Page 58

I can’t even allow myself to consider the word.

Not when it carries such significant implications.

Letting Grayson into my heart, admitting that my feelings for him are more than an unsatiable desire, is too much to consider.

Bad things happen to the people I care about, and if anything were to happen to him?—

“What is it you wanted to show me?” he asks, swimming closer to me.

For all my inner turmoil, I’d forgotten why I had him follow me into the water in the first place. I stare at him for a moment, trying to ward away all the negative thoughts clouding my mind. Too much danger lies ahead for me to consider the feelings I have for him.

But this moment, right now—there is no threat. No danger destined to take him away from me. It’s just us, and I can let a small part of myself be open to him.

“This,” I say, my voice quieter than I intend as I flick my feet forward until I’m resting on my back, the warm water a cocoon holding me up. An endless blanket of stars reflects down on me. A muffled swoosh hits my submerged ears as Grayson shifts onto his back next to me.

“Before my father’s death, I used to swim out into the ocean.

Far enough away that the island’s lights were cast out and the only thing I could see were the stars above.

In those final weeks before he was captured and hanged, he argued with my mother almost every night.

And each one of those nights, the darkness became my refuge and the stars were my guiding lights.

” Stretching my arms out next to mine, I let my fingers spread wide as I move them back and forth in the water.

“I’d whisper my greatest fears and most hopeful dreams to the stars, wishing that someone might be listening out there.

That somehow, my worries would be taken away and I’d get to live a life of freedom and adventure.

I wished that I wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

That I would be strong and smart enough to escape the world my father perished in. ”

A shooting star flies across the sky, leaving a bright trail in its wake, and I find myself closing my eyes, just as I had back then, to make a wish.

“And what do you dream of now, Rowenya?” I open my eyes again and shift upward to look at Grayson. His iridescent eyes settle on me in the silence and despite him being a few feet away from me, I still feel his warmth as if his arms were wrapped around me.

What do I dream of now?

Pausing, I think about the question and realize for all my dreaming, I haven’t thought about my future desires in weeks.

So much has happened; there hasn’t been much time to consider how things will turn out if our plan goes well.

In a way, I’ve been living in the present moment.

Taking each day as it comes and feeling thankful for it.

But now that he’s asked me . . . “I dream of the wide-open sea with no place to go. I dream of Amara’s laughter and Wells’s ridiculousness.

I dream of a day when Tommy is able to fully shed the skin of his past and not feel so afraid.

I dream of a world where I no longer have a tether binding me to a terrible man. ”

I swim close enough to Grayson that I can feel the current of the water his legs kick funnel around my own.

“I dream . . . of you. And all the ways I was wrong about who you are. I dream of what it might be like if we had more time. I dream of your hands caressing my spine as you brush your lips over mine. I dream of running my fingers through the silken strands of your dark hair and the way you make my body hum. I dream of how there has never been another to awaken my soul with one kiss and utterly destroy me with the next.”

I trace his scar with the tip of my finger before letting my hand fall back under the water. “I have always dreamed of you, Grayson. You once painted the very essence of my nightmares. But now . . . Now you are my every dream. The darkness and the shimmering starlight that dances across it.”

Grayson’s lips part as he takes me into his arms. His naked body is hard against mine and for a moment, my mind empties of all that lies ahead. There is only him—only us .

I wrap my legs around his waist, feeling his length press against that sensitive spot and I whimper.

Pressing his forehead to mine, Grayson inhales deeply. I feel his body still against mine, not even his legs move to churn the water. Somehow, he still holds me afloat as I wrap my arms around him and delve my fingers into his hair, running them along the back of his neck and scalp.

“I have dreamt of you too, Little Pearl. For a thousand lifetimes, I have dreamt of holding you in my arms. Of pressing my lips to your skin.” He pulls back and plants a kiss to each one of my cheeks.

“For so long I have dreamt of this, and to hold you now . . . There is no power great enough in this world to tear you away from me.”

With the heavens as our only witness, Grayson pulls me even closer until there is no space between us.

Then he lays his lips against mine with a kiss that could end worlds and start them anew.

That ember of desire is now a bright blue flame, burning deep in my soul as he slowly caresses the side of my ribcage.

I can’t seem to get close enough to him, no matter how tightly our bodies are woven together.

As our lips part for just a moment, I see the array of stars that surround us, reflecting onto the ocean’s surface from the sky above and he is the center of it.

Mine . The word echoes around my mind as I open myself to him.

I let all the fear of losing him fade into the gentle breeze that surrounds us until there is nothing left but the pure light of my feelings for him.

That light shines with every quiet moan that passes between us.

Every flicker of his tongue against mine.

I bring him into my light. The one he claims is mine alone, but it’s not. Both of us were forged in darkness. Our souls calling to one another across the stars. And together, we shine.

Grayson waited for me for all those endless years. He dreamt of me just as I dreamt of him. And now he is mine just as I am his.

Leaning forward, I softly press my lips to his and he shudders beneath me.

I kiss away the judgment he’s had to endure from all who’ve never known him.

I kiss away the lives he’s had to steal for the sake of protecting the innocent.

I kiss away the fear that lingers in his eyes every time harm threatens to come my way.

And when every last shred of darkness is gone, I pull away and peer into his captivating eyes, silently telling him that I am here.

That nothing else matters when I am in his arms.

“Divine,” he whispers, nudging me with the tip of his nose.

“I’m yours,” I tell him.

“Say it again,” he murmurs against my cheek.

“I’m yours. Always.” Grayson growls in pleasure as I move my hips lower until his hard length is nestled at my entrance. Then I pepper kisses along his jaw, moving up to the faint ridge of his scar and I kiss that too.

He slides his hands down my back until they cup my bottom and he pushes me down, the head of his length slipping inside of me.

“Rowenya . . .” My name spills from his lips as his fingers delve into my soft flesh. He searches my gaze, a quiet question reflecting back at me.

Rocking my hips forward, I wrap my hands around the back of his neck and push myself down, taking him so slow I can feel every smooth ridge of him.

He captures my moan with a kiss as he buries himself to the hilt.

The fullness I feel from him has my legs quivering around his waist as he stills for just a moment, letting me adjust.

Then he starts to move. Lifting me up and down, the warm water surrounding us as our bodies and souls become one. Merged like the heavens setting along the horizon—never to be parted from this moment on.

Grayson deepens our kiss, bringing one hand up to cup the back of my head as he grazes my bottom lip with his teeth. Chills roam my body, blossoming anew with every thrust as I feel myself falling with only his arms to catch me.

“Mine,” he muses against my lips as he slowly retreats before sinking back into me so slowly I nearly burst from the sensation.

“Always,” I whisper back as I bury my face into the crook of his neck, tasting the brine of the saltwater that splashes onto his skin.

Picking up the pace, Grayson holds me with one hand, continuing to guide me onto him while his other snakes around to the front of my hip, where he starts tracing a line with his finger from my navel up to the bottom edge of my breast.

Leaning back, I give him full access. Every touch he skims across my skin sets my body on fire as he strokes that part of me, deep inside.

The sky falls upon me when he dips his head low, claiming my breast with his mouth. He flicks his tongue against my sensitive nipple in tandem with each roll of his hips, sending me spiraling over that edge.

I scream his name, my throat hoarse from pleasure as he pulls me back to him, our bodies flush.

Grayson slows once again, bringing his forehead to mine.

Those star-flecked eyes are fixed on me as he rides the wave of my climax.

And with one final thrust, his lips part with a roar that shatters the heavens above us, raining down glittering starlight that ignite even the farthest corners of the earth.

He doesn’t let me go as I cup his face in my hands and kiss each corner of his mouth.

The crack that formed in my chest before is now a cavern where only my feelings for him exist. They’re all consuming.

Too grand to speak out loud for words would not do them justice.

So, I place my hand over his heart and kiss him once more.

And for the first time, I understand that Grayson is more than my awakening.

He is my ruin.