Page 18 of Our Unexpected Beginning (Club Surrender #4)

Julia

B uried in warm sheets, Julia woke to find Graham watching her in the darkness. The sheets felt smooth against her skin, though slightly wrinkled from their slumber. Graham’s hand rested lightly on Julia’s back, offering a sense of comfort and protection.

“Hey.” She smiled.

Graham bent down and kissed her softly. “G’morning.”

“I like waking up with you.” They’d enjoyed two weeks together since the accident and she was getting used to the idea that he was home for good.

“Me too.” He settled into the pillows and pulled her against his side. She picked up on his sullen mood.

“Hey,” Julia reached out and touched his cheek. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’, couldn’t sleep.” He shrugged.

“You know it’s not your fault too right?”

“It sure as hell doesn’t feel that way.” He admitted, unable to look her in the eyes.

“Graham.” She whispered, leaning in and brushing her lips against his. “Look at me.”

His eyes were filled with guilt and hurt. It pained her to see it.

“We aren’t responsible for someone else’s actions. You were clear months ago that you wanted nothing to do with this and they ignored that. It’s on him.”

“But I got you hurt. Because of me. It’s what it comes down to.

I’m scared, Jules.” His voice broke and he dug his hands into his hair.

“I’m scared Jules, I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to fuck this kid up and then I’m going to hurt you.

The thought of it, the mere fucking thought about hurting you or ruining this kid I can’t see straight.

I can’t breathe, and I’m scared all the time. ”

Julia sat up. “You’re scared of me ? Do you not want to do this?“ She looked everywhere but his eyes, not wanting to see the bitter truth. “My child won’t be raised as an obligation.” They should never feel as if they’re a burden. She knew that feeling too well.

She crossed her arms and cleared her throat. “I’m…I can do this on my own if this isn’t what you want. I can do this on my own if–.” Her vision blurred and Julia sniffled. “I don’t want someone who doesn’t want me– us –or what’s to come.”

“I know what I want.”

Julia swallowed thickly and whispered. “What do you want? ”

“This. It makes me scared as hell.” Graham ruffled his hair again. “I don’t want to be like my parents. And I sure as fuck don’t want to be like my sister. I’m afraid that’s all I know is how to be a fuck up.”

She was beginning to understand where his anxieties were coming from. They weren’t far from her own. “I don’t think your niece would appreciate hearing you talk about her uncle that way.”

Graham huffed and shook his head.

Julia scooted over towards him and wrapped her arms around his bicep.

“Hey.” She rested her head on his shoulder.

“Hey.”

“You are one of the kindest and most caring people I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing existence with. I see how you are with Sarah and the other kids when we all get together.”

“I think you’re being too nice.”

Jules narrowed her eyes and reached to the nightstand for her phone. Hitting her most used contact she connected the call.

“Hello?” Melody picked up.

“Hey, hey bestie. Is little nugget around?”

“Yeah? What’s up? Are you okay, do you need anything?”

“Just wanted to ask a question. We’re on a fact-finding mission.”

“ Okay well who am I to stop a mission.”

Julia could hear movement on the other line as Melody grabbed Sarah’s attention .

“Hi?”

“Hey Munchkin!”

“ Auntie Juju!”

“I was wondering if you could help me solve a puzzle. Do you think you can help?”

“Yeah!”

Julia looked at Graham as she spoke. “Okay, remember how we were talking about positive things?”

“ Yeah! It was ‘all the good stuff’ week at school!”

Graham kept his eyes on Julia, confusion written on his face. “Okay, when you think of UnkG, what do you think of first?”

“Ice cream for breakfast!!!”

“ HEY!” Melody shouted from the background. “ I warned him about that.”

“Shhhh, we won’t tell. What else?”

“He pops the pickle jars. Um, oh, sandcastles at the beach in the rain, and bedtime stories.” Sarah rattled off.

“Oh yeah?” Julia smiled at Graham smugly as they listened.

“Yes! UnkaG even makes funny voices.” The phone creaked in the toddler’s grip. Sarah’s breath was close to the speaker as she whispered. “Not ‘uposta tell about the spankin’ words.”

Graham’s eyes widened, and he snatched the phone away from Julia with a guilty grin. “Oh! Okay, kiddo!! I love you, I’ll see you tomorrow for painting!”

“Spanking words?” Julia asked, laughing at Graham’s flushed face. She wrapped her arms around his neck .

“Sometimes I forget and say bad words when we make up stories. You know, the one’s kids get spankings for.”

“Oh you adorable man.” She embraced the lighthearted reprieve in their serious conversation.

Julia was the first to break the silence. “We’re having a baby; I have no earthly clue as to where we’re going or what’s next. But, I do know one thing.”

“What’s that?”

“I want to do it with you.”

“I don’t want to only worship your body, Jules. You’re so much more than that. I want all the parts of you. Even the ones that you think are scary. I want all of it with you. With our baby.”

The corner of her mouth turned into a smile. She reached for Graham’s hand and placed it on her left side, under her ribs.

The baby kicked again and Graham’s eyes widened. “That’s beyond unbelievable.”

“I know. He’s been very active this week.” Julia looked up at Graham with certainty. “You love me in a way I’ve always wanted. I don’t feel worthy of it.”

“I do, you are, and you better get used to it.”

“How did you talk me into coming here tonight?” Julia didn’t want to be a spoil-sport. She hadn’ t been feeling her best the past few weeks and the comfort of home took over.

“Because you’ve hidden away and Mel and Lexi were going to have my hide if you didn’t show up.

” Graham pulled her jacket off revealing the outfit he’d set out for her.

A wraparound satin robe covered the cream colored babydoll with purple trim.

Sweats and Graham’s shirt’s have been her uniform as of late.

“Plus, your dominant has plans for you this evening, my beautiful girl.” He kissed her cheek, folded her jacket over his arm, and placed his palm on the small of her back.

“Dominant?” She questioned with a small smile.

Graham led her to the elevators and allowed her to step ahead of him. The doors hissed closed and he caged her in the back corner. He pressed his hands above her head and towered over her, only the swell of her belly keeping them apart.

“I heard you needed more, kitten?”

“Oh.” She blushed deeply, averting her eyes. “Yes, Sir.”

“Why didn’t you talk to me?”

Julia reached up and fondled the buttons to his navy shirt and focused on the woven S-pattern. “Because I am not the greatest communicator, and I’m still learning.”

“Fair enough.” He touched her cheek gently and she leaned into his touch.

“I know now I can come to you.”

“I didn’t mean to neglect your needs. However I can’t fulfill what I don’t know. I strive to be a good dominant, but I’ll never be a mindreader. ”

“Yes, Sir. I understand.”

“Good girl.”

He laced his fingers with hers and headed down to their usual spot in the upper play pit. Julia ignored the inquisitive looks from other women as they passed, her focus on getting into the booth and off her feet.

“Hey! Finally!” Lexi cheered.

“My big ass made it.” Julia was mostly teasing.

Graham’s hand met the curve of her ass sharply. “Hey!”

“We don’t talk like that, remember? Or do I call our niece and put you on the grill this time?”

“He got you there.” Melody handed Julia a bottle of water. “Someone is on a tirade today.”

“Hey, I’ll be right back.” He kissed her cheek. “Don’t go running off with any Daddies.”

“Okay.” Julia turned to Melody. “Why, what did you do?”

Melody clenched her teeth and grinned guiltily. “The playground with Penelope and Sarah.” Melody had aggravated an old injury and had been placed on light activity by her doctor.

“What happened to painting? Wes came over for supplies on Tuesday.”

“I couldn’t stay cooped up anymore!” Mel leaned against the plush bench cushions. “He said to meet him here and be hydrated.”

“It seems both men have things up their sleeves today.” Julia pointed out, drinking a quarter of her bottle down .

She noticed Melody staring with a goofy look on her face.

Julia shot her a questioning glance. “What’s that face for?”

“Jules. You can’t tell me you don’t see it?”

“See what? What am I looking for?”

“One of the things I love about the club is that there’s naked everywhere. But Graham, his eyes never leave you. You’re all he sees. I love that for you. You’re my best friend and seeing you happy is amazing.”

“I.” Her voice faltered and Julia tugged on her J necklace out of habit. Melody was right. Graham only had eyes for her and it made her heart flutter. He’d been true to his word and has proved time and time again that he was in it with her.

“Julia?”

She turned her attention to the call of her name and spotted Claudia approaching. Julia stood to greet her.

“Hey!” She smiled and leaned in for a hug. “It’s been a while.”

Julia hugged her quickly and laughed nervously. “Yeah, there’s been a few, um, developments.”

“I see that.” She gestured to Julia’s growing bump.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah. Things are good. I haven’t been here to play in a while.” Julia wrung her hands. “Hey, listen. I think that I owe–”

Claudia placed her hand on Julia’s forearm. “No. Stop.”

“But? ”

“You don’t. Owe anyone anything girly-pop.” She playfully popped her gum with a grin.

“I didn’t know until we were in it.” Julia admitted.

Claudia grinned, flashing her tongue ring. “So I was your ah-ha moment.”