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It’s been six weeks since I last saw Leo. I know he’s safe or at least, I think he is. I’ve driven past his mother’s house a few times but I haven’t seen him there. I keep telling myself that the only thing that is important is that he is safe, but it’s not true.

I want him with me. Staying away from him is driving me insane, but this is the only way that I have any chance at all. I’m convinced of that now.

I need to let him come to me.

I spend the time getting my apartment ready for the baby. I was going to wait for Leo to make big decisions about the right stroller and the right crib, but I can’t wait forever.

My apartment has been transformed. Some things I’ve kept, but I’ve got rid of almost everything and replaced it with new. I want it to be comfortable for them. It might just be for an hour or two while Leo visits with my child, but even that needs to be just right.

For the first time in my adult life, I don’t work at anything to do with biology or lecturing. I don’t work on any research papers or write any opinion pieces. It’s meant to be the omega who nests, but I’m starting to think I could compete.

I’m enjoying this but I’m going to need to get back to work soon. I miss Leo. I’d like to have someone to bounce ideas off, even if he pulls them apart the moment that I open my mouth.

Especially if he does. I always liked a challenge.

I’ve just finished painting the orange beak on a yellow duck on the wall of the nursery when my phone begins to ring.

My heart does that stupid skip it always does when it rings, even though I know Leo’s blocked me on every possible platform. Still, hope is a persistent bastard.

“ Thorndike,” I answer.

“Dr. Thorndike? This is Michelle Torres. Leo’s mother.”

I stand up so fast my head spins.

“Michelle. Is everything alright? Is Leo—”

“He’s fine,”

she says quickly, and I can breathe again.

“Physically fine, anyway. I’m calling because... well, because Leo suggested I should.”

My chest tightens. “He did?”

Michelle laughs, a soft sound that reminds me painfully of Leo.

“Well, consider this your official update. He’s safe, he’s healthy, and the baby is developing perfectly.”

“Thank you.”

The words come out rougher than I intend.

“For telling me. For... taking care of them.”

A pause stretches between us, filled with everything we’re not saying. Then.

“You’re the father of my grandchild, Dr. Thorndike. Like it or not, we’re going to have to work out what comes next.”

My throat constricts.

“And Leo? What does he want to work out?”

“That’s the problem.”

Michelle’s voice softens.

“He doesn’t seem to want anything right now. He sleeps fourteen hours a day, barely eats unless I put food in front of him. This isn’t the Leo I know. The Leo I raised would be making noise. To be blunt, Dr Thorndike, he’d be raising hell.”

The image of my fierce, defiant Leo reduced to sleeping away his days makes something twist sharply in my chest.

“Is he... is he talking to anyone?”

“A few texts here and there. But mostly he just seems... lost.”

I close my eyes, pressing the heel of my palm against the ache building behind my sternum. Leo shouldn’t be lost. He should be arguing with everyone, making the world bend to his vision of what’s right. The fact that I’m the one who has dimmed that fire makes me feel sick.

“I want to help,”

I say.

“Whatever you need. Medical bills, anything—”

“We don’t need your money, Dr. Thorndike.”

Michelle’s tone isn’t unkind, just firm.

“What we need is time. Leo’s trying to figure out who he is now, with everything that’s happened. And frankly, you’re part of what happened.”

It’s true but I don’t know what to say to that.

“But,”

Michelle continues, and I hold my breath.

“you’re also going to be part of our lives whether we like it or not. So we’ll figure it out. All of us. When Leo’s ready.”

“How will I know when he’s ready?”

Another pause.

“You’ll know, Dr. Thorndike. Trust me. You know Leo. He’s not going to hold back.”

After she hangs up, I sit on the floor in the nursery for a long time, staring at the phone.

I drag myself to the shower, letting scalding water beat against my shoulders while I replay Michelle’s words.

Maybe Leo just needs rest. I certainly do. The bathroom mirror reflects a man I barely recognize. Months of irregular sleep and stress eating have left their mark. My face is leaner, sharper. There are lines around my eyes that weren’t there before.

I need my omega, just as he needs his alpha. I want to drive over there and bring him home, but I know he’ll just run away again.

There are so many comparisons of alphas with predators. We take charge. We chase. Sometimes the comparisons are over the top, but there’s an element of truth.

Right now, this alpha needs to be patient and wait. I keep telling myself there is nothing wrong with that, but it is so hard.

I need purpose. I need work. I need something to do with this restless energy that has me pacing my apartment like a caged animal. I’ve burned my bridges at the Bureau and at the university, but there are other bridges.

I head over to the kitchen, make myself a coffee and open up my laptop.

I’ve got a lot of unread emails. It’s time to start thinking about my future.

A Dr. Hoffman from the Coalition for Ethical Research, asking if I’d be interested in contributing to their upcoming symposium on consent in scientific matching.

I read the email twice, then respond immediately. Yes, I’m interested. Very interested.

There are more emails. Invitations to speak, to debate, to participate in panel discussions.

Word has gotten out that Thorndike’s position has... evolved and the media loves that.

I accept every invitation. Op-ed requests from newspapers, radio interviews, academic conferences.

A week after Michelle’s call, I get an invitation that makes me pause. A televised panel discussion about the future of designation rights, hosted by David Glass on his prime-time show. The topic.

“Can Compatibility and Choice Coexist?”

My first instinct is to decline. I was on Glass the day that my prime match notification come through and David Glass isn’t going to go easy on me. He’s going to pull out everything I said on that show and point out where I went wrong.

I accept anyway.