Page 38 of One Golden Summer
“Children are more honest to themselves. We knew what we wanted back then. Everything was much simpler.”
“Too simple. Because when people grow up into adults, they turn into selfish gobshites.” Saffron included herself in that category but ticked thescaredshitlesscolumn for good measure, because wasn’t that the real reason she forged on the path of misery.
“Not everyone. Yes, Echo hurt you. She did something foolish, and because of her actions you felt like you did when our parents were raving drunks. Out of control. You hate that feeling, yet you keep making decisions that feed the fear.”
Had Saffron said the part about fear aloud? Or was Ginger using her sister connection to dislodge the truth. Curious, Saffron pressed, “Like what?”
“Keeping Pearl. You’ll never be in control of your life as long as she’s your agent.” Ginger sliced a decisive hand in the air.
“You really think I should fire Pearl?” If only it were that easy.
“That would be a step in the right direction.”
“What would I do?” Saffron pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs.
“What do you want to do?”
“I only know acting.”
“Luckily, you have the resources to take time to figure out stage two of your life, if you so choose. When we were kids, you wanted to be an artist.”
“I am.” Saffron snorted defensively.
“In the field our parents found acceptable. Even though they derided yourdoodling”—Ginger made quote marks in the air—“you still sketch whenever you have a free moment.”
Saffron blew a raspberry. “That won’t pay the bills.”
Disappointment and frustration practically drifted off Ginger. “Stop ducking behind your walls. We’ve already established you don’t need the money. What’s your real fear if you quit making movies? That you’ll slow down enough to realise you want to spend your life with a special someone? Not your Hollywood girl squad, but a woman who knows the true you?”
“I don’t know. I can’t see that ever happening.” Was that still true? Before Sandy Cove, Saffron thought so. But now?
“I think you can, or you’re starting to get glimpses here, and it’s scaring the shit out of you.” Ginger went to her sister, kneeled down, and placed a hand on each knee. “Come out of your Saffron Oliver fortress. Join the real world.”
“It’s hard to let the walls down. Not after—”
“Would you advise me to never date again? After Dave?”
“I’d hate for you to spend your life alone.”
Ginger slanted her head. “I don’t want that for you either.”
“How can I truly open my heart?” Saffron needed guidance in this department.
“One teensy tiny step at a time.”
“What’s the first step?”
“Admitting you like Kirsty.”
Saffron snorted and gripped onto the arms of the chair, tapping her fingertips. “Just because you want me to like Kirsty, doesn’t mean I actually do.” Why was she denying her feelings?
“I want you to see what’s right before your eyes. A woman who is about as genuine as you can get. She’s nothing like Echo, who is still all over your socials. Why is that?” Ginger’s eyes pierced into Saffron.
“You know the reason.”
“Pearl,” Ginger muttered.
“She’s desperate to keep theGirl Racermagic going to keep raking in the big bucks.”
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