Page 35 of Only the Wicked (The Sinful State #1)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Rhodes

While she mulls over working together, I resume pacing the room, each step measured and controlled—masking the storm raging inside me.

I believed in the protective measures we’ve taken. I believed our creation wouldn’t harm. But we’ll see what we find. She’s working off rumors.

Sydney.

How did I not see it? Calculated lies.

I’m such a fool.

I need air. Space. The walls of this suite are closing in.

Through the window, I can see the storm has moved beyond the Capitol, lightning flickering harmlessly in the distance. The thunder is a distant rumble. Wind gusts still bend the trees, but the main system has passed—and right now I need the space more than I need shelter.

Without so much as a backward glance, I exit the suite, blindly heading to Lower Senate Park and its shaded paths. The air is charged but warm, the storm’s retreat leaving only restless wind in its wake.

I want to shout. Scream. Break things.

Instead, I claim a park bench and let my head fall back, feeling the wind cool my overheated skin. The phone in my pocket vibrates. The slight buzz grounds me. Comforts, in a way. Work awaits. I can lose myself in work, but to what end?

What did Nana say? You’re going to find someone who gives you a reason to have a life outside of work.

Huh. Instead of reasons to lose myself in the work. That’s what she meant.

Ah, Nana . Come to think of it, I should let her know I landed. It’s not something I always do, but I’m usually pretty good about touching base when she knows I’m traveling. And I have no desire to return to the hotel.

She picks up on the third ring.

“Rhodes. Is everything okay?”

“Does something need to be wrong for me to call?”

“No, it’s just we’re not scheduled and you usually text.”

Ah, she’s right. But I also rarely find myself sitting on a park bench.

“How’d your Mahjong game go?”

A young woman jogs past, earbuds visible, ponytail swishing. If she had dark hair, she’d resemble Sydney.

“Didn’t win.”

“That’s too bad.”

“We don’t always win, Rhodes.”

The phone pressed to my ear irritates the skin, a reminder I’m out of my element. I dig in my pocket for earbuds, pop them in and switch the call over.

“Are you by yourself now?”

“I am,” I answer, gaze on the branches overhead.

Silence falls between us, and I know she’s giving me time to process, time to say what I need to say. She’s always been good like that. But I can’t talk to her about this.

“What’s her name?”

The question has me staring at the phone in my hand with disbelief.

“I wasn’t born yesterday.”

I snort, and if I wasn’t so pissed, I’d probably laugh.

“There is a woman. Or was.”

“What happened?”

“She lied.”

“Did she have a good reason?”

“Does that matter?” The words come out sharper than intended.

“In my experience, yes.”

“But Nana, she’s been pretending this whole time. Everything between us—” I stop, unsure how much to reveal. “I trusted her.”

“Oh, honey. That sounds painful.”

Why did she lie? Because she actually thought I might leak information that would get people killed. And then she slept with me. My free hand, the one not holding the phone, squeezes into a fist.

“Oh, Rhodes.” She says my name with a gravity equal to grief.

“What?”

“I promise you; you will find someone who wants you for you. Not for your money or what you’ve accomplished.”

“Oh. No. That wasn’t it.”

“Then what was it?”

How do I explain this to Nana?

“There are rumors about me. Or, I guess, about my company.”

“I can see how. I have trouble understanding what you do, explaining to my friends, that’s… I might be starting those rumors come to think of it.”

I scratch my jaw, amused. “Funny,” I say, knowing she’s making light of the situation. “No, um, she was hired to investigate me.”

“Are you in legal trouble?”

“No.”

“Good. I know you’d never break the law.”

I bend my neck to the side, stretching the muscles. She’s always had faith in me.

“But now this girl, this lady friend?—”

“Sydney. Her name is Sydney.”

“Did she investigate you for personal gain?”

“No,” I’m quick to answer. “Not… You know how I’ve told you my system can decipher large amounts of data and can find relevant information.”

“Like finding a needle in a haystack.”

“Exactly. Well, my company isn’t the only source of needles. But a needle out there hurt some people she cared about, and Syd’s trying to find the source of that needle.”

“Oh, well, you should help her. If people she cared about were hurt…”

“But she used me to get information.”

“Which damaged your pride, your ego. That’s painful. Did she hurt you in any other way to get it? Put you in danger?” I pause, thinking of her concern for my safety, her genuine worry.

“No. Actually, no.”

“Then help her.”

“I’ve offered.” I stormed out, but I did offer.

“Of course you did. My grandson is a good person.”

“I try to be.”

“You are.” I suspect if we were in the same room she’d pat my shoulder.

“And it sounds like this Sydney might be a good person too.”

“She lied to me.”

“That is unfortunate. But it doesn’t sound like she lied to hurt you or for her own personal gain, at least, not in a greedy way.”

Silence reclaims the line, and I let it, choosing to sidestep Nana’s unstated implication that Sara was a greedy one. She never liked my ex.

“You know, the Greek gods typically did not forgive. That didn’t work out so well for them.”

This time, I do chuckle. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well, they were so focused on punishment and revenge that they created more problems than they solved. Meanwhile, the planet moved on to other belief systems—ones that embraced forgiveness and redemption.”

“And I’ve been acting like Zeus throwing lightning bolts,” I admit.

“Just an old lady ruminating. But you’re not a god, honey. You’re human. And humans get to choose growth over grudges. I know you’ll make the right choice. You always do.”

Do I? This time, maybe I will.

“I should probably head back. Love you, Nana.”

“Love you, too.”