Page 88 of On a Deadline

Erin shook her head. “You can’t split yourself like that forever. One side always wins.”

“I know,” Jamie said again, softer this time. “And I picked wrong.”

The words hung there, heavier than the air around them.

Erin stopped walking. Leo noticed first, doubling back to nose at her hand. She crouched to pet him, her fingers brushing through his fur. “You hurt me,” she said quietly.

Jamie nodded. “I know I did.”

“I trusted you more than I should have.”

“I trusted myself more than I should have,” Jamie said. “And I was wrong about both of us.”

Erin looked up at her, eyes tired but clear. “You think that makes it better?”

“No,” Jamie said. “But it’s the truth. And you deserve that, at least.”

For a moment, all they could hear was Leo’s steady breathing. Then Erin straightened. “You said you loved me,” she said, not a question, not angry, just tired.

Jamie swallowed hard. “I do. I still do. Even now.”

Erin’s voice was careful. “You shouldn’t.”

“I can’t turn it off,” Jamie said. “I tried. It’s not going anywhere.”

Erin let out a breath that trembled at the end. “You can’t keep saying that and expect me to know what to do with it.”

“I don’t expect anything,” Jamie said. “I just need you to know it’s real. That it wasn’t some story I was chasing.”

Erin’s expression softened for the first time, just slightly. “I know it was real.”

“Then why does it feel like I dreamed the whole thing?”

“Because we ended it before it could turn into something solid,” Erin said. “It’s easier to remember things that never had a chance to fall apart completely.”

Jamie’s throat ached. “I don’t want easy anymore.”

Erin blinked, her breath catching. “Don’t do that.”

“What?”

“Say things like that.”

“Why?”

“Because you mean them,” Erin said. “And I’m not ready to hear them yet.”

Jamie nodded once, looking down. “Okay.”

Leo barked once, dropping a stick between them like an offering. Erin picked it up and threw it toward the fence. He tore after it, tail whipping the air.

Jamie smiled faintly. “He’s the only one who knows what to do in this situation.”

Erin huffed a laugh. “Yeah. Chase the thing you can’t catch and pretend that’s the fun part.”

Jamie’s smile faltered, but she held onto it. “He’ll get tired eventually.”

Erin nodded. “We all do.”