Page 65 of One-Time Shot
I ran through the quad and into town on streets marred with dirty snow piled at the curbs. Passersby did double takes at the wild man cutting across traffic. A few even called my name. I ignored them and raced up Malcolm’s street, panting as I slipped into his building behind a resident and took the stairs two at a time.
“Malcolm!”
He opened the door, giving me a curious once-over. “Did you run here?”
I licked my lips, my chest heaving. I nodded…or I thought I did. I was too busy drinking in the sight of Malcolm in his pressed khakis and a light blue V-neck sweater. If I didn’t know him so well, I’d assume he was freshly showered and ready to start the day. But his eyes were red, and lines of worry etched his brow.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
He shrugged off my apology. “Don’t be silly. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Actually, it was.” I stepped around him and into his plant-filled apartment. “Is Layla here?”
“No, she’s at class. I have to go soon too.” He lowered his gaze, wringing his hands nervously. “I’m not well-versed in the art of letting go. Please excuse my inadequate speech. I want to thank you first and foremost for being so…so kind. I didn’t expect to like you so much or to think of you as a friend, let alone dream you’d become more. You’ve been the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time, and I’ll cherish these days for the rest of my life. I hope you?—”
“Stop.” I sucked in a breath and released it, now that I finally had the lung capacity to do so. “Are we breaking up?”
“We’re not technically boyfriends, but…yes. We can’t be together, Jett,” Malcolm said miserably. “We can’t be friends either, and I’m sorry for that. An association with me is detrimental to your well-being and your career.”
“And that’s why you sacrificed yours? Was that for me?”
“I…”
“Why did you do it?” I pressed furiously.
He blinked as if confused by my reaction. “You have a contract. You’re a star. Everyone knows you’re special and the ones who don’t yet…well, they have something to look forward to.”
“Jesus, Malcolm.” I raked a hand through my hair and paced to the window. “My coach said you ‘fixed’ this. He said you have a crush on me and that someone’s lucky camera caught you acting on that and thatIwas a victim and?—”
“And everyone will believe it.”
“But it’s not the whole story.Ikissed you.”
“They’re less likely to believe that our attraction works both ways,” he replied in a small voice.
“But it does. You know how I feel about you,” I rasped.
He folded his arms, his lips quivering slightly. “Yes, but…no one will understand us, and that’s okay. It’s okay, Jett. You have to think of your future, think of your career, think of your dream. It was always going to be this way. Let’s say good-bye now. Please.”
I shook my head no as a wave of desperation unlike anything I’d ever felt washed over me. I wanted to melt against the wall, sink to the floor, and disappear. But he was holding the door open, and it felt like he’d twisted a knife in my stomach.
“No. This isn’t right. You want me to walk away like we were nothing and…and what happens to you? You’re a TA, Malcolm. They could accuse you of inappropriate behavior or?—”
“I’ll be fine,” he insisted.
“What about the textbook? What about?—”
“I’ll be fine,” he repeated. His tortured expression was the opposite of fine, but he was so resolute that I didn’t know what to do or how to make him hear me. “If it doesn’t work out, I’ll get another shot. But you won’t, and I won’t be the reason your dream didn’t come true.”
“Malcolm…”
He opened the door wider and looked away.
My heart shattered in my chest. It literally fucking hurt. I stumbled into the hallway, tears clouding my vision.
I made it outside as the second wave of pain hit me—this time, like a ton of bricks. I leaned against a tree, swallowing around the lump of emotion blocking my airwaves.
What now?