her phone and then jumped up. “Oh shit, I have to be on the court in half an hour, gotta go.”

“Fuck, that’s gonna be a close one.” I grimaced.

I scrolled through my feed as she stuffed things into her tennis bag, threw on her workout clothes, and tied her hair into a high ponytail. Before rushing out of the room, she paused at the door.

“Hey, I just wanted to say … thanks for sharing this with me. I appreciate it, and I won’t betray your trust.”

She slipped through the door after I gave her a smile.

A warm, fuzzy feeling spread through my chest and coursed through my body. Shit, I was so fucking glad she was my roommate. I was finally getting a glimpse of what I’d always imagined real, genuine friendships would be like.