Page 9

CAMbrY

I 'd managed to miss both dinner and breakfast. I wasn't hungry.

Mid-morning, I took another shower. I had washed every part of me inside and out. Yet, I could still feel Niro thrusting inside me. His scent still clung to my skin.

I had slept restless. Not quite awake, but aware enough to know that Angell held me in his arms all night.

As usual, he left silently in the early morning hours, predicting the routines of the night house dads perfectly, never getting caught.

Or so he thought. But the warden knew. Still, Angell was a little slip of a thing that could easily meld into the shadows and hold his breath without effort for more than one minute.

I came out of my room and went to one of the hall fridges to grab a bottle of water. I no longer had classes and wouldn't be available for my next Mating Hall appointment until later in the week. All Omegas who serviced an Alpha in the Burn got at least three days off afterward.

Angell had work today. I'd memorized his schedule. I wanted to see him but that would have to wait. I decided to go to one of the rec rooms. Inside, a large TV was playing some movie I didn't recognize on mute. No one was in the room.

I sat on one of the comfortable couches and stared at the flickering screen, not seeing, not caring that there was no sound.

I must have dozed off because I startled when I heard the hall door open and close. Sitting up, I turned my head to look. Angell walked into the room.

He signed “hi” and came toward me.

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

He fell back into the cushions beside me. His hands moved rapidly. “Taking an early break.” He smiled and patted my hand. “I sensed you might be in here. I guessed right.”

“It's peaceful in here. Distracting.”

His hands flew in front of me. “We need to talk.”

“I don't know what to say. It's like my words are all gone.”

“You can try. You can say anything to me.”

Of course I could. I trusted him with my whole being. I turned to him. “Can you smell his scent on me?”

Angell leaned forward and sniffed at my chest. His vivid blue eyes gazed into mine. He placed his hands palm down against my shirt. And smiled, nodding.

“I didn't know it would be like that. That I'd go away and come back smelling like another. Is it really awful?”

He shook his head no.

“Tell me the truth.”

His eyebrows rose, his eyes growing rounder in a pleading expression.

Suddenly, I felt very strange, like I wanted to unload everything I was feeling into his mind in one download. The words were extraneous. It was the emotion that I needed to share. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and pulled him to me until our foreheads touched.

My breath on his lips, I whispered, “I think he got into my mind.”

He signed against me, but I could still make out his shocking words. “Me, too.”

The door to the room opened and Angell jumped from my lap to the cushion beside me. My arms fell limp to my sides. Three giggling fifteen-year-olds rushed into the room. They never glanced our way, but the peace had been disturbed.

“I have to go back to work.” Angell bowed his head to his hands. Other than signing and body language, he was emotionally closed to me.

I would have to wait until lunch to speak with him again and then we would have little privacy even if we took our food to the patio.

I stared at my chicken sandwich. It smelled fresh, looked great, but my stomach was still iffy. A few minutes later, Angell joined me. We got lucky with a table and umbrella to ourselves.

Angell had a chicken salad and soft buttered roll. He smiled softly as he sat, then reached out to steal one of my fries. His food looked like a better choice for a nervous stomach.

“Wanna trade?” I asked.

He nodded and scooted his tray toward me, then lifted mine in front of him and dug into my fries.

“How’s work?”

He shrugged, which meant “the usual.”

We made a bit of small talk. His signing was slow, almost sad. I took a bite of my sandwich, chewing thoughtfully. Finally, I put down my fork and cleared my throat, plunging straight to the point I’d been in denial about all day.

“I think that Alpha opened a bond inside me.”

Angell gulped a bite of his salad. He crunched as he signed. I used to tease him about talking with his mouth full.

“We have a bond,” he said.

“We do.” My voice shook.

“That’s why I felt it, too,” he finished, not meeting my gaze.

“That’s not—” I stopped myself. Tilted my head. “You did? Is that possible?”

His hands began to fly. “It must be. I was in your bed that afternoon after I got off work. I missed you so much. I was lying there thinking of you and I thought I’d fallen asleep and dreamed it. You were right there in front of me, your face, your body against mine.”

He signed faster and faster. I rushed to keep up with his words.

“Then there was another.” His fingers slowed. Began to spell. “N.I.R.O.” He pressed his lips into a tight line.

“How do you know his name?”

“He said it inside the bond without using his voice. I saw him and I felt him and I heard him.” He paused. “Now I smell him, too. On you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this last night?”

“Because I wasn’t sure. You were tired. Plus, I didn’t put it all together until this morning.”

“What does this mean?”

Angell lowered his head and poked at his buttered roll. He shook his head, “I don’t know.”

We’d always been close. Sometimes I knew what he was saying while only half paying attention to his signing. We did indeed share a bond. But we never really discussed it. It was simply something natural between us, and so wonderful that we didn’t question it.

I felt my breathing grow shallow. Something inside me was wilting. I let my mind reach out.

Angell looked up, eyes full of tears.

I reached out and touched his arm. “It’s not going to interfere with us. I swear.”

He signed slowly. “I refuse to be the one standing in your way for more from life than….” He glanced around and waved his hand through the air. “…than this.”

“You’re not in the way.” My voice rose. Heads turned out way. I lowered it to a whisper. “You’re the one I want. Always.”

His lips flattened. He breathed in hard through his nose. His fingers flew up. “Whatever.”

“No. Don’t say that. I’m speaking from my heart. It hurts that you would brush me off.”

His hands moved low and close to his ribs. “Maybe I’m not your destiny.”

“We make our own destiny,” I hissed the words, angry that he’d even think that. “I don’t believe in that word in any other context.”

His eyes grew round and big. “I don’t want you to throw away your life because of me.”

“That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Do you really want to live on this farm forever? Until you’re old as the warden? Until they ship you off to geriatric living?

“I want to live wherever you are,” I replied. “Forever.”

He lowered his eyes and his hands. “I’m trapped. You don’t have to be.”

I couldn’t offer him a way out. Not ever. To stay with him was my only thought. “It doesn’t feel that way when I’m with you.”

He wiped at his eyes. With tear-stained hands, he signed. “I know.”

“We had this talk.” I leaned forward. “We agreed if I worked in the Mating Hall we wouldn’t let it affect what we have.”

“We were na?ve.”

“It’s been one day.” I turned my head away. “One day.”

Angell tapped me on my arm to force me to look at his hands. “Yes, and we already have interference.”

“If that Alpha tries to contact me ever, I’ll ignore him. I swear, Angell, I don’t want him.”

Angell blinked rapidly. “I believe you.” He turned to get up. “I have to go back to work.”

“Come to me tonight,” I insisted.

He sent me a single nod.

It was anything but reassuring.