Page 20 of Operation Annulment (Silent Phoenix MC)

I shake my head. “Wow, I’m hearing a lot of that tonight. I need to get out of here.”

This means that my father is an incredibly dangerous man. This is so much worse than I previously thought.

I kick off my broken-down heels and run out into the front yard with Jeremy right behind me. He tries to grab my arm but misses and grabs the strap of my tank top, ripping it.

It’s the final straw in what’s been an absolute banner day.

I sink onto the damp grass and wail. Jeremy scoops me up in his arms and carries me to his car.

“It’s alright, Kate. I’ll get you home.” His words are just another reminder that I’m not even sure where home is anymore.

I cry into his chest. “It should’ve been you. It would’ve been so much easier if it were you.”

He buckles me in and then goes around to get into the driver’s seat. “Easier isn’t always better, Kate.”

I sniffle. “You just heard all that, and you’re not fazed by it. Nate would have run immediately.”

Jeremy doesn’t take his eyes off the road. “Every family has baggage. This is real life—I’ve yet to meet a perfect family. You’ve just got to find the person you don’t mind sharing the baggage with.”

I nod and continue weeping silently. My emotions are all over the place. I need a solid eight hours of sleep and then a couple of pots of coffee.

He clears his throat. “How long have you been in love with Nate?”

I’m distracted when I blurt out, “Since the moment I met him.” I then cover my mouth and shake my head. “I mean, I’m not in love with him. I don’t know why I said that. We couldn’t even make dating work?—”

He cuts me off. “Kate, I saw the way you looked at him tonight. You never looked at me like that. You love him.”

I can’t love him.

I hate him.

Don’t I?

I slip my key into the lock with shaking hands. I can’t stop crying. I’ve tried, but my body is insistent on purging. Jeremy offered to come up and stay with me, but I needed to be alone.

Nate leaps off the couch as I flip on the light, and I scream in terror.

“It’s just me.” He blearily blinks at me, and then his eyes widen.

I hastily wipe at my tears as he stalks over to me.

“Jesus Christ, Kate! Did he touch you? Are you hurt?” He begins running his hands up and down my arms, and I start crying again.

“Talk to me, babe. Did that motherfucker hurt you? I never should have left you. It was a dick move.” He fingers the strap of my tank, and I realize how I must look.

I place my hand over his. “It’s not what you think. He was trying to stop me from running out of my sister’s house, but he accidentally caught my shirt.” I hiccup as another sob forces its way out.

He holds me at arm’s length. “And you were running out of your sister’s house because…”

I take a shaky breath. “Because of my d-d-dad.” I lose control of my emotions again, and he pulls me into his chest.

“Okay, babe. You’re going to have to start at the beginning.”

I wipe at my runny nose and streaming eyes. “I can’t, Nate. You’ll just leave. It’s too much—even I can barely wrap my mind around it.”

He leads me over to the couch and covers me with a blanket. “Did we or did we not promise for better or worse, Katy girl? ”

I stare blankly at him. “I don’t know, Nate. I can’t even remember getting married.”

He cracks a small smile. “Fair enough. I do recall that most wedding vows include those lines. So, humor me, and tell me what’s got you so upset—before I decide to track down the asshole who ripped my wife’s shirt and beat the shit out of him, accident or not.”

My pulse quickens at his words. “Jeremy didn’t mean to do it.”

He nods. “Yeah, you’ve said that. It doesn’t change how I feel. Start talking, babe. I’ve got to be in surgery all day Monday, and a broken hand will make my job a hell of a lot harder.”

I take a deep breath. There it is again—this urge to pour my heart out. I don’t understand it. When I told him Dakota had been in jail, he bolted from our hotel room as if it was on fire. There’s no way I can tell him everything I learned tonight.

He’d never stay.

I just got the sweet side of him back—and call me selfish, but I want more. I like this protective husband, hell-bent on ensuring his wife is okay. I don’t want the guy who sees me as nothing but baggage—or, god forbid, his ex-wife.

I need to save the drama for my mama—or father, as the case may be.

I bite my lip and try to organize my thoughts. “My dad passed away when I was young. Since the stuff with Dakota, my mother’s been—around more. I don’t know what it was about tonight that triggered all of this, but the grief just washed over me. I’m sorry I worried you; I’m just a wreck.”

It sounded a lot better in my head.

Nate surprises me by pulling me back into his chest and squeezing my back. “Oh, Katy girl. God, I fucked up tonight. I all but shoved you into that prick’s arms. Then you had to deal with your grief alone?—”

“Well, Jeremy was there?—”

He cuts me off. “Like I said, you were all alone. I’m sorry I reacted like I did; old habits die hard.”

He holds me on the couch until my tears dry and my breathing returns to normal .

“Let’s get you to bed.” He lifts me in his arms and carries me into the bedroom. Suddenly, sleep is the furthest thing from my mind.

He sets me down near the foot of the bed, and I begin stripping off my clothes as I walk over to the dresser.

“Babe, what the hell are you doing?” His voice doesn’t sound as steady as it did in the living room.

I look over my shoulder. “I’m changing into my PJs… what are you doing?”

With that, I unfasten my bra and drop it on the dresser, taking my time to find something to sleep in.

He sits down on the bed. “Uh…same.”

My jeans are the next to go, and Nate leans forward as if hypnotized.

I place a hand on my hip. “You’re not changing…”

He doesn’t say a word as he reaches behind his head and pulls his shirt off in a way that only men seem capable of doing. Then he stands up and unfastens his jeans, slowly working them down over his hips.

I bite my lip to keep from grinning when he kicks them across the carpet. With the way his boxer briefs are tented, there is no denying that I affect him.

I lose all interest in finding clothes and move closer to him, needing to touch his skin. My fingers lightly stroking his pecs is enough to break his trance, and he roughly grabs my wrists.

“Let’s stop for a second.”

I croak out a weak “Okay” before sinking into the comforter.

He begins pacing in front of me. “I just want to slow things down and get to know you better,” he says.

I gesture toward his boxer briefs. “Are you sure about that?”

He groans and runs his hands through his hair.

“No, Kate. I’m not sure, but I already know you physically.

I know you have a freckle right here—” He touches the spot under my left breast. “And I know how you like me to touch you—” His hand drops down my stomach, and my pulse quickens.

“I know the sounds you make when you’re close. ”

His fingers slip under the lace band of my panties before he pauses. The blood rushes in my ears, and I give a small moan. Nate smirks at me. I’m close, but he’s not even touching me yet.

He pulls his hand free and takes a step back. “You know what I don’t know?”

I shake my head, drunk from his touch.

“I don’t know what you were like as a kid…what your favorite food is…your best friend growing up. Any man can fuck you; I want to know you. I want to own your secrets. If we want this to work, we’ve got to take things slow, yeah? Let’s focus on the next sixty days, though—get to know each other.”

I nod, still not entirely sure what I’ve just agreed to.

He confidently walks over to my dresser and tosses me a tank top and shorts. Once I’ve changed and gotten under the covers, he slides in behind me, pulling me back against his chest.

His lips press gently against my temple. “I’m sorry about your dad, Katy girl. I would have liked to have met him and done this whole thing properly, you know?”

“Yeah,” I whisper the words because I’m afraid the truth will slip out if I speak any louder.

He wraps his arm around my waist. “We make quite the pair, you and me. I’ve never lost anyone close to me like you have, but I know about loss.

Sometimes, the littlest things just break you, reminding you of what you had.

The scars you thought were healed are ripped wide open again.

You try to tell yourself that time heals everything, but why does it hurt so badly if that’s the case? ”

I think of my life and how everything has changed overnight. My former life wasn’t anything extraordinary, but the loss still weighs heavily on me.

As sleep pulls me under, I can’t help but wonder if he’s referring to his ex or someone else.