Page 26 of Open Secrets (Infidelity #5)

So I shrug again, sharper this time. “What do you want me to do?”

Her lips twitch into the tiniest smile. “Be honest.”

I press my tongue against my teeth, tracing the edge like I might bite through it. “Maybe…” I mutter, “I’m a little annoyed that he saw her. Often.”

Dr. Nina stays quiet, the silence pressing in.

It makes me restless. I get up, pacing, throwing my hands into the air.

“Fine, I’m pissed, okay? I’m pissed! I mean—God—you would think a man who’s only seen one woman naked for fifteen years would—I don’t know—want variety at least!

But no, instead he gets into a relationship.

A whole damn relationship ! What even is that? ”

My voice cracks, too loud for the calm office, and I realize I’m standing in front of the window, glaring at my reflection like it’s got the answers.

She says softly, “Would you have preferred he sleep with various women instead of one?”

“Yes!” I snap, spinning around so fast my hair whips my face. “Yes, I would. That would mean it wasn’t about me.”

Her brows lift slightly. “In what way?”

I turn back toward her, leaning against the window sill like it’s the only thing holding me up. My voice comes out jagged. “One woman. If he wanted one woman, then what was wrong with me?”

I gesture to myself, my hands shaking. “I’ve had four kids—but I’m fit. I still get looked at. Men still flirt with me. Young men , even. I work out, I take care of myself, I don’t—I didn’t let myself go.”

The words choke, tumble out too fast. I swallow hard and look away, out at the parking lot below, where cars glide in and out like nothing in the world is broken. “So if he wanted one woman, why wasn’t it me?”

The silence stretches, long and heavy. My chest heaves, and suddenly I’m furious at myself for even saying it out loud.

Dr. Nina tilts her head, her voice even. “Have you shared this with Lyle?”

I shake my head so fast it almost hurts. “No. Every time I try, I can’t. I just—” My throat tightens, the words clawing their way up. I throw my hands up and spit it out like venom. “I just end up calling Cece a bitch .”

The word echoes in the calm of the office, too loud, too ugly. I press my lips together, cheeks burning, but I don’t take it back.

Dr. Nina doesn’t flinch. She just watches me, waiting.

“I know you’re not supposed to blame the other woman,” I mutter, twisting my hands in my lap. “She wasn’t the married one. But she is the blackmailing one, so I’m not taking it back.”

Dr. Nina’s mouth curves, not quite a smile, but something gentle. “I never asked you to. In fact, if I were in your position, I might’ve chosen some… much worse words.”

A surprised laugh slips out of me, wet and shaky. The relief of not being called out loosens something tight in my chest.

But then she tilts her head, her voice quiet. “How do you feel about your dad?”

My stomach drops. I look down at my hands, wishing she hadn’t gone there. “He’s gone,” I whisper. “He’s still here, but… he’s gone. And I never got to talk to him.”

The words scrape out of me, raw, trembling.

“The reason my dad and I had that fight—the last real fight—is because he asked me if I regretted the abortion. About lying. And I said no, because I didn’t.

Only now I realize…” My throat burns, tears stinging.

“I realize he wasn’t asking if I regretted what I did.

He was asking if I was sorry for something that never even happened.

He thought I aborted a child Lyle wanted, behind his back.

And it couldn’t be further from the truth. ”

Dr. Nina leans in, her voice soft but steady. “If your dad knew—the real story—what do you think he’d say?”

I shrug helplessly, blinking fast. “I don’t know. The reason I exist is because my dad convinced my mom not to have an abortion. I think when he asked me, he was thinking about that —about himself, about his story. Not me.”

Dr. Nina’s gaze doesn’t waver. “Or maybe it’s because he loved you so much. That was his frame of reference. That was what mattered to him.”

I nod, tears sliding down before I can stop them. My voice breaks on the words. “He did. God, he did. My dad… he loved me more than anything. And now he’s just—” I swipe hard at my cheeks. “Now, I won’t ever get to tell him the truth.”

The room is so quiet I can hear the clock ticking on the wall, every second stretching longer than the last.

Dr. Nina waits until I finally look up at her. Her voice is calm, deliberate.

“Maria, our time is almost up. But before you go, I want you to try something. I want you to imagine what your dad would have said if he’d known the truth.

If he’d understood that the decision you made wasn’t careless or cruel, but about your future.

About survival. About building the life you have now—the kids, the career, the marriage. ”

My throat tightens, my fingers digging into my knees.

She leans forward just slightly. “Now, I want you to take that same honesty, that same courage, and sit Lyle down. Tell him how you feel about his past. Not with sarcasm. Not with blame. Just the truth. The way you wish you could have told your father.”

The words settle heavy in my chest, terrifying and impossible. But they also feel… right.

I nod, slowly. Because I know she’s not wrong.