Page 13 of Operation: CuddleDom (The Port Haven Omegaverse #9)

JUSTICE

“I, er, I need to talk.” My fist was balled up in my pocket. This shouldn’t be that hard. And the fact that it was? That was the problem. He was my fucking pack mate. I’d been halfway to a mental breakdown for a day and a half now.

Ren tossed me a bottle of water from the fridge.

He levered himself up onto the counter with his feet dangling.

We were alone in the penthouse. Mackenzie and Theo had a nest consultant appointment at Cuddle Puddle.

They felt like they needed an unbiased third opinion on how to blend their nesting styles.

They each had their own bedrooms, but were insistent on having a shared nest. They’d be home soon with dinner.

I took a few seconds to twist the cap off and take a sip.

I chanced a glance at Ren. He was unflappable as usual.

Just waiting on me. There were so many times in the past few weeks where I thought Ren should be pack lead and not me.

I’d watched other packs struggle with alphas jockeying for dominance in a pack.

It was an alpha thing, and ego and pack leads usually ended up forcing alphas in their pack to comply.

Ren was no less dominant or ego driven than I was.

There wasn’t an ounce of submission in him.

But there was deference. He never yielded, he just…

stepped aside. No, he stepped to my side.

There was a difference in there somewhere.

My heart pounded in my chest, the anxiety building with each silent second.

“Something happened… with Theo. And…” I took another sip, stalling, “I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel about it.”

“Well, you could start with how you actually feel about it.”

I rolled my eyes, but then licked my finger and awarded him an imaginary point on our imaginary scoreboard.

“Tell me what happened first.”

I felt… shy. Ren regularly had my dick in his mouth, but this felt too intimate? What the actual fuck? I was a goddamn pack lead, not a blushing teenager. Still, some weird shame or something crawled up my spine, making my shoulders tight with tension.

“Theo was giving me a blow job,” I started, my voice lower than I intended.

“Oh, this is going to be good. Where were you?” He kicked his feet.

“In my bedroom.”

“Was he on his knees?”

I smirked, but reined it in. “Not the point.”

“Yes, but I need the visual. So, our delicious little omega, on his knees for you, sucking your dick.”

“He, uh, wanted my hands in his hair. On his head…” The memory sent heat through my body, at odds with the cold dread in my stomach.

Ren gasped, delight in his eyes. “It wasn’t a blow job. He wanted you to fuck his mouth.”

“Yeah.” I felt the echo of the thrill of it. How he offered up that control and went all pliant and soft in my hands. “But then, I pushed a little too deep and he…”

“Choked on your cock.”

I looked up at Ren, leaned into the kitchen island. That was a statement, not a question. I braced for some recrimination, a dose of “how dare you do that to my omega,” but there was none there. His face remained neutral, almost maddeningly so.

“I pulled back immediately, of course. That’s not… comfortable.” My fingers tapped anxiously against the water bottle.

“But?”

“I did it again, but held him there for longer. I might have even, I don’t know, made him take more.” I held my breath.

“What was Theo doing?”

“He had one hand digging into my thigh.” The memory was vivid, his fingers pressing into me. He might have left marks if I had been naked. But the vibe of that moment… He wasn’t struggling because it was too much, it had felt like he wanted more.

“One hand? What was his other hand doing?”

I had to think about that. “He was jerking off.”

“Did he say stop or pull away?”

“No.”

“And?”

And? How does he not see the problem here? I put it in the most simple terms, frustration making my voice sharp. “I hurt him, and I liked it.”

And Ren just sat there. He tipped the water bottle back and took a long sip. Why the fuck wasn’t he launching himself at me for treating our omega like that? The silence stretched between us, making me want to crawl out of my skin.

“Theo did too.”

“What?”

“This may come as a shock, Just, and it is not limited to omegas, but some people like choking on dick.”

“But I hurt him.” My voice cracked slightly.

“Did you though?”

“You think having so much cock shoved down your throat it trips your gag reflex is comfortable? That it’s fun?” I paced in front of the refrigerator, agitation making it impossible to stand still.

“Yeah, I do. And you do too. It’s not my particular kink, but there have definitely been times where I’ve gagged on your cock and wanted more.”

“But, Theo…”

He cut me off. “Theo enjoyed it. He was jerking off, right? I will bet you every dollar in our joint bank account that it took him right to the edge.”

“You don’t understand…”

He cut me off again. “No, I understand perfectly. You don’t understand, though.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it. How is this not obvious?

“Did you harm him? You get the distinction, right, between hurt and harm? Are you forgetting some of the shit we used to get up to as kids? That one time you choked me out by accident and we thought it was hysterical. Sixteen-year-olds dabbling in breath play.”

“That’s different.” My voice was tight, defensive.

“Why? Because we’re alphas? We weren’t then.”

“Alphas shouldn’t treat their omegas…”

“Treat their omegas exactly how they want to be treated.”

Ren leaned towards me. “Look me in the eye and tell me Theo doesn’t enjoy it. All of it. That he doesn’t enjoy the dom/sub thing you have going on. That he doesn’t want to be on his knees for you.”

Well, that’s confirmation that they did, in fact, notice. Heat rushed to my face, embarrassment and something like relief wrestling inside me.

“And there you are, trying to be all suave, thinking that we don’t notice.”

“Fuck you,” I bristled at his ridiculous mind reading skills.

“Yes, please,” he replied, the corner of his mouth lifting.

“And I know exactly where you’re going next.

Just, this isn’t about Mackenzie. What the little shit did to her is a completely different thing.

Theo wants to give you control. He wants you to take it.

And yeah, probably some of that’s going to be uncomfortable.

Maybe painful if you do it right. You have to trust that he’s going to know his limits. ”

“I just don’t want to fuck this up.” The admission felt raw, scraped from somewhere deep inside me.

He slid off the counter and prowled around the island toward me, his movements fluid and predatory. He stuck his hand into my belt loop and pulled me to him. We were chest to chest, his warmth and aura seeping into me.

“The only way you fuck this up, my love, is by not being who you are. Theo wants that control over him. He wants to explore. And you need it.”

He cupped my face, and I nuzzled into his touch, sighing as some of the tension drained from my shoulders. He pushed into me, backing me against the counter. I could feel his cock rigid between us, a reminder of how easily he could want me, even now.

“I would literally kill for you, and you think gagging on a little cock is too much for me to handle?”

“Since it happened, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about…” I looked away. This admission might be too far. It might be a line for him, for Theo. Ren wasn’t about to let me run now. He pulled me back.

“Oh, now you have to tell me, given how hard your cock just got and what your aura just did.” His eyes gleamed with curiosity and lust.

“During heat, both of us knotting him. At the same time.” My pulse raced, the fantasy spilling out before I could stop it.

I watched as the realization clicked into place, his eyes going wide.

“Fuck. Not every omega can take a knot orally. That’s going to take…”

“Training,” I finished.

“Shit. Am I sweating?” He put his hand to his chest. “I’m having heart palpitations and sweating.”

My eyes snapped open as the real fear crystallized, cold and sharp. “What if I go too far?” The question held all my anxiety, all my fear of becoming some kind of a monster.

“Not going to happen,” he said, biting his bottom lip like I was a meal he was looking forward to eating. His confidence steadied me. “You won’t go too far. And if you do, we’re here to catch you. That’s what we do. Alpha.”

Fuck. Every time he called me alpha like that, it undid me.

The door swung open, and Mackenzie’s infectious laughter flooded into the apartment, breaking the intensity of the moment.

“I don’t know about you, but I think I need an appetizer first before fucking our omegas on whatever new nesting supplies they bought,” Ren said, his voice dropping to that register that made my cock twitch.

“I’m sure they picked up spring rolls,” I replied, relief washing through me in a warm wave.

“Hm, maybe we need to fuck first,” he said, stroking me through my pants before smacking me on the ass and heading for the living room.

He spun suddenly and grabbed me by the throat. “This is all good Justice. He loved it. You loved it. Work with it. Take it further. All the way.” He squeezed hard once and then pushed me towards the door and our giggling omegas.