Page 41
Marcos
Nate looks so much like his father, it’s jarring—like peeking twenty years into the future and knowing exactly how he’ll age.
Looks seem to be the only thing he inherited from his parents, however, as neither his dad nor his mom have much more to say than his uncle did.
Nate rules the conversation as a one-man show, telling stories about hockey and having everyone laughing as he does.
I’m incredibly grateful, as it feels like he’s taking some of the heat off me.
It’s clear his parents love him and are proud of him, and also clear that they don’t quite understand my presence in their son’s life.
“That went good, didn’t it?” he asks me as we climb back into the truck. I hadn’t truly appreciated how fucking big this place was until I asked if we should walk to dinner tonight and Nate told me it’s over a mile of distance between the loft and the main house.
“It did.”
“Sorry if I talked too much. I was nervous. ”
I put a hand on his leg and he immediately drops his on top to give me a squeeze.
“I was glad you did. I’m not very good at meeting new people.”
“I’m just really fucking happy that’s out of the way,” he admits, puffing out his cheeks as he breathes out hard.
“When I told them about being bi, I could tell they were confused. Uncle Jes was just like, ‘okay, whatever, as long as you can still toss a hay bale, I don’t care,’ but my parents didn’t get it. My dad asked if I was sure.”
I grimace. He hadn’t mentioned that to me, after he came out to them last week and we’d spoken on the phone.
“But now they’ve met you, and they can see for themselves how great you are. Now they’ll know exactly why I’m sure.” He glances over at me and squeezes my hand again. It feels like he did it to my heart.
Two days here, and it has become extremely obvious to me that I love him.
Two days here, and I’m imagining how I might fit in for months.
Years. I’m imagining welcoming Nate back home at the end of every day, smelling the sweat on his skin and seeing the smile that’s always on his face.
In two days’ time, I’ve had enough daydreams to plan our entire life together.
Falling in love with Nate was a little like stumbling while walking down a hill. I tried to catch myself, but eventually gravity won.
“So, yeah, super glad that’s over with,” he finishes, sighing. “Do you want to go fishing tomorrow? Have you ever been fly fishing before?”
“I’d love to, and yeah. But I could pretend not to know what to do, if you wanted to teach me.” He tips his head back and laughs. “Will the baby be okay while we’re gone? ”
“The baby will be okay,” he confirms. “I’ll let Jes know what we’re up to and he’ll handle it. What should we do tonight? Do you like cards? I could teach you how to play Peanuts.”
“Sure.”
He glances at me. “Unless you’ve got another idea?”
“I was sort of hoping you might want to fuck me,” I offer.
“Your idea,” he says swiftly. “Definitely your idea.”
“Nah, let’s play cards,” I tease, and earn myself Nate’s approximation of a glare.
When we get back to the loft, we stop to give Tuna his dinner before heading upstairs. Nate hums under his breath as he pulls off his boots and drops them by the door with a thump. As he walks over to the kitchen, he yawns.
“I slept like shit last night,” he admits, filling a glass of water. I tug off my shirt, and can feel Nate’s eyes on me as I go to the closet to drop it in the hamper.
“Worried about dinner?”
“Yeah. I can’t even tell you how much better I feel right now.”
“I’m glad.”
I don’t hear him put down his glass, and am surprised when hands bracket my hips. As always, the contact is above my clothes, even though I’ve already got my shirt off and am only wearing jeans. I turn so that I’m facing him, and place my own hands on his shoulders.
“Where can I?—”
“Anywhere,” I tell him, and he swoops down to kiss me. Permission granted, he runs his palms up my sides and back down to my hips, letting them rest on the unclothed portion this time.
“I’m nervous,” he admits .
“I know.” The look on his face back when I’d first told him I usually top is one I’ll not forget anytime soon.
He’d looked so uneasy, and the expression was one too close to fear for comfort.
I’ll never bring up the possibility of him bottoming again.
I can’t imagine anything worse than making him feel as though he has to do something he doesn’t want to do. Something that frightens him.
“It’s dumb,” he says with a small shrug. “It seems like anal is this huge thing, you know? Like, you have to do it, or something.”
“I know,” I repeat. “But we don’t; you don’t have to. We can have sex the way we want to, and if that doesn’t include anal, then that’s fine. I didn’t miss it before I met you, and I don’t miss it now.”
“Really?” His shoulders relax under my hands.
“Really. I never did it very often, anyway. I guess I’m old-fashioned and save it for the people I really care about.
” He smiles. This close, I can see gold flecks in the green of his eyes, as though they were meant to be hazel but couldn’t commit to it.
I brush a thumb underneath one, across his cheek. “Yes or no, it’s up to you.”
“Yes,” he says, smiling.
He pulls his shirt off, but leans back down to kiss me instead of continuing to undress.
I can always gauge what Nate’s in the mood for by the way he does it.
Tonight, the way his lips slide against mine, smooth and gentle, feels at odds with the insistent press of his dick against my leg.
Tucking my hands between us, I undo his belt.
“Give me a second in the bathroom,” I request. “Do you have lube?”
He pulls a bottle out of the bedside table, and tosses it to me before sliding his jeans down his legs.
In the bathroom, I finish stripping and get the prep done as fast as I can.
I don’t like the way lube feels against my skin, and too often, letting someone else do this only leads to a mess.
I want tonight to be about Nate, and not have to worry about my stomach heaving if he goes a little heavy-handed on the lube.
When I finish in the bathroom, he’s waiting for me on the bed, lopsided grin in place as he looks at me. He is unfairly beautiful, even with the insane farmer’s tan lines on display.
“You’re so beautiful,” he tells me, which makes me chuckle as I join him on the bed.
“I was just thinking the same thing about you.”
He pulls me on top of him with hands cupped around my face, and we melt into one another.
Minutes of kissing leads to the slow, even rocking of hips.
My balls tingle and I can feel Nate leaking where our dicks are rubbing along one another.
I stop moving. If we keep this up, we’ll finish before we’ve even had a chance to get started.
“I love doing that,” Nate whispers, breathing softly. I smile as I kiss my way down his neck. I know he does. Of all the options on offer, he would choose to rub off on one another every time.
I haven’t truly had a chance to slow down and enjoy his body, so I do so now. Careful, exploratory touches and indulgent kisses so I can learn how he tastes. I knew he’d be nervous about this, and I want to be the one who shoos the worry away.
Unable to reach much of me from where I’m languidly sucking his dick, his fingertips dance over my shoulders and through my hair, restless. Pulling off of him, I sit back on my heels and run an appreciative hand up his leg.
“We don’t have to use a condom if you don’t want to,” I tell him .
“Are you serious?” he asks, sitting up and touching my chest, although his eyes remain firmly on mine.
“You’re the only person I’ve been with since we met at that party. Since long before that, actually.”
“Same.” He thinks about it for a second, knuckles now brushing down my stomach and grazing my cock. “You’re sure?”
“If you want to. We both have to agree, though.”
“I want to. I really want to.” He punctuates this with a flurry of kisses across my cheeks, startling a laugh from me. When he cups my ribs and directs me on to my back, I tip my chin so I can kiss him on the mouth while I do so.
Again, our bodies fall naturally into a steady slide against one another, his weight pressing me firmly into the mattress. My skin tingles with awareness of every place we’re joined.
Nate kisses a loving trail down my neck, licking the hollow of my throat.
Lifting my knees, I press my heels into the bed and widen my legs.
He groans as he settles more comfortably into the cradle of my hips, rocking against me in a mindless search for friction.
Instead of stopping him, I let him do as he pleases, content to wait and see where he wants this to go.
Finished with my neck, he presses his mouth back to mine, kissing me like it’s been years and not minutes since he’s done it.
I slide a hand into his hair, eyes open so I can see the glint of gold threaded through the brown.
He groans like it feels good, so I do it again, tipping my head to the side to change the angle of our kiss and eyes falling closed once more.
It feels like half the night has passed by the time his fingers brush against my leg. I can taste the return of the nerves on his tongue. Running my palm down his back in a soothing glide, I lift my legs without any further prompting from him.
“Are you sure?” he whispers quietly enough that I can barely hear him over the beating of my heart.
“I’m sure.”
It’s been a long, long time since I’ve done this, and it takes a conscious effort on my part to relax.
The pressure isn’t pain, exactly, but it’s pain-adjacent and that’s not usually something I enjoy bringing into the bedroom.
I breathe out slowly, bearing down as Nate puts a hand between us and guides himself through that first tight ring of muscle.
Table of Contents
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- Page 41 (Reading here)
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