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Chapter Twenty-Two

Finales

I climbed from the grave and did not give voice to my growl of frustration. Mothers were unbearable. More and more with every visit. Enter the haze, enter the haze. They would not find contentment in my choice to wait. They would not desist!

“Three mothers to go. Perhaps then they will be quiet,” I wheezed, for I was meant to be dying with the plague. King Bring was likely watching through his eyes or through the eyes of his humans.

I staggered from the grave and Valetise and Princess Raise hurried to hook my arms over their necks.

“You are not well enough to attend this royal gala,” Princess Raise said angrily.

“This plague will not end monsterdom, Princess,” I replied in a frail voice. “A queen will go on as usual.” I hacked a cough after, then sighed wearily. “When do we depart?”

“As soon as you are dressed. Pawns are very ill, Your Majesty. Do you suppose that we should write to King See and cancel?”

I stomped my queenly foot, and even in jest doing so felt very good and nice. “ We will attend the gala. ”

I made sure to think of my forty-seven ancestral mothers at the same time so that my queendom shook with annoyance. Kings might notice such discrepancies.

“I go to dress,” I declared in a feeble voice.

“At least agree to be transported in a wagon,” called Princess Take from where she entered through the gate. A large wooden float was outside for the transportation of shackled kings.

“Wagon? I can well manage horseback.”

“Yes, Your Majesty, you are the strongest and most ancient of us. You might manage any number of impossible tasks the rest of us cannot imagine.”

I allowed her flattery to work. “You would do well to remember it, but I sense the worry in you and in my other subjects. I will ride in a wagon if it might lessen the worry, though I am very capable of riding my magnificent horse.”

Princess Raise said, “Thank you, my queen.”

I sniffed in disdain. “Valetise, come now. I am eager to meet with King See again.”

“He is surely eager to do the same,” said Valetise. “How could he not when you are bottled moonlight spilled over a midnight lake?”

They half-carried me up the stairs to my chambers. Once inside, I walked on unassisted, striding toward my chambers. “What shall I wear?”

Valetise disappeared into the large wardrobe chamber to my left. “My queen, I have not rested since you accepted the invitation. You will have four outfit changes for the first night of the gala.”

“But four?”

“Four. An evening gown, then a midnight dining gown. A daylight activities ensemble, and then a resting attire, which is really a second daylight activities ensemble. You will not rest, I gather. I imagine the second night will be much the same, but monsterdom has not revealed them to me yet.”

I kept my voice and expression smooth. “A daylight activity ensemble, and two no less, would imply that daylight activities are had.”

“I would imagine very many of them,” Valetise answered just as neutrally.

We grinned at the same time.

“Even the plague could not keep me away from this.” I held up my arms as Valetise stripped away the functional suit I had worn through the grave.

As I bathed and sat to be primped and prepared, the expectation of the royal gala began to climb. Two nights and days with him. And what was he thinking right now? Did See anticipate grandness and perfection in my writhing company too?

Why had King See called this gala of monsters? I knew him enough to believe that he might cherish the unity of monsters. He had also made no secret of his heartbreaking ideas.

I had even started to see the inevitability of such heartbreak. I simply could not connect how to loosen the hold of love otherwise. Yet how could trust and respect and understanding and appreciation all survive heartbreak?

Alas, I had no better idea, but I would resist heartbreaking notions a while longer out of fear of the hold See had over me. He had been my first thought of why to return from horror itself. He might undo me at any moment.

My hands shook.

The resentful mother had laughed at the notion of me fighting fate. In my fear of heartbreak, perhaps I was. What creature would rush to it, when the one they would love had stated so clearly that heartbreak was his design?

Yet I should consider what remained without a destiny with See. Loneliness. Coldness in truth. There could be no other for me, and so if I fought destiny too hard and for too long that it faded and crumbled, then that would be the end.

I feared heartbreak, but I feared a time when our hearts might not beat in tandem more.

I tried to control my shallow breaths as Valetise and Princess Take curled and coiled my hair.

This royal gala could well be the burial ground for my intact heart. I must be a fool for rushing to him and bathing for him and primping for him. I must be, but that was not what I felt. I felt a certainty that this gala might be the last moments of innocence and naivety between me and See. This might be a celebration and a goodbye.

This must be perfect and more than the word.

How expectations climbed. They climbed and as they climbed, and my corset felt tighter and tighter, my chest felt more restricted.

“Are you well?” asked Valetise, resting a hand on my shoulder.

I rested mine over hers. “Valetise, tell me of matters with Picket. Please.”

Distract me, please.

She understood what I did not ask. “The concept of The Real End scares us all, my queen, though our faith in you is unswayable. Picket has realized the emptiness of an existence spent in duty and no more. He nears the completion of the queen’s picket, and there is more and more space in him for warmer thoughts of me.” She blushed the deepest of reds. “We have a plan to share coming daylight together.”

My chest filled with everything I felt for her and me. The breath was deeply happy and deeply sad at once. “I am so very grateful you have found love, Valetise. So happy.”

“Then why do you sound very sad?” she asked in a soft voice.

I swallowed and looked away. “Because a queen cannot love.”

I did not speak aloud of love’s weakness, nor of how the emotion consumed and colored all decisions if one dared to submit to it. Valetise would not understand, as I had not done until very ancient in connection. Even then I had resisted such knowledge, and most kings had not heeded their connections on love either. I did not wish Valetise to understand the failings of love. I wished her to love, because for an exquisite wardrobe monster, love was beautiful and simple and possible .

“A queen will feel many things that other monsters cannot dream of,” Princess Take said curtly. “She should not feel sorry for herself.”

I chuckled. “She could not in your wonderful company, Princess Take. Let us be gone.”

They departed to make their last preparations as I ambled through the lounges. Will Be and Is appeared to help me when I reached the double doors, and I was very glad not to see Has Been, such were my fragile feelings that threatened to collapse under my towering expectations of the royal gala.

Will Be struggled to breathe as he gripped my forearm to steady me.

“Are you very sick then, Will Be?” I asked.

“I am sick, my queen, but it is the sight of you that steals my breath.”

A lump rose in my throat. “My positive pawns who champion my well-being. Thank you for being the first of all my monstrous friends. I am choked with gratitude.”

A confusion rose from them. For though I was playing the part of dying queen, there was an authenticity to my sorrowful words that they could not miss.

I felt gloomy and doomy this evening indeed. There was such a smell in the air that warned of change and interruption and pain. And I staggered under the weight of all my hopes and dreams for the royal gala. “Ancestral mothers leave me in the poorest of moods these nights, dear pawns.”

“They should support you,” Is grumbled, somehow managing to pat my hand as he helped me across the courtyard to the waiting wagon.

They should support you. “That is not their duty, Is. Their duty is to…” Guide me. Protect me. Stand with me. Or against me, if needed.

I reached the open door of the wagon and released Will Be to grip the side. “But I am weak.”

“Yes, my queen,” Is clucked, playing his role well.

Or was I weak? I could not be meant to just rely on my guides and protectors to decide every move for me. What was the point of possessing queenly connection, if so? I took a breath. “I am not as weak as I thought.”

“Uhh,” muttered Will Be, glancing at Is.

“A queen will go on,” I declared, then accepted their help to enter the wagon. I said very quietly indeed. “Will Be, take care that someone minds Candor. I suspect that the subterfuge of the situation will be too much for her to contain.”

“I will see it done, my queen.”

They drew the curtains after, and I sat in darkness, listening as my subjects gathered behind the wagon. There was a shout, and the wagon lurched forward.

My stomach lurched with it, and I pressed a hand there. Goodness, I was nearly nauseous with this meeting. See was as he had ever been. Such knots over a simple royal gala.

If this was love, I wanted it gone, for I could not think of anything related to queendom with the thought of him and us and heartbreak swimming in my mind and heart.

I tried to harden and steel myself on the drive, and to put love in its proper place. Love colored all, however, so the idea of a proper place was laughable. I could not feel hard and steely if I was to feel respect and trust and appreciation.

I held my head as it pained. “This corset is very tight.”

Which was no lie. My waist was cinched to monstrous proportions. All the better for the dramatic flare of feathers exploding around my hips. They framed the glimpse of my gray sequin underwear, which was a leotard under my plunging corset. My breasts felt in danger of toppling out, which was clearly by design. King See would be robbed of focus.

There was a trickle of power, followed by a tickle of ego. Seductress . Ah , I could always rely on her for confidence. Oddly, considering the start of my monsterdom, I now had complete confidence in the allure of my dusk physique.

In her I found strength again. I latched onto her surety.

This gala felt like a goodbye. That was the issue. This goodbye was a coming together of so many factors and ploys and monsters. See might break my heart. King Bring might be conquered. But what saddened me was not those goodbyes.

In two days’ time, I must walk into the haze.

This was a goodbye because I could not be sure of my return, nor of returning as I was. There was the source of my sorrow and tight breaths and climbing needs for this gala to be perfect in every way and feeling.

“Monsterdom will never be the same,” I whispered.

There was another call, and the wagon halted for a time before lurching on a short way.

We were inside the portcullis of King See’s gothic palace.

I first came here to plead with him for a job at Hotel Vitale. My smiling lips trembled at the memory. How long ago that felt.

The wagon door opened and chalky white fingers—huge in size—curled around the edge of the curtain to slide it back.

King See peered in at me, and I met his solemn regard.

“A queen cries, and I would hear why,” he said.

Did she? I lifted fingertips to my cheek.

King See snatched at my hand after. He snapped an order over his shoulder and a glass vial appeared in short duration.

The king swiped the vial over my fingers to catch the sole remaining tear there. He pressed the lip of the vial to my cheeks to catch more. “A queen cries over me, I fathom. The rain of her heart, a rarity. I must have them as a memento.”

He spoke of mementos. Something to remember me by. This king saw so much and always had. We shared the thoughts of how this gala must be.

Relief swept through me.

“You assume the tears are for you, sir,” I said.

King See pressed in the stopper, then tucked the tears inside his embroidered black coat. “’Tis no assumption, magnificent beauty.” Only then did he suck in a harsh breath upon seeing me.

He could not have done worse than to appreciate my rare tears before my body, for then—in a swooping beat—I understood that King See loved me despite his every word and forced action.

I laughed because there was no amusement and only pain in our destiny. “I require your help to exit. Or at least that you might remove yourself from the doorway.”

My king did not unlock for the space of ten seconds, then he held out a cloak. “This would be wise.”

I took the cloak, meeting his milky gaze as our fingers brushed. He could not see the future of me, but this king could certainly see the future and present moments of others. “I should have asked you.”

King See would have been able to provide King Bring’s whereabouts.

His lips twitched. “But then you would have had your answer.”

I clutched the cloak. “I did not want it.” For then this terrible goodbye might have come sooner.

“There is something in the saying of humans where they speak of keeping your enemies closer,” King See murmured very quietly.

King Bring had hidden close to me to keep himself free of King See’s sight, I could connect. If I had known, my pawns might have fleeced the queendom with success.

I settled the cloak around me and drew the hood up, then accepted King See’s arm. He wrapped his arm across my upper back, and my feet barely touched the ground.

We stood aside and watched as shackled kings were unloaded from the float. Princess Take had transported them on their coppered panels from the conservatory, and pawns worked in mixed trios to wheel them into the palace.

“Pawns work as if they had no king,” said King See.

Toil worked with Gangrel and Has Been. Sanguine worked with Deliver and Loup. Sign worked with Unguis and Is. Huckery sat before his king and did not help at all. Princess Take lurked behind him, smirking, and likely anticipating how she would tie him closer to my queendom for his pawnly refusal. My, but what would become of him under her marshal when I entered the haze?

So much unfinished business. I drowned in the thought of it. My knees shook and King See tightened his hold, drawing me closer against his body.

My shallow breaths were no breaths at all under the heavy confines of the thick cloak.

“Let us retire within,” stated See. “The queen is very sick.”

Candor shouted, “She is?—”

Has Been covered her jaw bones with a large, white hand, and the truth of my sickness remained unuttered. How terrible this must feel to her.

King See mostly carried me into his gothic palace and did not stop in the falsehood until we had wandered to the heart of his palace. My knees had remembered their function by then, and I peeked out from my disguise to check for windows.

“He will not hear anything from here,” said King See. “He will see naught. Here kings will stay during daylight, for they are the only monsters who might seek to betray the truth of your ruse. I will lock Princess Change in my dungeons overday.”

The dungeons? Goodness.

“Perhaps she could stay here too.” I removed the cloak and draped it over a high-backed chair.

We had entered a large room that boasted several sitting areas as well as a dining table. A bar occupied one corner. I had noticed that bars often decorated King See’s rooms.

King See lowered his head, stealing my attention back. “Princess Change has been digging up your queendom in an effort to undo you, Perantiqua. She will be locked in my dungeons during the day because I wish to punish her.”

If that was not a romantic gesture, then I was unsure what was. “This is your palace, sir. Do as you wish.”

“I shall,” he answered. “A little longer.” The roguish smile that accompanied the words disarmed me, and I was hurtled back to a time when he had appeared a god to my weak human mind. How had we arrived at this place of romance and camaraderie where I understood him and where we shared small amusements? The immortal god I had first met now trusted me to be queen, even to be queen of him. Staggering. Soul-altering.

King See faced the other monsters who lurked awkwardly if they were not princesses. They must have felt very unsure of such grand company. “I welcome all monsters to my palace this night. Whether this be the beginning or end of us, let us face fate together in goodbye or together in unity for the future.”

King Change laughed under his breath. He had laughed a lot lately. He relished ruin so.

Monsters mostly murmured their agreement with King See. Sign shook hands with the pawns around him. Princess Take rested her head on the shoulder of her shackled king.

There was unity here. Unity in fear. We had each been reminded of what we stood to lose.

“I do love a royal gala,” said a gleeful King Take, glancing around from where his copper panel was set against the wall.

King Raise might agree, but his face did not confirm much of anything ever. “Might you unshackle us, Queen Perantiqua?”

“Not before our last friend is conquered,” I replied. Perhaps not then either.

A nod. “’Tis well to do so, and I do not often move very far anyway. Shackles shall suffice.”

How quaint was the life of a king. A queen had to move a great deal.

“King See,” Valetise said, approaching and sinking into a curtsey that was not as deep as the one she usually gave me. “Your palace is exquisite.”

“This palace pales beside one who is truly the meaning of the word.” His milky eyes were fixed on me.

Valetise tucked away a smile and made way for Picket and Candor to pay their respects to our host. After simple monsters were done, Princess Bring approached to squelch out her thanks for the lovely company we all might share.

I left King See to greet monsters and crossed the stone floor to join kings. I had been walking to King Take, but I altered course for King Change, more in the mood for gloomy and angry company.

I crossed my arms. “What do you see when you look at this scene, King Change?”

“A royal funeral.” He could not hide his grin.

I glanced at him. “Was there never a time when you cared for monsters?”

His grin vanished, and when he looked at me, only coldness resided in his gaze. “Do not seek my understanding, young queen. I will never give it to you.”

“That is not what I was doing. I cannot imagine ever understanding how you could wish to end monsterdom.”

“I know.” And he laughed again.

I shook my head.

“He wallows in his ruinous ideas because he cannot stand that you reduced him to shackles,” said King Take in a bored voice.

King Change looked at him. “You always were the most disrespectful and disobedient of soldiers, Take.”

“I was obedient when I agreed with the orders.” Take snickered after.

“Like I said,” growled Change.

Take’s glee did not diminish. He was much happier serving a queen, and so was Raise.

Princess Raise approached her king with a tray of small treats. “Food, my husband?”

I could not be the only one watching to see how he ate. She pressed the morsels to the space where a mouth might usually be. There was no change in his facelessness, but the morsel disappeared.

Curious.

Laughter burst from a group of pawns on the other side of the room. Not from Princess Change, of course. She was gazing woefully at her king from the bar.

“You might wish to stick to your ruining ideas, Change,” I murmured. “But do forgive a princess. She hardly stood a chance against me.”

He smirked. “Lack of forgiveness bodes better for ruin, queen of The Real End.”

“Not if you have already forgiven her in your heart,” I said. “Then it is pointless and just because you fear the opinion of others.”

The king contemplated me and did not answer.

Of all the kings I wished to throttle, he was my current choice. Though I had wished to throttle all kings at one point or another and had not. Perhaps one evening I might not wish to throttle the ruining king so much.

But it was not this night.

I joined Princess Change after, and entered the bar out of curiosity more than anything. I had never touched alcohol since trying moonshine in my early teenage years. “Would you care for a drink, Princess?”

She did not put aside numbness to answer me.

I called back the stitch that held together her hands. “Since you will have no urge to dig tonight.”

She did not reply.

“He is not angry at you,” I said next. “Not really.”

Where were the glasses?

Princess Change murmured, “I am angry at myself, though. That is enough.”

“Enough for you to keep digging for a bouquet that you will never find?”

“I am done with digging,” she said.

I cocked a brow, facing away from her as I opened the lower cupboards. Where were the glasses? “The taste of dirt does not appeal?”

“The taste of dirt is unrivaled,” the princess replied. “That is the source of life, and that is what I taste and smell when I feast upon it.”

When she put matters that way, I could see nothing strange in eating dirt. There was some profound beauty in her explanation. Though I would not rush out to feast on compost.

“I am glad you are done digging,” I said instead. “Perhaps we will find common ground in time.”

She stood and smoothed her garden apron over her bridal gown. “I will never give you that.”

I tilted my head, struck by the similarity of what she had said to what her king said not many minutes prior. They were on the same page well and truly. Perhaps withholding understanding was their last resistance. I would not rob them of the illusion.

But where were the glasses?

I crouched down and leaned forward to open the cupboard before me. Glasses! The movement was too much for my corset to continue containing what it had contained until now though.

One breast popped out, and I covered my mouth, then hurried to push it back in.

A large hand caught mine, and I sucked in a breath and looked up so very high to King See.

“Allow me,” he said darkly.

“I was trying to find a glass.” My cheeks warmed in a curious way that I would not have expected.

King See stroked fingertips over my midnight blush as he lowered. See pulled me high on my knees and drew my nipple into his mouth. His tactic did not seem likely to end in the return of my breast to the corset.

Warmth flooded me, and I gripped his black hair with both hands, upsetting his silver circlet. See freed my other breast and growled as he claimed that nipple too.

I dragged him to the floor, and he tore the crotch of my leotard, not leaving my breasts to chase breath. I lifted my hips in clear demand for him to hurry up. His fingers found my entrance, and I arched back, still gripping his hair tight.

His circlet clanged to the stone floor, and we both jerked. His eyes were fixed on me. The dwindling conversation beyond the bar floor caught up to me.

The bar floor, no less.

I blinked and removed my hand from inside his pants.

See removed his fingers and pulled my leotard back in place. I pressed my breasts back into my corset and accepted his help to sit up. See reached into the cupboard and grabbed two cups.

Conversation returned as I also stood, though there was an amused undercurrent.

Candor called, “ Everyone pretended that King See and Queen Perantiqua were not undoing each other on the bar floor.”

I released a breath. Perhaps I would not always appreciate the vocal truth.

See filled a glass with an amber liquid, and drank the entire thing. He drank another after. “ Fuck. ”

I would smirk except the desperation in me to have him was no laughing matter. “It was your idea to invite all monsters.”

“I know,” he grunted, drinking a third glass. He poured a small amount into my glass, then held it back without looking at me.

I took the glass and sipped. Smokey dusk. Long summer day. “Mmm.”

“Kindly cease your sounds,” he groaned low.

Candor stated, “ King See was so hard he thought he might explode.”

I choked into my drink. And in all honest truth, I was not always a kind queen, so I walked to stand beside him. King See turned to watch as I drank the rest. Except some spilled, of course, and I was forced to draw my fingers up between my breasts to catch the drops, then lick and suck them dry.

His glass shattered, and amber liquid exploded.

See’s milky gaze swirled with the fury of his want and need. We were going to fuck on the bar in front of all monsters.

I should care about that.

“The queen did not care about who watched her daylight activities,” said Candor.

No, I did not.

I watched as the fury in See’s gaze became unhinged. He had given up the fight. In all senses, for his circlet still lay on the floor behind me. But See had decided that the presence of kings, princesses, and pawns, and simple monsters did not matter either.

He snapped and reached for me.

And a bell rang, piercing through the room and us.

The bell rang.

“Dinnertime,” announced Princess Raise.

Dinnertime.

The bell had achieved what we could not. I peered down at my ripped leotard just as Valetise appeared.

She swept a deep curtsey. “A moment, if you please, King See. The queen must dress for dinner.”

See stalked away without a word or another glance my way. He was very undone. I grinned.

Princess Bring was with Valetise and wasted no time stretching her blob very wide and tall to form a screen. Valetise pushed the lid off a dress box, and drew out a dress of midnight. The elbow-length gloves were a translucent night mist. Moonlight shone upon the trails of small, onyx beads that lent the gown a wet appearance.

“’Tis absolutely beautiful,” I whispered to Valetise. “Stunning beyond the word.”

She curtsied. “My honor, as ever. I merely hope to always match your magnificence, while knowing that I could never do so.”

I blinked away sudden tears. “Let us dress.”

Extracting myself from the leotard was one matter, and then dressing in my new underthings took twice as long again. Slithering into the exquisite dress took the least time of all. Midnight whispered over me, and up past my elbows, when Valetise slid the gloves over my patches and stitches.

Monsters had not yet entered the dining room, waiting on me to take my spot beside See to lead the way.

See’s milky gaze stole breath and thought. “I have had five minutes to regret the excellence of my hearing. The sound of silk and bead moving across your skin is engrained in me.”

I set my hand upon his extended arm, and our hearts skipped a beat. “Let us go to dinner.”

Desire was thick between us, but once I looked upon the other monsters present, I was able to recover more strength to be a queen, and resist the urge to drag See from the room.

“If you wish to attend dinner, then you must walk in with me now,” I murmured. “Lust threatens to consume me.”

His milky gaze snapped to mine. His shoulders heaved with his breaths.

“The other side of midnight belongs to us,” I told myself as much as him.

Pawns were ready to wheel in shackled kings. Princesses waited beside their kings, aside from the princesses of Bring and Change. Simple monsters lurked at the very back of the procession.

Need for See thumped in my ears. The tandem beat of our hearts had never echoed louder. I gasped a breath, then clamped down on the sound.

Just one dinner.

I would move my feet.

I would move them now.

“No,” King See stated, so mildly that I knew at once he was in a furious rage.

Has Been called ahead, “My liege?”

King See faced me, and his pained expression—his tormented and anguished expression—stole all thought from my mind.

Candor announced, “ King See was about to break.”

“Have your dinner,” See snarled at monsters without looking at them. “I must feast elsewhere.”

See scooped me into his arms, and I was left to peek back at smirking or befuddled monsters.

A king carried me from the room.

And I did not care.