Page 50 of Our Little Cliche

Chapter Forty-Nine

CYRUS

“Now, shoo. Get out, you. Go check the coast is clear,” Holly demands, shooing me away.

“But—”

“No buts. Out.”

“Okay, okay. Madam ,” I mock, bowing. Peeking through the door, the passageway is clear, and when I step out I peer over the bobbing heads of those in close proximity, seeing that everyone is as they were moments ago: dancing, drinking, laughing, and mingling.

All without a slither of suspicion on Holly’s or my disappearance.

“Wait for a few seconds, then go to the bar and order a drink. If you go back empty handed they might suspect something.”

I return to my seat, only to be confronted so suddenly by a snarling looking Renee. My stomach churns. Crap, here comes the investigations. “Where did Holly?—”

“So… how’s that book coming along?” I cut her off with haste, not wanting to draw attention to our disappearance. Annoyed, she answers the question.

“Good. I’ve almost finished two rounds of editing. I was actually looking for Holly, do you know where she is? Since Quinn hasn’t bothered looking for another editor to fill in for Graham yet other than Holly I need someone to do my books. If I can steal her away from the star of the show that is.”

“I’m sure Holly would love that. After she’s finished with mine, of course,”

“Oh, yes, your new book. Your last was a great success, this one will be no different.” Her tone reeks of jealousy, and I know why: I’m lined up for New York Times Bestseller, and she’s not. Not that I’m bragging about it or anything. I don’t rub my success in people’s faces.

“Thank you, Ren.” I guess. I’ve always felt guilty for stealing the limelight. Renee has been published with Quinn and Riverton House for far longer than I have. But I’ve worked hard to be where I am now.

“So… you’re not ready for edits, yet?”

“No, but?—”

“Okay, good. I’ll ask Holly when I see her.”

“Ask me what?” Holly enters the conversation with a cocktail in hand and still flushed cheeks from our earlier encounter.

“There you are. I’ve been wondering where you were, not that I left my spot to go looking. These drinks have gone straight to my head,” Renee says. “Hmm, speaking of… is that an espresso martini?”

Holly grins, her eyes sparkle with joy. The glass is almost as big as her face as she slurps the foam from the rip of her glass, leaving behind a creamy mustache on her lips. “Yep!”

“That looks delicious.”

“It really is.”

Oh, boy. That’s not going to end well , I think to myself, knowing that she’s going to end up stumbling in moments to come. She’s got two left feet sober as it is, let alone after a few beverages. Such a clumsy thing . How am I going to look after her with all these people around to see?

“You’re going to drink all of that?” My tone is unintentionally rich with possessiveness. Holly’s eyes widen, much like mine, then Renee fixes me a where the fuck did that come from glare, enticing a gulp to swallow down the lump in my throat. Crap. Way to go, genius.

“You’re probably right,” she breaks through the tight silence. “I’ve had too much already, I’ll make a mess of myself if I finish this.” She taps her glass, spinning around to walk away. “I’ll be back… again.”

After a split second Renee pins me down by the eyes. “Alright, enough with the funny business.”

Shit.

“What…?”

“I think you know what I mean, Stone.”

“What?” I repeat myself, even though I heard her. Even though I know exactly what she means.

I think I’m sweating.

Am I sweating?

I’m definitely sweating.

“Come on. It’s so fucking obvious,” she says, grinning ear to ear. Now it feels less like an interrogation and more of an I’m so happy for you type situation, but for the sake of it, I continue to play dumb.

“What is?”

“Oh, for f…” She pauses, finding her words. “You and Holly.” I snap my eyes to find Quinn, who’s dancing with someone on the dance floor, and I try to object, but words don’t follow. I don’t think I can even move. My mind wanders elsewhere.

Me and Holly.

Holly and I.

Holly and me.

I and Holly.

“Don’t worry. I won’t say shit,” Renee adds.

“Won’t say shit…”

“Yeah, about you and Holly.”

“Me and Holly…”

“Yes, what? Hello? Are you in auto-pilot or something?” Renee’s hands wave in front of me, and for a split second all I want to do is run away, and flee the country because it’s so goddamn hard to hide how I feel about her.

Why exist in a place where you’re not accepted?

Why hide it? Why torture yourself? Rationality takes charge and I say what I say next without even thinking.

“I love her, Ren. I have since I first laid eyes on her. I cannot picture my life without her by my side. I thought I could manage hiding it today, keeping away from her as if she’s a fucking stranger, but it god damn near killed me. I?—”

“You wanna talk about how secrets can destroy you, huh?” Renee frowns, leaning in closer, and almost bearing her teeth like a wild animal. “I’ll tell you about secrets. Believe me, I know. I’ve had to keep mine for YEARS .”

“You have? One that’ll get you fired? Career canceled? Disowned?”

“ Yes. ” Her words are pained, leaving a tender bruise when it soars under my skin. “I’m gay , Cyrus.”

“Oh.” I want to say being gay isn’t bad, and that there’s nothing wrong with it at all, but clearly to her it is, so I keep that thought to myself.

“Holly didn’t tell you?”

“She would never.” I gesture a cross pattern over my heart.

“She’s a good egg, then. She’s helped me see things from a different lens in just a couple hours than my therapist has my whole adulthood.

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m scared to open up to Quinn about it.

So many of my peers have lost their entire lives coming out of the closet.

You know what Quinn’s like. If I lose my job, I’ll lose my readers, too.

Maybe even my house if I can’t afford to?—”

“Renee, listen to me. You are worth your weight in gold. If the world cannot handle you as you , then they don’t deserve you. Never be ashamed of who you are.” It’s not until I say the words, that I truly understand that I don’t just include her in them.

“The light bulb lit up, didn’t it?” She smiles, gracefully, then cackles. We both end up in a full fit of belly laughs over our unfortunate predicament.

Holly returns with her martini now spread across two glasses, passing one to Renee. “Here, Stacy. This is for you.”

“For me? Wow, thank you.”

“So what’s so funny over here, then?”

“Your man here is pretty funny.”

Holly’s face turns white wash, causing both Renee and I to giggle again. “It’s okay, my love,” I say the words with confidence, not that anyone else is around to hear them. “Turns out we both had pretty soul sucking secrets to get out.”

My attention breaks as the music lulls to an almost inaudible volume, then the sound of a glass being tapped on with silverware fills the room. The chatter, dancing and laughter silence in an instant.

Ooh, a speech?

“Thank you for your attention everyone. Please can we have everyone seated for the award announcements?” Since we are already seated, we return to our conversation while waiting for everyone else.

“So…” Holly’s breathlessness excites me. “What do we do now?”

“We scream it from the fucking rooftops!” Renee takes the words right out of my mouth.

“ Yeah.. . that .”