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Eighteen

T he last few days before everything would change had passed. Kamine had gone to her classes, enjoyed meals with her friends, and reread her books—but she did not seek out Grimot. She avoided him completely.

Janina and Zoya had relayed to her that he wanted a chance to explain himself. He had pulled her friends aside from class and practically begged them to help him connect with her. Kamine refused to listen. Her friends respected that decision, and even agreed with it when Kamine finally explained to them the truth about what he had done. They were angry for her, but Kamine had an underlying suspicion they still hoped that she would take the chance to listen to Grimot explain his side of things. As if they, like her, realized that he had changed her for the better. She kept telling herself that their time together wasn’t completely pointless. He did help her bring out her powers.

But Kamine felt betrayed, and no amount of words would alleviate that. She also couldn’t allow him to get in the way of her training. She needed every second remaining to prepare to face the Undertaking, and she wouldn’t waste it brooding over a man who had used her for his own gain.

“I think we’re officially the strongest cohort yet,” Zoya said, as she devoured her last meal before the Undertaking.

Kamine pushed around the mush of food with her fork, unable to stomach it. Her nerves had reached new heights, as if she were standing atop a cliff with nothing to catch her if she fell. What if she couldn’t save her village? What if something happened to her family?

“No one is as strong as me,” Roz replied from another table in the dining hall.

“We’ll let tomorrow be the judge of who's the strongest,” Janina added under her breath.

Everyone else in the room reserved their energy, and kept to themselves. The anticipation for tomorrow had built up to a high, a palpable atmosphere that Kamine could almost drown in.

“You should talk to him.”

Kamine whipped her head up to Zoya, the sudden movement causing her neck to crack. “What?”

Her friend shrugged. “You’ll regret it, especially if something happens tomorrow.”

“He doesn’t deserve any more of my time.”

“Maybe not, but you deserve the truth. There’s more to the story.”

Kamine scoffed. That man was insufferable and gross. She was na?ve to have ever believed that he had good intentions when he practically demanded to assist her. Her emotions had been high from the moment she stepped into the school, and he took advantage of that to break a curse that existed because of his selfish past actions.

But a part of her thought Zoya was right. She deserved to know why. When Kamine heard what Kestra revealed about Grimot’s past, Kamine’s heart had shattered. Kamine had her own sexual history, so it wasn’t that Grimot had slept with Kestra that made what she revealed hard to swallow. It was that Grimot cared so much for the glory that he would do anything for it. He would have rather cheat the game than win with honor.

Kamine couldn’t intrinsically understand a person like that. She never could. But, Kamine had to remind herself that everything wasn’t so black and white. What her mother had done had hurt Kamine endlessly, but that didn’t ultimately mean her mother hadn’t still loved her child. The same way that although Grimot’s actions pained her, it didn’t automatically mean that his feelings for her weren’t still strong and true. Even if his motives had been intentionally false, perhaps his feelings had changed once he’d spent more time with her, just like her own opinions of him had changed as he opened up his heart to her. Still, she had a right to be afraid of trusting him again.

“What if I don’t want to hear what he has to say?” she asked.

Janina said, “Then you don’t have to. You could decide to go to his room and throw rocks at him, just like he did to you, and we would support you. We’d even join you.”

A small smile broke across Kamine’s lips. She would never be more grateful to have the two of them during the hardest months of her life. She wouldn’t have survived this journey without them. They were her rock. Just like Grimot had become.

Kamine pulled off her glasses and rubbed the tiredness from her eyes. “Alright, I’ll go,” she announced unceremoniously. Her friends cheered her on as she left the echoes of the dining hall.

Emotions slammed into Kamine as she searched the halls, just like when Grimot had thrown rocks at her, each one hitting her in different parts of her body. Her head spun with exhaustion, her muscles ached, and her heart weighed heavily in her chest.

“He’s not here,” Headmaster Dritoria said as she came out of her office.

Kamine blinked, trying to make sense of the words. The realization that the Headmaster knew of her budding relationship with Grimot made her blush. She opened her mouth to explain herself, but Headmaster Dritoria put her hands up.

“I don’t want to know. You’re both adults who can make decisions for yourselves.” Headmaster Dritoria sighed. “He left to go back to his village so he can be with his people and family. All the professors do.”

Kamine nodded. That made sense. It wouldn’t be fair that the professors got to stay safely in the school while the rest of the court needed to face the horrors of the Undertaking.

“He looked devastated,” Headmaster Dritoria admitted. “I’ve only seen him look that way one time before. It’s when he came here and begged for a job.”

Kamine couldn’t see it, if she were honest. Grimot was always so sure of himself. It was hard to believe that he truly thought he was cursed.

“He told me that ever since his Undertaking, ever since he won, he hadn’t felt the same. That seemed to change when he was with you.”

Kamine gulped. She doubted she had such an impact on him.

“I was scared when he came to me,” the Headmaster added. “His curse was damning. I couldn’t say no.”

The curse. Kamine had been too scared to ask what it was. With him gone, though, she needed to know. “What is his curse?”

Headmaster Dritoria’s shoulders slumped. “His body is to turn to stone if your cohort fails, or if any of you cheat.”

Kamine felt the blood rush from her head, and her body swayed. She steadied herself against the wall, as her body became weightless with the truth.

“The Weather Gods are a cruel sort,” Kamine said with fervor, her voice filled with anger.

“Yet we must play their game,” Headmaster Dritoria responded.

Kamine’s whole body wanted to lay down and never get up, forget about the Undertaking, and tell the Gods to fuck themselves—but she still had more that needed done. For her mother, she would do it. For her father and brother. For Grimot, whose life now depended on the entire cohort. She wouldn’t give up that easily. The Undertaking had become more than just a competition for her. It had become her way of defying all expectations.