Page 15 of On Everything 2

Cashmier

"Castle Hill. What is he doing over there?"

I closed out of the Air Tag app on my phone and sat up from the lean I'd been in for the past few hours.

I've watched the whole season of The Hunting Wives twice, and if I watch it anymore, I'm sure I would too fall for Margo Banks and turn lesbian just like my girl Sophie.

I for sure get her character, and not because of her want for other women, but because of how lonely she seems and her yearning for something exciting.

I, too, felt neglected emotionally and physically, and that's why I've done half of the shit I've done behind Hov's back in the past. Staging that kidnapping was a cry for help that I'm not sure worked at this point.

He still seems to be distant and distracted by something or someone.

I know Hov would never share his location with me voluntarily, so I had to find a more innovative way to keep up with him.

This morning, I left Air Tags inside his car, as I've had enough of wondering where Hov is.

Because of his lifestyle, I genuinely worry about him, but since the money is good, he wants me to be quiet.

Hov's ass makes so much money a day that I've heard he has it stashed in different places all across the city.

It's funny because my father always preached that a college education was the key to unlocking wealth.

Hov had, however, proved that it can be done in other ways.

He just dropped five hundred thousand dollars on me when he could have said fuck me and his child.

“Hold on, wait.”

I spoke out loud because that single thought about the robbery in my head reminded me of something so critical that I stood up.

The stud chick and the other guy, Elijah, who I had stage the kidnapping, live in those projects, so that must mean that he is over there right now, most likely taking them out and coming for me next.

"Fuck, am I about to be next?"

I talked to myself out loud, pacing back and forth as the thoughts raced in my head a thousand miles per hour.

"Fuck that, I should just go now. I should just leave."

I ran into the bedroom where all of my Chanel suitcases and tote bags were sprawled across the floor. This condo was a mess in just a few days, with Hov not allowing any visitors here whatsoever. Without our cleaning lady cleaning up twice a day, I see now how much of a mess I make.

My whole life growing up, I've had what I wanted, been where I wanted to be, and made moves on my own terms, no matter my age.

I remember being five years old, making my father go out in a storm to get the right Gucci bag to carry to my birthday because I felt like he got the wrong color originally.

Or when I had him take back my new car for my sweet sixteenth birthday because I told him cars are so 19th century, and I would much rather have my own driver instead.

So, he did that. He did everything I asked of him because he was so career-driven that he wasn't emotionally available to me, but he made up for that by giving me gifts and providing me with whatever I wanted.

I watched my father give the boys he mentored, like Hov and Crew, more emotional attention than he ever gave me when I was growing up.

He taught me at an early age how to replace my actual feelings with material things that I could hold close when I feel alone.

While throwing all my clothes, personal hygiene products, and electronics into the bag, I heard three knocks at the door that made me jump.

Knock knock knock

Oh fuck, is that him already?

Running out of the room into the hallway. My pace was slow at first until I remembered Hov wouldn't knock on the door. He had a key to come inside.

When I looked through the peephole, I backed away from the door and thought for a few seconds about whether I should open it or not.

I wasn't scared because I felt he would do something to me for Hov.

I know how big Hov is on handling his own debts, as he often talked in code.

I know what most of that shit meant, though.

Twisting the locks, I opened the door, and that boyish half smirk that sat on Crew's face was both annoying and innocent at the same time.

"Damn, it took you long enough to open this mutha fucker."

He walked into the apartment, and I shut the door, putting my hands on my hips.

"What do you want, Crew? I'm busy."

"Well, I can see you're not busy with cleaning."

He picked up a pillow from the floor in front of him.

"Whatever. What do you need? Did Hov tell you to meet him here?"

"Nah."

I followed behind Crew, who went straight to the refrigerator, grabbing one of my water bottles.

He stood in the fridge with it open as he downed an entire bottle like he ran over here instead of driving one of his many cars.

Ever since I've known Crew, he drinks water like that.

He often said he was just hydrating his soul for its first class trip to hell.

Crew was more unhinged than Hov if we are being honest.

"Hov doesn't know I'm over here. He's in the Bronx handling some shit." Crew went to the pantry grabbing a bag of one of the only snacks we had in there, Skinny Pop popcorn.

"What business does Hov need to handle in the Castle Hill Projects. Doesn't he have people like you to do his dirty work?"

Crew laughed as he opened the popcorn, spilling a few onto the floor.

"Oh, he's doing dirty work, alright, but it's none I can handle. How the fuck do you know he's in Castle Hill anyway?"

He threw the popcorn into his mouth.

"He told me."

"Yeah fuckin right."

Crew didn't believe me, but that's because he knows Hov doesn't tell me anything about his whereabouts or dealings in the streets.

All he ever tells me is, 'I'm handling business Cash,' or 'I'll be back in a little while,' just like he did earlier.

I was as far outside Hov's business as one of his opps, as he calls them.

"You still haven't told me why you are here."

"I'm here to see why you're telling Hov you're pregnant all of a sudden?"

"I didn't tell him, the robbers did."

"But why did you tell them?"

I shrugged my shoulders because that answer was complicated, and I didn't feel like explaining it to him. Truth is, when I started to get nervous that Hov didn't actually care about me, I told them to use that as a ploy. It worked, Hov was ready to pay for me in an instant.

"So, you really going to have a baby and you don't know if it's mine or not?"

"I mean, what am I supposed to do? Keep having abortions and telling my boyfriend that wants kids that I just don't want any?"

"You could've been told him the truth when you met him and none of this would be going on. You know, I had you first. Shit before anyone else ever did. You made this shit messy by being greedy."

Crew rubbed his thumb and index finger on his chin with a cocky smirk.

He took pride in knowing that he was my first time many many years ago when my father was mentoring him.

At the time, he was at risk, but he was a basketball star, and in my head, he would go pro one day, and we could be together then.

I knew my dad wouldn't approve of Crew at the time, so we kept it a secret.

Crew's biggest fear back then was my father distancing himself from him because he was fucking with me.

We were together until he went to college, forgot about me, and left me heartbroken with no one to talk to about it.

I try to ignore those times and the fact that Crew was my first love and way before I ever even looked Hov's way.

"Crew, you know the truth is complicated and we've frankly waited too long to tell it. When I started dating Hov, you were already long gone in my life, and he was there for me."

"Oh, and how is that working out for you? I see your pussy couldn't lock him down either, yet you give him the grace you never gave me. Why is that?"

I walked up to him and slapped fire from his face. Only he and Hov could get this type of reaction out of me because I try my hardest to be a fucking lady.

Crew held his cheek and smiled menacingly before something in his eyes snapped and he grabbed me around my neck forcing me to the wall.

"What did I tell you about putting your hands on me? Huh? I'm not Hov, I'll kill you even if you might be pregnant with my baby."

"I know, and that's why I fucking hate you. I hate that I even reconnected with you, but that was always your plan! You knew I was vulnerable. You played on that shit and have been doing it still for the past year."

He then let go of my neck and walked to the couch, where he took a seat.

"Vulnerable, or I walked in your apartment while you were playing with your pussy while your man was off playing with someone else's?

Remember how it went down, I caught you, and you didn't stop.

You had an orgasm right in front of me like I wasn't even there.

I admit, it was the sexiest shit I'd ever seen.

You started some shit, too. I can't get enough of watching bitches fuck themselves now. "

I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms because trying to outwit the most smart mouth fucker I know wouldn't ever work.

"Crew, you never respected me and Hov's privacy. Who walks into someone's home without knocking on the door?"

Crew sat up in his seat and scoffed before shaking his head.

Just looking at him, I couldn't ignore the fact that he was so damn cute and has been since I met him: that crooked smile, that caramel skin, those soft ass lips.

Hov's outer appearance is damn near perfect, but that didn't mean Crew is to be slept on.

Especially with that leg he has in between the two that he walks with.

They were both trophies on my shelves and sometimes I wish I could have them both.

"Why are you just standing there staring at me for? You need to be telling me when you're getting rid of this baby."

"And what if I don't want to. What if I would much rather do something else right now?

Taking a few steps towards him on the couch, he sat back in his seat, keeping eye contact with me as I mounted him in his lap and placed my wrist on his shoulders.

"What the fuck are you doing, Cashmier? I didn't come for this shit."

I reached into his pants, trying to grab his dick, but he pushed me off the top of him. When Crew stood up, he adjusted his shirt back over the top of his boxers and walked to the door.

"It's over between me and you, Cashmier, and you know you are playing a dangerous game, having a baby that you know could be mine."

"Well, there is a fifty-fifty chance it is, and I'm taking it because, besides what I've done with you, I still love Hov to death. He's who I really want to be with and you Crew, are just someone who I fucked when I was bored."

He chuckled slightly before he shook his head.

"Remember that regardless of what Hov finds out about us, he and I will still be brothers. You on the other hand getting dropped like a mixtape."

Crew walked out of the door and then I ran up behind him to lock it.

Since my cover isn't blown with Hov, I'm still going to milk this pregnancy and kidnapping until he loves me the right way.

As a matter of fact, I think I'll actually clean up this place to show him that I can change for him, too. Prove to Crew and me that Hov loves me, and he just doesn't know how to love anyone properly yet.

It's up to me to teach him.