Page 19 of Orc’s Promise (Knotty Monsters #3)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

VERIG

A tox has two younglings, with one birth. This is unheard of among orcs. But our graka does not seem upset. She’s excited. Twins, she called them.

When a warrior cannot tell two knives apart based on the inherent flaws in the metal or smithing process, we call the blades twins. But younglings? This is not a concept we know.

The smell of a newborn throws me back to the day Haaka birthed our daughter. I’d never been so proud or happy as in that moment. Veeya had her mother’s light green eyes and two tiny tusks. Early for a youngling.

“Verig, you may leave now,” Atox says, his brow raised as if he’s questioning why I’m still here.

I leave their chamber only to see Tansey waiting in the tunnel, her arms crossed over her breasts. She slammed the door earlier, making it clear she’s still mad at me.

“I do not wish to forget,” I say to her.

“Forget what?” she asks, her voice on edge, similar to her entire body.

“How to feel.”

“What are you talking about? ”

“When I lost Haaka, I thought I’d never feel again, nothing beyond anger and hate.”

Tansey’s face softens, her earlier anger gone. She does not hate me, as I’d begun to believe. This is why I continue telling her of Haaka. To let her see my shame. She must know all of me before we enter risha.

“Haaka was aboard one of the ships that exploded when we left Orcos. I could not save her…them. Any of them.”

Tansey unfolds her arms. “I didn’t realize. I’m so sorry. Is this why you refused to take a woman of your own during the raid?”

“What makes you think?—”

“Baloq said you prefer to be alone. And your bed is smaller than Atox’s, as if you never intended to welcome a woman into it.”

“I didn’t. Until I saw you fight off Yanzu.”

“Yanzu?”

“The warrior who initially captured you in New Earth. You escaped him. Then Baloq took you.”

“That’s me. The only woman who escapes one beast to be captured by another.

” She bites her bottom lip, then exhales slowly.

“I’m sorry. I’m just tired of being treated like a prize.

I didn’t know the name of the first guy who grabbed me.

I’ve been watching for him, expecting him to take me, like Baloq. ”

She hides her fears well, a quality necessary for warriors, but not females. Not when they have males to protect them, as I will protect her.

“I sent Yanzu to relocate to one of our other colonies, several days’ ride from here.”

“Because of me?”

“I did not want him going near you. I had enough to contend with Baloq. He’d stated a claim to you.”

“You left me to Baloq because of some law, but then you followed me everywhere until you finally got me in your bed. And now you want to bind me to you. Is this because you miss your mate? ”

It is a good question, one I don’t know how to answer. Tansey stirs a part of me that I thought no longer existed. I now wake each day, eager to catch her scent in the wind, and to lay my eyes on her to ensure she is well.

When I woke yesterday morning after mating her…Vekk, I don’t recall ever feeling so alive.

“I understand loneliness, Verig. That’s why I stayed in your bed. I’ve been alone a very long time.”

I run my hands down her arms, amazed at the softness of her skin. Almost as soft as a newborn.

Never again will I see or touch my sweet little Veeya. I will never hear her ask me to throw her in the air and catch her. Never feel her glide her finger along my tusks and ask when hers will be as big as mine.

My hand slides to the small of Tansey’s back, and I coax her to walk with me. She’s been inside these tunnels since yesterday morning without nourishment.

“Come. We will share a meal.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Then you will sit while I eat. The last I ate was a delectable female, but my body requires sustenance.”

“Don’t make me laugh.”

“Laughing suits you. I’ve even gotten used to your lack of tusks when your lips curl.” I run my finger along her bottom lip, and she playfully bites me. “We are well-suited for one another. I wish you would see that.”

“My future is not here, Verig. How can it be?”

“You miss your son.”

“Yes.” She swallows back a slight cry. “Very much.”

“Where is your mate now? Was he captured by an enemy? Is he dead?”

“Stop calling him my mate. I want nothing to do with him. Ethan and I came to Kovos to get away from him. ”

“I don’t understand the male. I would have died to save my mate, and never would I leave a youngling to fend for itself.”

“Nash only cared about himself.”

The more I learn about humans, the less I like the species. But Tansey and Paloma care about the people around them, orc and human alike. And they are resilient, clever. I believe there is much we can learn from them.

“Nash wanted sex, not a baby taking all the attention away from him. When Ethan was three months old, Nash gave me a choice. Him or the baby.”

Tansey twirls her hair around her fingers until I capture her hand in mine and ease the lock from her hand. “The male did not deserve you or the youngling.”

“Nice words, but words don’t feed a child, or keep him warm, or let him know his mother is there to love and protect him.”

Her eyes narrow on me, as if I’m the one keeping her from her child.

Vekk, I am.

“When I chose Ethan, Nash kicked us out. We lived on the streets for months until an elderly couple took us in. Four years later, when I’d made a life for us, even had a job at a hospital, Nash found us.

He said he wanted me back. Not his son, just me.

His last girlfriend had left him. I guess he needed someone to fuck. I told him to get lost.”

This is a female who always walks with pride, except when she speaks of the male who used her. I place a finger beneath her chin and tilt her head up. “He cannot hurt you here.”

She steps back, a clear sign she’s not ready for me. “I was naive to believe Ethan and I would be safe on Kovos. I ignored everyone who said Earth was safer, even under coalition rule. Your people proved them right.”

I close the gap between us, standing so close that my breath stirs the hairs on her head. “You are safe here with me. Now, continue your story. I wish to hear it all. ”

Her silence worries me, but I don’t believe I’ve pushed her beyond her limits. Finally, she nods and continues.

“Nash threatened me. Said I had a week to move in with him, without Ethan. I took Ethan and left the family we’d been staying with.

They never charged me rent, so I had some money saved up.

Enough to rent a place of our own. A small, crappy apartment with poor heating and not exactly in the best area, but it was ours.

And more importantly, twenty miles away from Nash.

I got a job cleaning for a wealthy family.

They didn’t pay much, but they let me bring Ethan to work with me. ”

“You provided for your child, as any female would,” I say with pride.

A smile grows on her face, then quickly disappears.

“All that changed two months later. I’d just tucked Ethan into his bed when Nash broke down the door and dragged me off with him.

The bastard left my son, my four-year-old son, in an apartment all alone, with the door kicked in.

He could have been stolen or wandered off and been struck by a bus, but Nash didn’t care.

He was all about what he wanted. I don’t know what I ever saw in him, but I swore that day that I’d never put Ethan or myself in that situation again. ”

I’ve seen her fight Yanzu and Baloq off, but she’s a small female. “How did you escape him?”

“After he held me against my will for two days, Nash left his knife out while he showered. I didn’t care what he did to me, Verig. I had to get back to Ethan. I stabbed Nash. It was the only way to escape. I screwed up.”

“The kill was justified.”

She shakes her head. “I didn’t kill him.

I only stabbed him in the shoulder. That’s the mistake I made.

My only thought was escaping. When I finally made it home, Ethan was gone.

I found a note saying the authorities had taken him.

I spent the next two weeks trying to get him back.

Then, the police arrested me. Accused me of trying to kill that bastard Nash.

I went to prison for attempted murder and child abandonment. ”

This makes no sense. None of it, especially the charge of abandonment. I just watched this female stand up to Atox at the gathering for the sake of our graka, then aid in the delivery of her younglings. Tansey has fought me and this entire camp to return to her son.

“Why would your people cage you because you escaped your captor?”

“Nash lied and said I attacked him. Then, he accused me of child abandonment, even though he was the reason Ethan had been left alone.”

“The male manipulated the circumstances and laws against you. This is more evidence that human males are untrustworthy, lower than gorja dung.”

She stiffens, as if I’ve insulted her. “Finish the tale.”

“Why? So you can use it against me?”

I cannot return her, and she doesn’t want her son here. I need to find a solution. This female needs her son as much as…as I need her.

“I wish to understand your journey here. A neld must gather the facts before he advises his grak, or he risks making matters worse.”

“I see goodness in you, Verig, in how you fight for your people, how you care about them and your laws. You’re nothing like Nash, except in one way.”

“Tell me.”

“You detest kids, human kids specifically.”

Her words strike like a knife to the gut. “What makes you say this?”

“The comments I hear all the time from the other orcs. About how human males are insignificant, weak, duplicitous, little more than gorja dung. Those were your words, seconds ago. Words you say when you’re not thinking of bonding. Honest words. ”

I’m beginning to wonder if the translation chip the bantarans installed in me is failing. “How do you come to believe this?”

“You told me to accept never seeing my son again. It doesn’t work that way. There is no forgetting a child.”

No, there is not. But I would never ask of her, or any parent, to forget their child. I do not know why Tansey thinks I asked her to forget her son.

Then it strikes me. After she refused to perform risha with me, she accused me of trying to keep her from her youngling.

I’d thought of Veeya, of how I’d never see her again.

I tried to convince myself that if I had more younglings, then the pain would lessen and I could forget about the youngling I could not save.

But that will never happen. I will never forget her. Nor do I wish to.

Vekk me, I must have spoken my thoughts out loud. It’s possible Tansey thought I spoke of her youngling, instructing her to forget him. One look at the hurt in her face confirms this.

Haaka and Veeya are with the gods now. There is nothing I can do for them. But Tansey…I have a chance to be with a female who is well-suited to me, and I’ve already failed her by not finding a way to return her to her son.

As we exit the tunnels, the smoke from the cooking fires reaches us. One whiff of the ashen scent and I remember how thick, black smoke filled Orcos’ skies as one by one the ships with our females and younglings aboard exploded.

The need to throw up nearly overwhelms me, but I will not embarrass myself, especially before my female. I grind to a halt.

“When I spoke those words, my thoughts were elsewhere. You will never forget your child, and don’t let anyone tell you to. Especially me.”

Tansey says something, but I don’t hear her words as I charge into the woods. An orc should not walk away from his mate, but she isn’t mine, and she never will be until I prove myself to her. Her first mate failed her, as I failed my Haaka .

I must be the protector and provider she needs, or I will lose Tansey. And I cannot survive another loss.