Page 3 of Opening It Up (Humbled Superstars #2)

Lily-Mae

“ W here is everyone?” Harley called out in his warm voice.

“In here!” I replied, as Rowan and Teagan ran to the door to greet him.

I hadn’t been able to draw a full breath since the PTA meeting had disbanded, the other moms whispering quietly and darting glances at me.

“You’re so brave,” Abby had said, patting me on the shoulder. “You must be the most secure wife in the world to let him do that.”

“Yes, right,” I said. Or something like that. I wasn’t sure what I had said, honestly. Everything felt numb and blurred.

“Hi, honey,” Harley said, both boys clinging to his back as he bent to kiss me.

My husband had dark Irish coloring—tall and lean, with tanned skin and slightly messy black hair with sharp bright blue eyes and an infectious grin.

He had always made me feel so happy, loved and secure.

This was the first time in our entire relationship that the sight of him caused mixed emotions of queasy anxiety and helpless desire. I had fallen for Harley a long time ago and I had fallen hard and fast and never stopped.

“I have something to talk to you about,” he murmured against my hair. “Is it ok if we talk later?”

“Sure,” I said.

So apparently it hadn’t been a nightmare.

He really did want an open marriage.

Otherwise, he acted normally when he came home, kissed me on the forehead again, then took off his tie and played with the boys outside until it was time to cook dinner.

I could barely eat, though.

My dad Julius bounced upstairs to help Harley out. He was a diminutive 64-year-old man with a carefully waxed moustache and a buoyant personality. He trimmed his own hats and was a bit of a dandy, and a mess, and I loved him.

“What’s on the menu for today, Doctor?” he asked gleefully.

Ever since moving in with us, he’d been more than enthusiastic to help out around the home, and he and Harley’s free, easy banter made my heart tighten with dread and confusion.

This was my life and I loved it.

And Harley wanted to blow it all up?

The words kept running through my head.

Bored

Stale

Trapped

Lackluster

It sounded like Harley was done with this marriage. Like he was only hanging around for the kids.

It sounded like an open marriage was the only option to keep him. And that was almost unfathomable to me.

I was unpinning my thick blonde hair from its bun when he came into our bedroom.

“How was your day with the boys?”

I wanted to scream.

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something?” I gritted out.

“Yes.”

Harley hesitated, his eyes on me.

Get it over with

“Lily-Mae, we have a good marriage, don’t we?”

Oh no

“Of course,” I said, because it was less embarrassing than saying of course I was head-over-heels, madly, deeply, wildly in love with my brilliant, charismatic, outgoing husband.

“I’ve been thinking of ways we could take our marriage to the next level. Something unexpected, unconventional, something to get us out of the rut we’re in.”

We’re in a rut? I wanted to scream, but my throat felt dry and scratchy.

“It’s something that will take maturity and open communication between us, of course, but I know we have that kind of relationship, Lily-Mae.”

Did we?

Those brilliant blue eyes looked down into mine as he gently stroked my shoulder.

I clasped my hands together to keep them from trembling.

“What are you suggesting?”

I knew exactly what he was suggesting. Knew with the way he was gently stroking my hair and patting my leg that he thought this was going to be a shock to me.

Well, it had been a shock to me. Four hours ago.

Now I was just numb.

Harley smiled, and I knew he had been hoping I would ask that.

“Have you ever considered. . .an open marriage?”

I felt like I was wading my way through quicksand, dread and fear leaching any bravery from my bones.

My heart pounded as I stared at him.

“Of course, I don’t want to pressure you into anything,” Harley said. “This is just something to consider.”

Hanging there, unsaid, and I wondered if Harley even was conscious of it was. . . otherwise, our marriage is going to be in trouble. Otherwise. . . maybe we’ll split .

“All right,” I said.

“You don’t have to decide right away,” Harley reassured me. “You can think about it for a while. I have a few books.”

“It’s fine,” I said, trying to get my heartrate down. “I don’t need to think about it.”

Surely if I was calm and collected, and mature , of course, he would see that this was a bad idea. Maybe we could even laugh it off.

What a silly idea. Of course he wouldn’t want to do that. He loved me too much to want me to date other people.

But Harley didn’t laugh it off.

“It would help us learn more about our desires and who we are as people.”

“So you desire having sex with other women?” I asked, my cheeks burning.

The horrible sick feeling in my gut would not go away.

This wasn’t a joke. He really meant it.

Harley frowned a bit.

“It’s not about having sex,” he said reprovingly. “It’s about increasing our communication skills and deepening our commitment to each other in a sustainable way.”

The words all sounded good, very professional. But somehow they weren’t put together the right way.

“Monogamy is really a very modern, patriarchal idea,” Harley added as he began to unbutton his shirt. “Humans were not designed to be monogamous, it’s a very repressive construct.”

Was that how Harley felt? Repressed?

“Is that something you want to explore with me?”

His strong fingers were gentle on my chin as he tilted my face up so he could look into my eyes.

My betraying skin heated up at his touch like always, as he bent to kiss my lips, gently, sweetly.

“It doesn’t mean I love you any less,” he whispered. “Love is an infinite resource.”

What was I supposed to say to that?

If I wanted to keep him, there was only one option.