Page 98 of Omega's Formula
I had no intention of having sex with Erik.
The plan was simple: meet him in public, keep Ellie between us as a buffer, see if I could stand to be in the same room as him without either crying or throwing something. If that went well, maybe we could have an actual conversation. We’d talk about the baby and about custody arrangements, about how we were going to co-parent a child when we lived on opposite sides of the country.
Nowhere in that plan was “drag him back to the apartment and tear his clothes off.”
But lying here now, tangled in sheets that smell like both of us, his arm heavy across my chest and his breath warm against my shoulder, I realize how naive I was. There was never any possibility of taking it slow. Not with him. Not with this bond.
We’re a prime match. The Bureau’s algorithm doesn’t lie—that’s what they always say, and god help me, they’re right. My body knew what it wanted the moment I saw him standing by that bench in the park, bundled up in a charcoal coat with snowflakes catching in his dark hair. My brain tried to argue, tried to remind me of all the reasons this was a terrible idea, but my brain never stood a chance.
Erik shifts beside me, pulling me closer in his sleep. His hand spreads across my stomach, protective even unconscious.
I’ve spent months running from him. I even built a whole new life. I have a job, a home, a routine that doesn’t include him. I was doing fine.
Except I wasn’t. Not really. Every night I dreamed about him. Every morning I woke up reaching for someone who wasn’tthere. Every time the baby kicked, my first instinct was to tell him, to share it with him.
We’ve been here for hours. Time got away from us somewhere between the first desperate coupling and the slower, sweeter second round that followed.
“You’re thinking too loud.”
Erik’s voice is rough with sleep. I turn my head to find him watching me, those blue eyes soft in a way I’m still not used to seeing.
“Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“You didn’t.” He props himself up on one elbow, his free hand still resting on my belly. “What’s going on in there?”
I could deflect but I don’t. I think we’ve both spent far too much time refusing to talk to each other. I’m done with that.
“I wasn’t planning on this,” I admit. “Today, I mean. I was going to keep things... controlled. See how the ice skating went before I decided anything.”
“And instead?”
“Instead my plans went out the window.” I laugh, shaky. “Some things never change, I guess.”
“I know what you mean.” His thumb traces circles on my skin. “I had a whole speech prepared. Things I wanted to say, apologies I’d rehearsed. And then you were just there, and I couldn’t remember any of it.”
“What did you want to say?”
He’s quiet for a moment, considering. “That I’m sorry. There is so much I can say but that’s all it really comes down to. I behaved so badly and I’m sorry.”
“Erik—”
“Let me finish.” He meets my eyes, and there’s something raw in his expression. “You are brilliant. You are fierce. You love your sister so much that you were willing to marry someone you hated just to save her life. And I almost destroyed you becauseI was too arrogant to consider that I might be wrong.” His voice cracks. “I don’t know how to make that right. I don’t know if I can. But I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying, if you’ll let me.”
“I’m not just in town to see Ellie,” I hear myself say. “I have a scan tomorrow. They’ll be able to tell us the sex of the baby, if we want to know.”
Erik goes very still. “Us?”
“If you want to come.” I’m suddenly nervous, which is ridiculous given what we just did. “You don’t have to. I know it’s last minute, and you probably have work, and—”
“Yes.”
“Yes?”
“Yes, I want to come. Of course I want to come.” His hand presses more firmly against my stomach, like he’s trying to feel the baby move. “Nolan, I’ve missed everything so far. The first kicks, the cravings, all of it. I thought—” He stops, composes himself. “I thought I was going to miss everything. That I’d never even see the baby.”
The raw hope in his voice makes my throat tight. “I wouldn’t have done that. Kept you away completely, I mean. I was angry, and scared, but... they’re your baby too. You have a right to be part of their life.”
“Our baby.” He says it like a correction, like a prayer. “What time is the appointment?”