Page 56 of Organized Chaos

He rested his chin on my temple, stroking my hair.

“Everyone thought the apple didn’t fall far from the tree and had this prejudice against me. They didn’t understand; it made me sick to think of what he did. I’d never do that.Ever.”

If only he knew.

This was the most Brandon had shared in my lifetime. I used to get giddy whenever he opened up even a little. And now, I wished he hadn’t. If Brandon could see my expression, he’d notice the mortification written on my face.

“The whole experience left me... jaded. For so long, I lived my life disproving everyone else and their gossip. Always feeling suspicious of women and their intentions.”

He cupped my chin to tip my face, spearing me with a vulnerability I had never seen on him before.

“But I’m trying really hard to be different and not let my past affect things between us,” he added quietly.

Brandon smiled sadly when I didn’t speak. If it were anyone else, I would have believed he was searching for reassurance. But I couldn’t have formulated a response had I tried.

I had never heard this story before, nor had I come across this information. Not surprising. I stalked Brandon by visiting locations he frequented rather than digging into his past.

Everything finally clicked. There was a reason Brandon only pursued older women on the rare instances he gave the female demographic any attention. He was fighting against preconceived notions.

For years, I was happy to peek into Brandon’s life from a safe distance. Why did I make the mistake of interacting with him? In one weekend, I ruined everything he had built to protect his reputation.

It wasn’t bad enough that I had inadvertently deceived him. Now I had to conceal it too. Brandon was struggling with his dad’s death and family history. If he found out my identity, he’d be repulsed, both by himself and me.

All this time, I had justified this trip as a special circumstance because Brandon lost his dad. I never meant to put him in jeopardy.

This damage was irreversible. An underaged girl had lost her virginity to Brandon. And in my attempt to join Brandon in Italy, I fabricated a whole narrative for Raven. I begged her to let me extend the trip. Meanwhile, Gabby told her parents that I had left for Paris.

Until my flight out, I had nowhere else to go.

So, there was nothing more to it except blocking everything else out and living out the remaining days with the fantasy I’d never otherwise experience. After that, I’d ensure no one found out about what happened between us. And never again would I show my face to Brandon.

Part of me died a thousand times at just the thought.

Chapter 14

My back strummed againstthe wall, wrists painfully bruised from Brandon’s hold. Hot breath tickled my cheek. I dared not face him, worried about my own reaction if I acknowledged him.