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“My point ,” Aidan repeated, humor lurking in his eyes, “is that I lost her once. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through, and I pray I never have to experience it again.

But, you see, I would do it all over again.

Because having her, even if only for a slice of time, is infinitely better than never having had her at all. ”

Colin leaned forward. “It’s different for me, MacWilliam.

So much different. I would search high and low for your and Emma’s kind of love, if it were only my happiness at stake.

But it’s not. The other person in a relationship with a Protector is tied to them forever.

Forever . That means she’ll never have a chance at happiness in a future life if I were to try to make her mine.

And if I never try to make her mine, she’ll never know that pain. So you see…I can’t.”

Aidan regarded him thoughtfully. “If you claim your soul mate, how do you know she won’t find you in the next life? Or the one after that? Or in whatever happens once we leave this earthly plane?”

Colin sighed heavily. “It doesn’t matter.”

Aidan’s face hardened. “I understand your heartache, Colin. But it’s time to fish or cut bait.

The poor lass can’t know heads or tails with you—one moment you’re kissing her, and the next, you’re pushing her into another man’s arms. Then you’re not being truthful with someone who is genuinely interested in making a life with her.

It’s unfair, and it’s not right. Get your head on straight, make your decision, and stick with it. ”

“You don’t understand—”

Aidan slid out from the booth, pity etched into his expression. “Oh, I do. I absolutely do.” With a tip of his head, he left.

Colin grabbed his phone and sent a text to Candice. Bad service. Second date is a go. Then he opened his laptop and booked himself the first available flight out of Dublin.

He brought his beer to his lips again, but he was left staring at the bottom of a pint glass as empty as his chest.

“You’re terribly quiet,” Reginald noted as they strolled. “Is everything to your liking?” He solicitously held an umbrella over the both of them as the rain poured down.

Ellie didn’t have the heart to tell him that her right arm was soaked from the runoff. Instead she gave him a reassuring smile. “Everything’s wonderful. I’m just feeling a bit melancholy. Probably the weather.”

“Shall we head in here for a cup of tea?”

Ellie glanced to where he pointed and nodded her assent. The little bell tinkled above their heads as they entered, and he shook the umbrella outside the door before closing it behind them.

The smells of the shop assaulted her senses, and at the sight of the complicated espresso machines behind the counter, her mind conjured up an image of Colin’s beast in his kitchen.

She imagined herself curled up on his comfy couch, a book in her hand as she sipped a cup of steaming tea, the fire popping and crackling before her.

Colin would be next to her on the couch, his arm across the back of it, the other holding the remote as he watched something on television, rain pouring outside the window.

“There’s a smile!” Reg boomed, shaking her from her daydream. “Tea fixes everything, even rainy-day blues.”

It was their third date, and Ellie was more convinced than ever that she could make a contented life with Reginald. He was a decent man. He tried too hard sometimes, but she thought his heart was in the right place.

She didn’t have a heart anymore, so it didn’t really matter if hers was.

Reg ordered them tea, and they sat at one of the little tables closest to the bakery display case. He chattered on about his latest software release—Ellie couldn’t comprehend exactly what he did in his career, but he seemed to love it.

“How’s the bookshop going in your absence?”

“Oh. Very well, I think. My employee, Norman, has been doing a bang-up job of it. He managed to secure a Canadian author to launch her book in our store. It’s quite exciting.”

The barista delivered their drinks, and Reg stirred his before placing his spoon on the little dish. He took a deep breath. “This isn’t working, is it?”

“What?”

“This. Us. I really like you, Ellie. I think you’re funny, and beautiful, and just about the smartest woman I’ve ever known. But you’re holding a part of yourself back, and I’m beginning to wonder if you’ll ever fully let me in.”

Flabbergasted, Ellie knocked her biscuit off the table. She quickly retrieved it, her mind racing to form words that would tell him otherwise.

She knew the moment Reginald realized she couldn’t refute his words. His face fell, and a sad smile graced his mouth.

And Ellie realized that was how it would always be.

She swallowed with difficulty, then met his gaze as bravely as she could. “I’m sorry, Reginald. The truth is that I’m not holding a part of myself back; it’s more that I’ve given a piece of myself away, and I might never get it back.”

He pressed his lips together and gave a quick nod, then let out a breath. “I appreciate your honesty and your grace about it, Eleanor. But please forgive me if I leave now. I thought we had a connection…something real. I can see now it was one-sided.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

He chuckled, though it was tinged with sadness and self-deprecation. “Don’t be. Lord knows I deserve it. I’ve been a cad to more women than I care to remember. In fact, this might be just desserts.”

“Don’t say that,” she implored, reaching across the table to lay her hand on his wrist. “Don’t. Whatever you did before, you’re a decent man now. I only wish I could reciprocate your feelings.”

He closed his eyes, then lifted her hand and kissed the back of it. “Whoever holds your heart is one lucky bastard.”

She smiled sadly at him, and he walked out of the tea shop.

He didn’t look back.

Ellie glanced at her ringing phone, noted the Celtic Connections number, and promptly declined the call.

She had no interest in hearing about her next potential match.

She didn’t blame Candice, her new matchmaker, for trying so hard. All Candice knew was that she and Reginald hadn’t worked out, and that Colin had “some personal matters to attend to, and would be unable to continue on as your matchmaker for the near future.”

Personal matters, Ellie scoffed inwardly. Absolutely, let’s call avoiding the woman who threw herself at you “personal matters.”

“Was that your new matchmaker? Such a shame you and Mr. Montgomery didn’t work out.” Winnie accepted a cup from Alan with a nod of thanks. “Answer her calls, Eleanor. Let the woman do her job. She wants to see you happy, just as we all do. Mr. Montgomery— ”

“You can use his first name, Winnie.”

If Winnie detected the note of anger in Ellie's voice, she didn’t acknowledge it. “Of course I could , but Reginald is so forward. Mr. Montgomery is more polite, especially as I have never met the man.”

Ellie shrugged. “Our culture has evolved enough for such a thing to be acceptable, you know.”

Winnie lifted her chin. “Evolution is overrated. Alan, is evolution overrated?”

“If you say so,” he intoned.

Ellie stuck her tongue out at him, and he gave her a mischievous grin back before leaving the room.

She and Alan had always been thick as thieves; growing up, Alan snuck Ellie treats on the nights she was sent to bed without dinner, and they’d shared many late-night cups of milk over the years.

He was a sweet man who loved both her and Winnie like family.

Ellie had long ago accepted her aunt’s eccentric demand that Alan be a traditional butler, and how Alan played the role simply to please her.

His devotion was nothing short of admirable.

Ellie often wondered if it was devotion, or something deeper. When Winnie wasn’t looking, and Alan thought no one was looking, his face said it all. Ellie had never known what it was before, but now, having experienced it firsthand, she recognized it immediately.

Love.

“Now, as I was saying, you may have to kiss a few frogs—”

“Let’s not discuss it,” Ellie interrupted Winnie.

“Oh, no, let’s. We never discussed how badly Andrew broke your heart, and that destroyed your world for the better part of a decade.”

Ellie shook her head. “No, Winnie, he didn’t break my heart. ”

“You could’ve fooled me.”

Ellie smiled a little. “I was smitten and swept off my feet,” she continued slowly. “I was in love with the idea of love, but I know now that I wasn’t in love with Andrew Beaufort.”

Winnie looked at her curiously. “And how do you know for sure?”

Ellie swallowed hard. “Because I’ve experienced real love, and it’s a lot more painful than anything Andrew could’ve ever done to me.”

Her aunt’s eyes filled with compassion. “Oh, Eleanor. Can it be saved?”

Ellie dashed a tear away. “I don’t think so.” She drew a shuddering breath in an attempt to bring her emotions under control. The now-familiar ache in her chest resurfaced. “I gave it everything I had.”

“Are you certain?”

Ellie gave Winnie a watery smile. “I told him I loved him…and he told me I could never make him happy.”

Winnie’s sharp intake of breath reinforced Ellie’s certainty.

Ellie forced a bright smile. “It’s for the best. I deserve someone who loves me back.”

“Bravo,” Winnie exclaimed with a clap. “Heartbreak is never easy. And it’ll hurt for a good, long while. But let Candice try her hand at easing the pain. If for nothing else, the dates will be a necessary distraction. And Mr. O’Rourke needs to know that you won’t wait around forever.”

“Who said it was Colin?”

Winnie rolled her eyes. “Eleanor. I might be old, but I’m not dead. Anyone with a modicum of sense can see that you two have a connection. I knew he was the one for you the first time I met him.”

“At the press conference?”

“Oh, heavens no, dear. Before that, he came here to discuss my article. He sat right in that chair you’re sitting in, and claimed I was blackmailing him! His determination was quite refreshing.”

Ellie clenched her jaw, and she asked the question, even though she knew the answer. “ Were you blackmailing him?”

Winnie looked affronted. “Of course not! I merely put forth a set of my own requirements, in order to write an article that put his business in a better light.” At Ellie’s motion to explain, she added, “Requirements for your special someone.”

“Such as…?” Ellie encouraged her. Though she didn’t doubt Colin’s words, she needed to hear them directly from her aunt.

“The details remain a bit unclear—”

“She demanded that you experience true love that would sweep a girl off her feet and never put her down. She also expected a title, and threatened that if the man ultimately moved you away, she would ensure his business failed.” Alan, who had appeared silently, finished refilling the teapot, then tapped his head with a finger. “Steel trap.”

“Wow,” Ellie breathed, both at Alan’s memory and her aunt’s deviousness. She swung her gaze to her aunt, who had the grace to look abashed.

“Before you judge my motives, think on this, Eleanor Rose. You know that I have more money than I know what to do with, and that I could fly you back here whenever you wanted. Where you live is not as important to me as to your happiness. But—and listen closely, love, for it’s a big but—if a man were to come in and sweep you off your feet, and make you fall in love with him so spectacularly that you wouldn’t be able to tell which side is up, that man needs to prove that he is worthy of your love.

You would need to know that you would be his heart, just as he would be yours.

If there’s one thing I know, it’s stubborn men,” Winnie informed her.

“Colin O’Rourke ranks in the top three most stubborn men I’ve ever met.

If your love is worth less than his company, then he’s not worthy of you. ”

Ellie closed her eyes, pain lancing through her. “Oh, Winnie. There’s so much more to it than that.”

“He’ll come to his senses soon enough, Eleanor, mark my words.”

If he was just a businessman, you’d be right, she thought miserably. But he has obligations that are bigger than me. Bigger than us.

She and Colin were over; in fact, they never truly began.

Of course, she knew now that he had feelings for her—she imagined a man didn’t kiss the way he did her unless there was something more powerful than a mere liking to drive it.

But when he told her she couldn’t make him happy, he was completely serious.

His career was important to him. She saw it in the way he worked, the way he interacted with his clients. His personal life was dedicated to protecting generations of O’Rourkes before and after him.

No one could make him happy. But he could make others happy, and it was enough for him.

Ellie wanted to be an important part of his life, but to be his everything, as her aunt had all but demanded, was unrealistic.

Ellie didn’t check her tears as they fell. Of course Colin didn’t know any of this. Her aunt, in her very misguided way, sealed Ellie’s fate before it even had a chance.

“Oh, Eleanor, he’ll come around. Just give him time.”

Time . The one thing that would forever keep them apart. She nearly choked on the irony.