Page 27 of Origin (Deridia #13)

He ached.

Which he wouldn’t admit, but Hana saw it. Looked over at him too often and shook her head, which made him sit up a little straighter and pretend he didn’t feel a twinge in his back as a result.

“I’m fine,” he insisted.

“I didn’t ask,” she reminded him, taking an overly large bite and trying not to grin at him.

Armen had warned him. Ellion had been overly confident and insisted he was strong and would be fine. Maybe he was used to this work, after all. And it would all come flooding back as soon as he picked up his first tool.

Except it hadn’t.

To which Armen had shaken his head much as Hana was now, and let Ellion work with far too much enthusiasm.

The hole had to be dealt with first. But not finished. That much was important. Because once it was finished, the guards would insist they all return to their regular duties.

Why they wouldn’t question setting a new foundation and walls suddenly appearing in other parts of the compound, Ellion did not bother to ask. He wasn’t the foreman. That role was Armen’s, and he held it covetously. He’d drawn up a crew, each of which had brought their terms. Only a few wanted separate housing. And those were the ones with women standing a few steps behind, uncertain if they would be drawn into the work.

One wanted kitchen work. No, it was more than that. Wanted to lead the kitchen. Because he was tired of gruel overcooked vegetables, and if this was the rest of his life, he was going to have something decent to eat.

Which led to a conversation with Hana regarding who decided on the schedule—the guards, or the grey men.

Not near the others. She was too nervous to be caught in the crew. But he couldn’t have her far, either, so he’d set her up by the warehouse. With her tubs and her books and a lock. Not that it was in use when they were making treks in and out for supplies.

“No one, at first. Which was the problem. So then the guards just started picking out people, saying no one was allowed to go hungry, and that we were filthy, so someone needed to clean. It was all very... arbitrary.”

“And you’re afraid to make it less so?”

Hana turned too-sad eyes toward him. “I’m not a dictator,” she explained, looking all the world like that’s what she thought she might be. “I don’t want to decide people’s lives for them.”

It was an easy thing to move forward. To press his forehead to hers while he let a hand creep to the back of her neck, resting gently. “That’s not what I’m suggesting,” he insisted. “If someone wants different work, why should that not be encouraged?”

“They’ll pick the easy stuff,” Hana reminded him. “I can see it now. Sign up lists, all for the lightest work. Then someone has to come along and pick who still has to go muck out the irrigation lines, and they’ll hate me.”

She was so certain of it. That it would be her having to do it. To pick and choose and face the consequences.

“You think I’d do that to you?”

Her bottom lip was tugged inward, and her shoulder shrugged. Which sent a pang through him very much like pain. Because he didn’t want to take offence. Didn’t want to think he’d loved her so poorly that she’d think he’d set her in such a position.

Wounds were slow to close. And he liked to think he wasn’t the one that had inflicted them at the start.

But he would be the one to be patient as they healed. Not lash out. Not hurt her more just because she doubted.

“No lists,” Ellion declared, allowing his thumb to rub little circles beneath her ear. Willing her to relax. To lose some of the tightness in her shoulders. “Just those that come talk to me. And I will be the one to discuss it with the guards, and you won’t be involved.”

Hana took a step backward, which wasn’t what he wanted at all, but he would force nothing of her. “That’s supposed to make me feel better?”

Ellion shook his head, trying to keep from smiling. “I can’t have people rounded up and accused of shirking their duties. They’ll need to be informed.”

She tapped her chest. “Which is my job,” she reminded him, a little more stern than she had been. She took a breath, staring down at the ground between them. Or maybe it’s as a glare. He didn’t stoop low enough to tell for certain.

“That’s my job,” she repeated.

Ellion didn’t reach for her, but the impulse was there, tingling in his fingertips. “All right,” he agreed. “So long as we’re agreed the blame is mine if all goes wrong.”

Her head popped up. “Don’t you worry about that. You’ll get no argument from me.” And it was too serious, and if she was truly so disturbed at the prospect, he would need to rethink. Because he would not lose her while he was trying to find a way to keep her. He simply refused.

She turned on her heel, ready to go back to her work in the office, or scurry back into the warehouse where she’d hide and stew and wait for them to sort it out when they went to bed.

Ellion didn’t think he could wait that long. Not when there was a knot in his belly that said he’d done wrong and he needed to be the one to fix it.

This was supposed to be a good thing. To help.

And he’d angered her.

“Hana,” he entreated, not going so far as to grab at her arm, but allowing his fingers to brush against her all the same.

She whirled back, hands fisted at her sides. “I’m scared,” she admitted, although it was more of an accusation. “I’m scared things will go wrong with all your promises and they’ll swarm us both. And I can’t bear the idea of that.” Her eyes were pained when at a last she looked at him. “I’m scared you’re wrong, about their intentions for this place, and they’ll be angry for the supplies you took. And I’ll be held responsible because I let you, and I’ll lose my job and we’ll get assigned to different ones, and then what happens?”

“All valid,” Ellion agreed, nodding his head and daring a half-step nearer. “I don’t want to lose you, and you don’t want to lose me.”

She swallowed, and he caught how her eyes misted over before she lowered them again. “That too.”

“And I’m trying to keep you,” Ellion explained. “Keep you safe. Keep you happy. And that means braving a few changes around this place. Because as it is, you’re neither.”

Hana glanced at him, her mouth twisted in a grimace. “I’m not unhappy,” she argued.

Ellion made another half-step. Which could have been considered crowding her when his shoulder brushed against hers. When he could easily reach out and put his arms about her and bring her into his chest. But he refrained, for the moment. “That’s not the same,” Ellion chided. “You deserve so much better than that.”

Her breath shuddered, and she was the one to lean inward. To rest against him, to entreat for him to hold her, and that was better. Far better. He pressed his cheek against the top of her head and hoped he wouldn’t bungle anything further. “I love you,” he murmured, because it was still true. Because it was the reason for all of this. “Let me try,” he entreated. “Let me try to fix this.”

Perhaps that was arrogance. Or perhaps it was what he did on the outside. Came in. Saw a problem. Tweaked and tugged until all was smooth again.

She made a strange sound in the back of her throat. Not a whimper, not a cough, but somewhere in between. “You’re not just saying that to win an argument, are you?”

His hold on her tightened. “I said it because it’s true,” he swore to her. “And it’s part of my reasoning, so I thought you should know about it.”

She nodded, the move almost making her burrow further against him. It was a feeling he craved more than was reasonable. To be her safety. Her home.

Like she was to him.

“I reserve the right to be cross if anything bad happens.”

“Duly noted,” Ellion agreed with a smile he did not try to contain. Her hair proved a more than adequate shield.

She would pull away soon. Would sniff and bustle and shoo him away so she could get back to her work. As if she wasn’t his work. But for now, she let him have this. Let him pretend everything would be fine, and he’d prove her fears unfounded.

He tried to hold on to that feeling when he explained to the guards why they were moving from the office toward the empty area around the warehouse. No, they weren’t slacking. Yes, they were working. The crew knew what to do, and of course he had eyes on Hana. Always that. They clicked at him, but did not order them back. Did not object when they carried supplies from the warehouse and Ellion got his first lesson in foundations.

Hana was situated beside the warehouse, watching it all, two books at her side and one in her hands as she watched the proceedings. She made no comment, nor any objections if anything Armen suggested was contrary to the texts. Just watched, her brow furrowed with a little line of tension above her nose ridges.

Then came shovels. Ellion was absolutely certain there was another way to do this. A tool, or a bot, or maybe even a laser that could grade earth without having to resort to such labour. But if the warehouse stored anything of the sort, it was lost in the recesses of too many piles, so shovels and hard work it would be.

He’d thought himself a strong man, but that was before the ache settled in his shoulders, reminding him this work was new, and he was wholly unprepared for it.

“Got any scraps?” Armen asked. “Cloth,” he clarified. “Soft hands like yours aren’t going to stay that way if you don’t bind them up.”

Hana was the one up and hurrying to their dormitory after that. He watched her go, counting the seconds as she disappeared inside, ready to run after her if it felt more than was reasonable. But she came back out with strips of cloth at the ready, and he wondered which of her shirts had been sacrificed in their making.

He couldn’t pretend he didn’t like how it felt to watch her fuss over every reddened mark. To click her tongue and be careful with the knots as she made sure there was proper coverage. “I like your hands just as they are,” she murmured when at last she was satisfied with her work.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Ellion assured her. Which was fitting, because he liked her just as she was.

A few came to stare when they finished their shifts. He recognised a few from the kitchen. Others from maintenance. None approached either Ellion or Hana to enquire after the project, but he caught a few speaking with Armen. Most shook their heads after, obviously questioning either the purpose or their success. Others paused.

A few asked if there were more shovels. But they wanted a room afterward, so maybe it needed to bump out a little further. Or a second level. Maybe a third. Room to grow.

“You going to want plumbing in this place?” A man came to Ellion’s side, standing and assessing.

“Don’t know yet,” Ellion answered. “Right now I want walls and a door.”

The man nodded. “You’ll want it plumbed.” He glanced toward Hana, and Ellion paused to watch him warily. “She’ll want it. Nothing a woman likes better than getting a private place to bathe.”

Ellion gripped his shovel, not entirely certain he liked anyone noticing she was a woman. Thinking about her at all. If it was friendly, that was one thing. But Hana didn’t have friends. Just him. And he couldn’t pretend he trusted it. “What’ll it cost?” he asked, because he didn’t dislike the idea of keeping her out of as many communal areas as possible. Giving her the chance to wash herself in peace. No one to wait and pounce as soon as she’d finished.

Well. Other than him.

But the reasons were entirely different.

“About five thousand credits,” he answered, shaking his head and looking up at the sky. “Double if you want it a second floor like they’re talking about.”

Ellion snorted. “You’ll be waiting a long time for that.”

A sigh. Deep and a little wistful. He wasn’t a young man. Not very old, either. On the smaller side, which was probably a good thing when dealing with pipes and confined spaces.

Ellion couldn’t say that job was an appealing one, and every credit would have been well earned.

“Don’t I know it,” he muttered under his breath. He was quiet a long while, just staring at the dig. “Here’s the thing,” he began at last. “I don’t have a lot to offer. I’m not the strongest here. I’m not much to look at. But I don’t want to go the rest of my life without a girl, you know? And maybe if I’ve got a nice spot to offer, she’ll look at me twice.”

Ellion blew out a breath. That wasn’t exactly what he’d been expecting, and he felt inadequate to deal with such a confession. It felt like a strange sort of transaction. Couldn’t decide if it felt too much like coercion. But who was he to judge if a woman wanted to be with a man because he had a private room and somewhere for her to wash that wasn’t shared with a hundred others?

Ellion rubbed at the back of his neck. “If it doesn’t work out and still no one likes you, you going to rip it all out?”

The man snorted. “Let’s just say as soon as we leave this place, you’ll owe me the credits instead.”

Ellion stared a moment longer. Wondered if he’d regret this.

Stuck out his arm. “Deal.”

The other man grasped his forearm.

And suddenly they had their plumbing.

And he’d be glad of it. Was glad.

Except at the evening meal, his body felt leaden, and he was more tired than he remembered. Which was a flaw in his plan, for certain. Because he couldn’t let himself go to exhaustion, not when his primary goal was Hana’s safety. He needed to be able to fight. To win.

And at the moment, he could feel how useless he would be, come morning.

With Hana sitting across from him, shaking her head and looking all the world like she knew just how he felt.

“You needn’t gloat.”

“I didn’t say anything!” it was her turn to insist, but her eyes were too bright and while there was sympathy about the edges, there was a great deal too much amusement as well.

He grunted, managing another spoonful. He really must insert that one fellow into the kitchen staff. He had no way of knowing if he was any good, but it couldn’t possibly be worse. Not that he wanted a host of Hana’s coveted nutri-bars. There had been two on her tray, but he noticed her slip one into her sleeve when the guard wasn’t looking. She would want to share it with him, because she thought it was the kind thing to do. How to explain that his enjoyment was seeing her happy while eating them?

“You worked hard today,” Hana soothed, reaching out and patting his hand. She’d freed him of his bandages when Armen declared them done for the day, but even with their protection there were definitely reddened areas. That would also be sore.

One giant wound, that would be him come morning.

“I did,” Ellion agreed, because he liked her fussing. Maybe he shouldn’t admit it, but there was no point lying to himself.

She picked up her tray. His too. Which on another day he would protest. Remind her that he was there to take care of her, but today he allowed it. Let her tack them back to the kitchen. Let her click her tongue and bustle him off to the shower. Even shoved him into another stall for a second cycle, although he was absolutely certain that was not how it was supposed to work.

It was as near to naked as she’d seen him, daring to delve inside when he was in nothing but his too-short towel, but it had all happened so quickly he hadn’t been able to fully embrace how scandalised he ought to have been.

Instead, he was too focused on how good more warm water felt against his muscles. How sweet she was to be so firm on his behalf.

When the cycle ended again, he held the towel around him, waiting for her to barge in again. “Am I dressing?” he called, and waited for her to answer before he dropped his damp towel and proceeded to change.

Not that it should matter, should it? A new sort of intimacy. He would certainly like to see her with no clothes on. But this wasn’t exactly the place he had in mind.

Not that he allowed himself to think of it often. But often wasn’t never, and sometimes his thoughts would stray to places he might be with her. The mess hall was particularly indecent. Not just because it was where they took their meals, but also because he so liked the idea of her being spread along one of the long tables. Of getting to look his fill and sate other hungers than what resided in his belly.

She would be horrified, he was absolutely certain. She wouldn’t even let him get to the part where he did not even like the idea if there was even the hint of possibility of others being about, and that he was no exhibitionist, so she needn’t worry on that account.

“I’ll allow it,” Hana answered, and she shook her head. His boss, that one.

He dressed. Tried to quiet his thoughts about... well, about her. Which was nearly impossible these days, because she was everywhere. Just as he liked her.

He emerged, the air moist about them as she looked him over. They’d fetched clean clothing before coming here, so he felt better. More respectable. Not covered in fine dirt and too much sweat.

He really should have washed before eating, now that he thought of it. Next time. Because his days would be full of this, and he’d get better at it. Stronger, too, if Armen had anything to say about it.

“Will I do?”

Hana hummed. Reached for his hand.

Oh. Not his hand. His soiled clothes.

“One more stop,” she declared.

Which of course was the laundry. You couldn’t get something clean without offering a replacement, and she handed off his dirties while he sifted through piles of various sizes in search of something similar.

He couldn’t blame the man scowling at the state of his clothes when he unfurled them, but surely they weren’t much worse than the farmhands. “Should I beat them first?” Ellion asked, hoping his tone sounded as genuine as he meant it. “Get the dust out?”

“You could work naked,” the man countered. “That would be better.”

Ellion snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He was the one to reach for Hana’s hand, his fresh clothes tucked up under his arm for tomorrow. “Where to?” he asked, knowing what he wanted most. Bed. Sleep.

But he had to ask. Because she got a say, and it was early yet, and he wouldn’t go without her.

She squeezed his hand and looked at him sternly. “I don’t want you working naked for all and sundry to see you.”

He snorted. When she tugged at his hand because she wasn’t moving, was standing and looking at him, waiting for a response, he had to consider that she was actually serious. He took a step back toward her, brow furrowed. “Why?” Not that he would. Or would consider it. But he couldn’t make promises layers wouldn’t come off come the hotter months. Assuming it took that long to build something.

She flushed, obviously not expecting him to do anything but offer a quick assurance that he never would.

“That’s none of your business,” she retorted primly.

And he could have let it go. Maybe should have. Because she was growing flustered no matter how hard she tried to hide it. But he never did things exactly as he ought, and he was nosey and... curious. That was all.

“Hana,” he urged, not letting her walk away from him. Which might have been wrong, because she could do what she liked, and he’d let her have her arm back in a minute, he swore, but for now he kept hold of her wrist. Gently. Always that. “I wouldn’t want you to do that,” he admitted. “Well, the work part as well. Unless you wanted to. But most especially for all your goodness to be out there for anybody to notice. Might give some people ideas. About what they’re missing. And then you might realise you could have someone better than me.”