Page 16

Emmie

Hiding, that’s what it feels like. We’re hiding from the rest of the world and enjoying being in our own little bubble.

And I’m not complaining, because the longer I stay here at Kai’s place, the less likely it is I’ll see Landon.

Besides, we’re making up for lost time, and the last three days have passed in a blur of tangled limbs and eager kisses.

Kai backs into the room holding a tray of breakfast items. He places them on the bed, and I sit, staring at the different pastries whilst salivating.

We’ve pretty much had the same routine since I got here.

Breakfast in bed. Shower together. A film in bed, not that we actually watch it because we’re too busy with each other.

And then we talk, often until the sun sets.

“I thought we could venture out today,” he says lightly, before biting into a pastry. I stare wide eyed, and he sighs, “Emmie, we can’t stay in here forever. We both have lectures tomorrow and it’s best we face the world before then.”

He’s right, I know that, but I don’t feel ready. “I was thinking of skipping the lecture tomorrow. It’s not a big one and I can read someone’s notes.”

“And what about the next one, and the one after that? Landon will still be there.” He takes my chin and forces me to look him in the eye.

“It’s going to be hard, I get that, but he won’t speak to you, Em.

He won’t even look in your direction, I promise.

And I’ll walk you to and from class every time. ”

I narrow my eyes, “What do you mean he won’t talk to me, how do you know?”

“Just trust me.” He places a kiss on the tip of my nose. “Now eat something so we can shower, and then we’re going for a walk.”

The fresh air is nice; I’ve missed my runs these last few days. And as we walk hand in hand, I feel different. Happier, maybe?

It’s not until we turn the corner and walk right into Landon, that I freeze. My breath catches and as our eyes connect. I realise his are bruised and swollen. I frown, but before I can speak, he’s passed us, and Kai is practically marching me forward. “Wait, what was –”

“He deserved it,” Kai snaps, continuing to speed walk.

I pull my hand free and stop. “What have you done?”

He turns to face me, and he’s got that look in his eye, the one I hate from before that makes him look too confident. “It wasn’t me.”

“But you knew about it?” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, suddenly looking less sure of himself. “Kai?” I demand.

“I knew after, yeah.”

“I didn’t want that,” I snap.

“He needed to know what he did wasn’t okay.”

“Who decided that?” I cry. “And who else did you tell?”

“Just Noah. And Zara.”

“Phone,” I snap, holding out my hand. I’d freely handed it over when I arrived at Kai’s so he could monitor my messages. I wasn’t able to deal with Landon.

Kai reluctantly hands it over. “I didn’t ask you to tell anyone else. It was my business.”

“Okay, I’m sorry. But Noah warned me about him, and I was just letting him know he was right. And Zara, well, she was out of her mind with worry once I explained to her what Landon had been saying. She needed to know I’d found you and you were okay.”

“What had Landon been saying?”

Kai looks away. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me.”

He hesitates, then says quietly, “He saw the video. The one from home.”

My stomach drops. I feel like I’ve been punched. “H-how?”

“He must’ve found it online.”

“Oh my God.” I press my hands to my head, my pulse racing, breath shallow.

Kai steps closer, his voice low. “It’s why he wanted you, Em. He saw the video, and he liked what he saw.”

I type a text on my phone to Zara.

Me: Are you home?

Her reply is instant.

Zara: Yes x

I head in that direction. “Where are you going?” Kai calls, rushing after me.

“Home,” I snap.

By the time we get there I’m out of breath, but secretly glad Kai followed me, because if Landon is here, I don’t know what I’ll do. I find Zara in the lounge eating noodles. The second she sees me she sets them down and wraps her arms around me. “I’m so glad you’re okay.”

“Is Landon home?” I ask, glancing around like he’ll suddenly jump out. She frowns, looking past me to where Kai is. “What?” I ask, warily.

“Didn’t you tell her?” she asks him. “Landon decided to move out.”

“And go where?”

She shrugs. “Do you really care? I’m glad he’s gone. I didn’t feel safe after what he did.”

“We just saw him. He’s all beat up.”

She smiles, “Noah did a good job.”

“Noah?” I ask, gasping.

“Along with some friends. Look, Em, don’t tell me you feel sorry for him, he deserved it.”

“I didn’t want everyone to know,” I admit. “I didn’t want them talking about me.”

I hear Kai groan and then he wraps his arms around me from behind and nuzzles his face into my neck. “Emmie, it’s not the same as before. What he did was wrong, but it wasn’t your fault.”

“And neither was what Bella and Luna did,” I point out.

“Nobody is talking about you, Em. No one is laughing.”

I settle back against him. “I don’t want anything else to happen to him, Kai. I think he gets the message now. Let’s concentrate on us.”

He kisses my cheek. “Okay.”

“Great, because there’s a poetry night tonight, and you two are coming along,” Zara announces. “And I don’t want any excuses. We need to broaden our minds.”

Kai

I never thought I’d willingly be at a spoken word night. Yet here I am, perched on the edge of a folding chair in some dimly lit Uni café that smells of burnt espresso and second-hand clothing, listening to a guy with a nose ring talk about heartbreak using only ocean metaphors.

Seb leans in close. “Do you think he’s ever seen the sea?” he whispers, grinning.

I smother a laugh and nudge him with my elbow. “Shh. Respect the art.”

Zara snorts beside him, and I catch Emmie’s smile from across the table. She’s hugging her knees to her chest on a bean bag, wearing an oversized brown cardigan, which slips down one shoulder. Her hair is tied up in a claw clip, and the tendrils spilling from it frame her beautiful face perfectly.

She claps politely when the guy finishes, and so do I, a beat too late. She notices and grins, before leaning closer. “Why did you agree to this?”

I laugh. “Because you did, and I want to be anywhere you are.”

“Careful Bank’s, people will start to see the softer side,” she says, her tone teasing. And for once, I don’t care. As long as she’s happy, I’ll go to the ends of the earth.

A new poet gets called up, some girl who looks like she cries to Joni Mitchell, and I zone out halfway through her intro because Emmie’s laughing quietly at something Zara said. And I love that sound. It’s my favourite.

“Wanna get a drink?” I ask her when there’s a break between poets.

She nods, unfolding from the floor. “Sure.”

We walk up to the café bar, “What are you having?”

“Hot chocolate,” she says, giving me an unsure glance as if she expects me to mock her.

I place my arm around her shoulder and kiss her on the temple. It’s a small move but one I know reassures her and she smiles up at me. When the server comes over, I order. “Two hot chocolates.”

When the drinks come, we each take one. “Are you enjoying it?” she asks suddenly. “Tonight?”

I look over at her. “I’m enjoying being here with you.”

She smiles wider. “Me too. It feels right, doesn’t it?”

I nod in agreement. “Why do you sound surprised?”

She shrugs, the cardigan falling some more from her shoulder. “When we were hiding out at your place, it was easy to pretend everything was okay. I wasn’t sure if you’d still feel the same once we were out in public.”

My heart aches and I close the gap between us, forcing her head back to look up at me. “What are you talking about, Emmie?”

“Look at you,” she says, with a slight smile. “And look at me. I bet half the girls here tonight are wondering what the hell you’re doing here with me.”

I hate how down she is on herself. I wonder how much that has to do with me and my ex-friends from back home.

“Em, you’re fucking amazing,” I say firmly.

“You’re worth ten of every single girl in here.

You don’t even notice the way guys look your way.

It takes everything I have not to start punching random dudes for staring at my girl.

” A blush creeps over her cheeks. “I love you, Em, and I only have eyes for you.” I kiss her until I’m satisfied every female in here has witnessed it, and when I pull back, Emmie is breathless.

She giggles. “I love you too.” The words roll from her mouth so effortlessly, much like they did from me, and I wonder if she feels their impact in the same way I do.I wrap my arms around her, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.

“We’re staying for another half hour and then we need to make our excuses and leave, it’s been far too long since we’ve been naked together. ”

We’re halfway through our drinks when someone says Zara’s name.

“Oh my God,” she breathes, eyes widening as she turns to Seb. “I signed up when I was drunk last week. I thought they forgot.”

“They didn’t,” Seb says, clearly trying not to laugh.

Zara’s already gone pale, but she stands. “Well. Guess I’m doing this.”

I watch her walk up, shoulders back, chin tilted like she’s daring someone to laugh. But I can tell from the way she twists the paper in her hand that she’s nervous.

The room quiets, and Zara steps up to the mic. She takes a breath then clears her throat.

“Erm, this is called, Twenty-something.”

No one told me being twenty-something

would feel like being a half-written sentence

–too long to be young, too short to be grown.

I pay bills with shaky hands

and make dinner from freezer food and impulse.

I smile like I have it together,

but sometimes I cry myself to sleep

missing the safety of my childhood

the world feels too loud.

I fall in love with people who text back late,

and dream about cities I’ve never seen,

and wonder if my parents felt this lost too

–or if they were faking it just as well.

I’m not who I thought I’d be by now.