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CHAPTER TWO

Tom

“Hi, Mom,” Tom said as he strode into the kitchen. She was washing dishes, and Tom wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.

“My, but someone’s in a good mood today,” his mom, Alice, replied in greeting. “Dinner will be ready in a few minutes.”

Tom hadn’t worked at the Whale that day, so he’d stayed at school after his last class to study for a while in the library. “I talked to a guy in my Calculus class today, and we’re gonna set up some times to study together,” Tom told her. “Hopefully, it will help both of us pass that class.”

“I don’t know why you took that in the first place,” Alice said, wiping her hands on the hand towel near the sink. “It seems that all you do is complain about it.”

“You know I’m considering a degree in engineering, and my advisor suggested it.” He sighed. “But who knows, if I don’t do well, I may need to think about switching majors.”

“I know you’ll do fine, Tommy; now wash your hands, then set the table for me, please.”

She pulled a casserole dish out of the oven and set it on a trivet in the middle of the small table in the kitchen’s corner. The only time they ate in the dining room was for holidays, so it had become a catchall space for Tom to do homework and Alice to keep her sewing supplies.

The aroma of the chicken pot pie wafted through the kitchen, and Tom’s stomach grumbled. “Smells delicious, Mom.” He pulled the pitcher of ice tea out of the fridge and saw a bowl of salad there, so he grabbed that as well.

As they tucked into their meal, Alice asked, “So who’s this guy from your Calculus class? Someone you know from another class, or is this somebody new?”

“I’ve seen him around before. Kind of a friend of a friend, but today was the first time I talked to him. His name’s Will. He works over at Bradley House B and B.”

“You’ve got that look on your face, Thomas Dawson. Don’t you go falling for him,” she warned, using his full name so Tom knew how serious she was.

“He’s just a friend. Well, not even that yet. Just a study partner,” Tom protested.

“I bet he’s cute, though, right?”

“Well …” Tom started. His mom had never had an issue with him being gay. She just said the same thing she’d have said if he were interested in a girl. Don’t get serious, Tommy. Relationships always end in heartache. They’re not worth it. She was still so bitter about her marriage to Tom’s dad. He was no longer around, having cheated on her for several years before she finally “threw his sorry ass out,” as she told it. Tom honestly didn’t know if his mom had really thrown his father out, or if he had just left of his own accord. He didn’t think it really mattered anymore.

Tom had been four at the time, and he vaguely remembered seeing his dad a few times after that, but eventually, he stopped showing up. When Tom got older, his mom said his dad had moved away, and good riddance to him. She did a great job raising Tom, and while they didn’t have a lot, they had each other. They made do with what they did have, and overall, life was pretty good. Sure, after high school, Tom worked for a few years before he started college—mostly to save up a little money—but he had convinced himself he needed time to figure out what he wanted to do anyway.

“Yeah, he is kinda cute, but don’t worry, Mom,” he continued. “I just want to pass this class, okay?”

As he got into bed that night, he thought about what his mom had said about Will. It was true that he’d been eyeing him for a while.

He remembered first seeing him last year in the student lounge. He’d been eating his lunch, just like today, while reading some textbook—Tom couldn’t remember what the subject was. It didn’t matter; he only saw Will.

Short brown hair, chocolate eyes, and just the hint of a beard. He’d been wearing a V-necked shirt of some kind, and Tom could see some dark hair peeking out from the collar. Every so often, whatever he was reading would cause a smile to light up his entire face. Yeah, Will was definitely hitting all of Tom’s buttons for sure.

Relationships never worked. He knew that not only from listening to his mom all these years, but from his own experience with Derek. Derek the Dick. He’d taught Tom more than he cared to think about regarding relationships.

Sure, it had started off nice enough. Derek had been a couple of years older than him, and in the beginning, he cared—or at least seemed to care—for Tom. As time went on, things began to change. Derek got more demanding of Tom’s time, always expecting to him to be at Derek’s beck and call. But it wasn’t reciprocal. If Tom tried to initiate a date with Derek, the man either wouldn’t reply to a text or say he wasn’t available. He often went out with other friends and rarely included Tom in his plans. And when he did, Tom felt compelled to go, even if the time was inconvenient or the friends weren’t his favorites, lest he incur Derek’s wrath.

Looking back, Tom supposed he should have seen the warning signs, but at that point, he had just been so happy to have a boyfriend, he had ignored all the bad things that were happening. Soon, Derek grew tired of Tom and broke it off with him. Alice, of course, was unsympathetic. “What did you expect?” she asked him. “Relationships never work. Gay or straight. It’s just the way it is.”

So he guessed his mom was right. Relationships never worked out, did they? It certainly hadn’t for her. Dad had walked out and pretty much never looked back. Some days, Tom wondered if he were still alive. Probably, he figured. Mom wasn’t even fifty yet. Even if his dad were a few years older than that, he still should be alive, right? Did he have a new family somewhere? Did Tom have half brothers or sisters? Crap! Why did his brain always take him down these crazy paths? It didn’t do any good to think about what might be, or what might have been. The simple fact was that Dad was a loser.

He finally fell asleep, hoping that just once, he might find someone with whom a relationship might last for more than a month or two.