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The wig was beautifully made and far better quality than any I’d seen before. Admittedly, most of the wigs I’d handled were from Lily’s collection in the days when she dressed up for her ever-evolving curious roster of jobs, but it gave me an indication of what the gray bob with feathery bangs might cost.

Even stranger was the rubbery residue around it. “What is that?” I asked, raising it to my nose to sniff before wishing that wasn’t my first inclination.

“There’s a nose in here,” said Lily, peering into the trash can. She extended her arm, pulled a face, and leaned in.

I stilled, fearing the worst. “What?”

“Not a real one, silly. It’s one of those putty, fake noses that actors wear,” she said as she pulled out the pale lump with torn edges, examining it closely. “There’s more of the putty and… is that a blouse?” Lily stared into the trash can.

I pulled disposable gloves from my purse and prepared to explore. Unfortunately, dumpster diving was a sport I had some experience in—and didn’t like to relive—but at least the chances of my falling into this trash can were non-existent… and that had to mean our elderly target was unlikely to have suffered such a fate. At least not in her entirety. Chopped up was a different matter but Lily hadn’t screamed when she pulled out the fake nose so that was a good sign.

I plunged my gloved hands inside the can and within a couple of minutes, a variety of clothing lay at my feet. A floral blouse. A beige, sleeveless cardigan, a pair of beige loafers that had seen better days, pale green slacks and a cheap purse, completely empty. Not even a tissue or a couple of bucks lay inside.

“Did she melt or something?” asked Lily, looking around like there might be a puddle or trail of human goo nearby.

“Or something,” I said. “This was what one of the women was wearing yesterday. I remember the floral blouse from the video.” Now that I thought about it, the sleeveless cardigan had been too warm a garment for such a hot day but it hadn’t seemed out of place for a very elderly lady.

“Definitely. I remember the blouse was cheery but the rest of the outfit couldn’t be more dull. Beige, beige, beige. Her outfit was so bland, it was a crime against fashion.”

“That’s exactly it. Hardly memorable but it gave full coverage.” I knelt and picked up the items, turning them over. Inexpensive fabrics, well-used, the type of garments and accessories you’d find in a thrift store. The pants’ pockets were just as empty as the purse. “Lily, I think this was a costume.”

“Why would anyone want to wear that as a costume? There’s way cuter stuff out there. Only last week I bought a French…”

“Don’t tell me,” I said.

“But it came with lacy…”

“No.”

“And a feather…”

“Lily!”

Lily rolled her eyes and shrugged. “Jord liked it.”

“I’m happy for you both. I meant, this outfit was a disguise.”

“Oooh,” cooed Lily. “Undercover Granny!” She pulled out her phone. “I have to tell your mom.”

“Don’t tell my mom,” I said, waving for her to put her phone away but instead, she snapped photos. I pulled out my phone and did the same, like it had been my idea all along. “If she even was a granny,” I said, examining the fake nose now. It was remarkably good. Wide across the bridge with a thickened tip and hollowed out nostrils, yet the skin color and texture were astonishingly real. If I hadn’t turned it over to see the inside, I would have thought a terrible dismemberment had happened here.

“There’re more bits,” said Lily, peering into the trash can again.

I joined her and reached in, pulling out what looked like strips of skin. Yet, even through my gloves, they had a slightly rubbery texture.

I turned back to the residents’ communal areas, then to the trash can, and then the parking lot, thinking. When I gathered my thoughts, I said, “I doubt whoever wore this was a resident here. She just wanted everyone to think she was. She parked in this lot, wearing a disguise, and walked through the retirement community. Maybe she stuck around for a bit to see whom she could attach herself to, and got on the bus downtown with a couple of other residents, making everyone think she was an elderly resident too. If no one recognized her, well, she must have been unknown to the community. I’m not sure now she actually even knew the other ladies, no matter how friendly they seemed yesterday.”

“They were walking with linked arms.”

“Sure, but she could have made friendly with them here and then roped them into whatever she was doing as part of her disguise. All she had to do was go downtown with them, use them to cover what she was really doing, return on the bus with them, and say her goodbyes. She ditched her disguise in the trash, got into her car, and poof! Gone! Like she never existed, which she didn’t,” I added, holding up the fake nose in one hand and the wig in the other.

“I hate to say it, because I absolutely love it, but this is mostly conjecture,” said Lily. “Maybe she wore a wig because she’s losing her hair, and the nose could be because she has a facial deformity.”

“Explain the clothes,” I challenged.

“Okay, you got me. I can’t. They’re sooo beige. Even the flowers on the blouse are on a beige background. I can’t imagine no one told her it’s not a good look.”

“It is conjecture, but I think it’s a solid guess, given the evidence she dumped,” I agreed as I peered into the trash can, hoping for something that could give me a valid clue as to the perp’s real identity. Unfortunately, all I could see now were candy wrappers, empty chip bags and other useless detritus. Pulling a face, I reached further inside, gingerly moving trash out of the way in case there was something sharp, or a candy-stuffed chipmunk lurking at the bottom, waiting to spring out at me. Fortunately for me, there really was only trash. Unfortunately, none of it was useful. No wallet, no ID cards, and no hope. “Do you have a bag I can put this stuff in?” I asked.

“Jord makes us carry reusable shopping bags,” said Lily, producing a blue pouch from her purse. “He’s on a recycling kick. We’re saving the planet one plastic bag at a time.” She unfolded the pouch into a large shopping bag and held it open while I scooped up the disguise and tossed it in. Then I peeled off my gloves and threw them in the trash.

“Let’s go talk to Evelyn and Judy,” I said. “Perhaps they can shed some light on the situation.”

“Good cop, bad cop?” asked Lily. “Wanna toss for it?”

“How about we just ask them gentle, probing questions, and try not to scare them,” I suggested.

“It would be easy to rough them up a little. Just one prod and those old ladies would go down like a pile of bricks.”

“We’re not roughing anyone up. We’re gathering intel.”

“You sound like a spy. Which you sort of are. A really cute spy. Where are your pants from? I like that shade of pink.”

“Thanks! I got them at the mall last week. Do you think I look like a walking sausage?”

“Nope. But if you’d gone a shade lighter, I might think you were semi-naked. You made a good call on the darker pink. I can definitely tell you’re dressed and no one will think you’re gathering intel. Someone should tell the FBI to update their standard outfits to something jollier. Maybe they’d get more information out of people if they didn’t freak them out on sight with those dull, official suits.”

“The FBI don’t freak me out on sight.”

“Because you know what one of them looks like naked,” pointed out Lily, and winked.

“Maddox is going to Germany on assignment. Why don’t I get assignments like that?” I asked, contemplating it. “I’d like to go to Europe again.”

“Have you asked Solomon? I don’t think you’d even need to take a job. He’d take you just because you want to go there.”

“In that case, I’d rather go to France. Or Italy.”

Lily cut me a side look. “They’re in Europe,” she said.

“I know that! I meant I’d rather go to France or Italy than Germany. France and Italy are pretty dresses, berets, croissants, pasta, and courtyards with lots of sunshine.”

“Germans have pastries, rivers, and a lot of beer.”

I pondered that. “I like pastries.”

“Aim high. Ask for all three. But if you go to Paris, I want to come too.”

“I don’t think Solomon would see it as a romantic getaway if you came too.”

“That’s what he thinks. We both know different. I would romance the heck out of a trip like that. I’ll get you a padlock for that famous bridge in Paris that the couples attach their locks to as a declaration of their love, and I’ll take the best pictures of you looking wistful on Italian balconies. I’ll take you on picnics and tours of all the sites and I won’t even complain when you want to spend a day shopping because that’s what I’ll want to do too!”

“That does sound nice,” I admitted.

“Exactly. Who needs men when you have a bestie to nail the assignment with?”

“Feminist,” I said, nodding.

“Practical,” said Lily.

We stopped outside the apartment Lily had pointed out when we walked past only a few minutes ago. The door was still open and the ceiling fan was making a squeaking noise. One of the ladies sat on the couch while the other moved around the adjacent kitchen at the rear of the small apartment. Two internal doors were closed and I guessed they were probably the bedroom and bathroom. The apartment was cozy and cluttered, but well-appointed. It looked like a regular starter apartment except for the long panic rail that wrapped around the walls. I knocked and waved through the open door.

“I can hardly see who you are with the sun behind you,” called the lady on the couch, shielding her eyes. She was the rounder, shorter of the trio and I recalled she’d been wearing light slacks and sleeveless blouse. Now she wore a batik midi skirt and a matching t-shirt, the bright colors very becoming on her. “Come in so I can get a better look at you. Ah, there you are. Who might you be?”

“I’m Lexi, and this is my friend, Lily,” I said as we stepped in. “I hoped you could help me with something.”

“Unlikely with my hip. You’re too young to be in here. Are you looking for someone?” she asked, shifting to see us better. “Are you lost? It’s easy to get around once you realize the numbering system makes no sense. Do the opposite of whatever seems natural and you’ve cracked it.”

I laughed at that and nodded. “I’m looking for my grandma,” I lied smoothly, almost surprised at how easily it slipped out. “One of the employees said she saw her with you yesterday when you came back from your shopping trip and we can’t seem to find her.”

“Your grandma, huh? Judy, have you seen any missing grandmas?” called couch lady, or Evelyn, as I now assumed.

“Nope, I just see a bunch of grandmas stuck in this joint,” called back Judy, barely turning around. She was tall and lean with wild, curly, gray hair pushed back with a headband. She wore pale blue slacks and a shapeless floral blouse, not too dissimilar from the one we’d found tossed in the trash. Judy continued, “Although there was Sylvia, who went missing for three days in the spring but turned out she was just in bed with Roger and they both did something to their hips and got stuck. Do you remember the firetrucks coming out, Evelyn?”

“Epic,” said Evelyn. She turned to us. “That’s what my grandkids say. Epic . I think I got the context right.”

“I think so too,” I said, unsure whether I should ask more about Sylvia and Roger or just leave it to my horrified imagination.

“Three days, huh?” said Lily, nudging me out the way.

Evelyn shifted uncomfortably and Judy passed her a cold pack, which Evelyn pressed to her hip. “That’s not how I got this,” she said.

“Evelyn fell over like an old lady,” said Judy, returning to the kitchen to collect a tray that she deposited with a jug of iced water, two glasses and a bowl of chips on the coffee table before flopping in the armchair and fanning herself. She leaned in to fill Evelyn’s glass and pass it to her.

“I didn’t fall. I was pushed!” said Evelyn indignantly.

“She fell,” insisted Judy. “So Angela is your grandma? We didn’t socialize with anyone else yesterday.”

“Where’re your manners, Judy? Get these young ladies some glasses. This heat is something else today,” said Evelyn. She pinched the material at her cleavage and wafted it while she pressed the glass between her collarbones, then on her forehead.

Judy rolled her eyes at the order but got up and returned with two fresh glasses, passing them to us before pouring from the jug.

“Angela? Yes, that’s right,” I said. “She mentioned going shopping. Have you known her long?”

“No, we only got acquainted yesterday. I never saw her before then and I think she said she just moved in. I’m not even sure which apartment is hers. Do you know, Evelyn?”

“I figured she got Ruthie’s. Ruthie died two weeks ago,” Evelyn added for our benefit, then, “Terrible to die in the summer and not be found quickly. They spent a week fumigating the apartment; then they had to repaint and get rid of the bedroom furniture.”

“No, there’s a man in there,” said Judy. “I saw him getting the welcome tour with his kids.”

“How old?” asked Evelyn promptly. “Teeth? Hair?”

“He said he’s eighty-nine but he looks eighty. Hollywood teeth and a smattering of hair, mostly in his ears.”

“But single?” Evelyn persisted.

“Widowed,” said Judy and the pair grinned like teenagers faced with their heartthrob.

I needed to get them back on topic before they decided to go in search of the new man. “So you only met Angela yesterday?” I prompted.

“That’s right. We got to chatting and she seemed like a fun gal. She should liven up the place a bit. We were sitting out in the garden, enjoying the sun and thinking about how to pass the time when Angela strolled up and introduced herself. First thing she did was suggest we break out and head downtown. She said it would be fun!” Evelyn winced and pressed the pack on her hip. “Plus, the bus has air conditioning so that convinced us.”

“She saw the necklace I was wearing and said I had great taste and she needed help buying a gift for her granddaughter. Guess that’s you,” said Judy.

“Uh, yeah,” I said. “It’s my birthday soon.”

“So we probably shouldn’t tell you anymore,” said Judy. She mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

“We’re actually worried Granny usually spends too much,” said Lily, jumping in. “She’s a little reckless with her money. We don’t want her to spend a fortune on a birthday gift.”

Evelyn and Judy exchanged glances.

“Oh, no,” I said, putting my hand to my mouth. “Did she go to a jewelry store? I told her not to be so extravagant! We want her to spend her money on herself, especially after that credit card incident.” I flashed a look at Lily and she nodded, her face full of concern.

“Terrible impulse control,” added Lily.

“Maybe we should tell them?” said Judy to Evelyn. “She didn’t buy anything anyway.”

“I suppose it won’t matter if we do since that’s true and we’re not spoiling any surprise. Angela really was insistent we went to Reynolds’. That’s a nice jewelry store downtown. She said we should try some things on, really have some fun for the day, do things that we wouldn’t normally do. I suppose I’m a creature of habit. Anyway, we wanted to go to a dress shop but Angela insisted she needed to buy a present. She was quite forceful about it and we had plenty of time so we went to both stores and more,” said Evelyn.

“We figured why not?” said Judy. “Your grandma seems like a fun sort and we need more of that type around here. Some of the new residents just seem to give up and we like to live a little. Plus, who doesn’t like a little shopping trip? There wasn’t anything we liked in terms of clothing but Angela said we should try on a few rings and other things while she tried to pick something; then, in the middle of all of that, Evelyn fell.”

“I didn’t fall!” huffed Evelyn. She pulled a face as she shifted, adjusting the cold pack on her hip, clearly uncomfortable.

“Then how were you upright one moment and on the floor the next?” asked Judy.

“I told you already, Angela pu—” Evelyn trailed off, looking first at me, then the floor, clearly uncomfortable with the accusation she’d been ready to divulge.

“Did Angela, uh, Granny, push you?” I asked, confused. I hadn’t seen that in the video tape. “I’m so sorry! She can be very clumsy.”

Evelyn shook her head. “Not pushed exactly. My leg collapsed from under me and I toppled over. I think she hooked her foot around my ankle and gave it a yank!”

“That’s a mean thing to do!” said Lily looking stern as she shook her head. “Shame on Granny!”

“We’ll have words with her,” I said. “She needs to be more careful!”

“Well, I didn’t much want to go shopping anymore after that, what with my hip hurting and all, and Judy wanted an iced coffee but the coffee cart didn’t have any. Then I was feeling so sore that we all rode the bus home. Judy and Angela helped me to my apartment and Angela said she had to go check on something and I haven’t seen her since,” finished Evelyn. “I hope you find her. She did liven up the day and she seems like a fun gal but not if she’s going to go around and do things like that. I’m tempted to have words with her!”

“You’ve no idea where she might be?”

“None,” said Judy. “I tried asking her about moving in but now that I think about it, she didn’t really say much. She was just so keen to get to the shops and buy a gift. Your birthday must be soon.”

“It is,” I said. “Do you recall anything else she might have said?”

“Just a few things about downsizing and liking the area and seeking a like-minded community,” said Evelyn.

“Did she say she was planning on meeting anyone? Or going anywhere soon?”

“Not that she mentioned. Judy?”

Judy shook her head. “She’s a spry thing so I figure she likes keeping active. I told her we have badminton, croquet, and an aerobics class on Mondays and Thursdays and there’s a bus that takes us to the public swimming pool. Such a young voice too. If I hadn’t seen her with my own eyes, I’d think she was decades younger. She sounded like you girls.”

“Your eyes are terrible and you should wear your spectacles all the time,” said Evelyn. “She’s right though. Your granny does have a youthful streak.”

Since it didn’t seem like either women knew anything pertinent, I thanked them, and then thanked them some more for their birthday wishes, and told them we’d look out for them next time we were visiting.

Back in the main building, we headed for the reception desk. Eduardo had been replaced by a young woman examining her nails. “We’re looking for Angela,” I said, “Can you direct us to her apartment?”

“Angela? I don’t think we have an Angela,” she said, glancing up at us with little interest.

“I think she’s new,” I said.

“You’re not relatives?”

Continuing the grandma ruse might result in questions I couldn’t answer. “Neighbors checking in on her,” I said swiftly just as Lily said, “We’re physiotherapists.”

The young woman narrowed her eyes. “Which is it?”

“Physiotherapist neighbors,” I said.

“Pro bono,” added Lily.

“Is that a thing?” asked the young woman, frowning. She tapped on her keyboard and waited, then she shook her head. “We don’t have any residents called Angela.”

“Are you sure?”

“Are you sure?” Lily repeated, raising an eyebrow, her face mildly threatening as she leaned in.

I took a deep breath. “She might have moved in only yesterday,” I said. “Perhaps she isn’t in the system yet.”

“The paperwork would be done before then. No, we don’t have any Angela listed and we haven’t had any new residents this week. Are you sure she moved here?” she asked,

I shook my head. “Must be our mistake,” I told her and thanked her for her time.

“That’s disappointing,” said Lily as we crossed the road back to my car. “I thought we’d glean more information but now we don’t even know what this Angela looks like. I really thought I did a good thing trailing them here.”

“You did,” I assured her, “your instincts were correct that something was suspicious, and without you we wouldn’t have this.” I held up the bag with the prosthetics and clothing.

“Fat lot of good that’ll do. You can’t even wear those clothes. Next time we follow someone, let’s make sure she’s wearing designer labels in our size.” Lily glanced back at the retirement home as we walked down the driveway. “Should we stake out the place in case Angela comes back?”

“I don’t think Angela is coming back,” I said. We walked across the road and climbed into the car. I immediately regretted it with the stifling heat, rolled down the windows and stepped out, leaving the door open in the hope of cooling the car’s interior.

“Not that we’d recognize her if she did,” sighed Lily, speaking across the car roof. “What kind of person dresses up like a senior, sneaks into a senior community home, and encourages old ladies to go on a robbery expedition with her? Apart from an absolute badass! You have to find her, Lexi. She sounds awesome. I want to be her friend.” Lily clapped her hands gleefully.

“She’s a criminal!”

“And? Evelyn and Judy are right. Fake Angela definitely livens up the place.”

“Because she made them accomplices to her crime!”

“I wonder what she’ll do next.” Lily took on a faraway look, clearly dreaming about grand larceny.

“Go to prison,” I said.

“Really? That’s disappointing.”

“Maybe,” I conceded. “All I have to do first is find her.”

“At least we know she’s called Angela,” said Lily.

I looked at her and shook my head. “I think the name is as fake as everything else about her.”

“What are the odds?” said Lily and sighed.