Page 24

W hen we arrived back in my bedchamber, Lukas placed me down on my shell bed so gently, it was as if he’d worry I’d break. Though my bones felt close to it. Each breath felt like a thousand horses trampling over my chest.

“There’s a poultice in a silver tin inside that wooden box over there.” I pointed weakly to a chest in the corner of my room. “Can you bring that along with a hand mirror so I can apply it?”

“Let me do it for you,” Lukas said, returning to the bed with a small silver tin. “It’s the least I can do after…” His jaw clamped shut when he caught sight of me again. His reaction made my stomach twist, and I couldn’t help the crimson stain on my cheeks.

Not that anyone would be able to see it through the bruises.

“Do I look that awful?” I asked nervously.

“No. Of course not. You’re beautiful.” The words shot out faster than arrows. “It’s just that…” He scrubbed a palm over his face, sighing. “I did this to you, Naria. I hurt you. I’ll never stop feeling that guilt.”

“You didn’t hurt me.” Gently, I took his hand before pointing to the crystals on my wrist. “These did.” I glared at them. “These and whatever foul trick Arenn was playing in the library. He wanted you to hurt me because he knew that it would hurt you.” That was obvious to me now. And I was certain Lukas would’ve seen it too, had he not been so blinded by anger.

“Still,” Lukas exhaled, popping the lid of the tin, “I’ll never be able to say sorry enough.” Pain ravaged his features while he scooped up a generous amount of the paste. I wanted to keep telling him it was fine, that I knew he’d never mean to hurt me. But my jaw ached too much to keep talking.

That was until a little thought popped into my head.

“Well, there is one way you could make it up to me?”

Lukas blinked at me expectantly.

“Take me back to the merfolk kingdo—”

“No.” He lowered his hand. “Absolutely not. We’ve been through this.”

“But Prince Raphael is dying.” I ignored the burn as I twisted my whole body to face him. “If we go back to the merfolk we can find out more about his condition. There might be a cure.”

“Naria, I won’t tell you again,” he warned.

“Then let me go alone.” My suggestion made him pale. “All you have to do is call for your cousin and she can help me.”

“I said no,” he sighed, exasperated. “I will not let you put yourself at risk by visiting there again. It was a mistake to even bring you with me to the cave, but it was the only place I could think of that he wouldn’t be able to find us. Damn it, Naria, I—” Shaking his head, he straightened. “I should’ve never exposed you to that world. The merfolk are not good people. They’re just like the fae.” His face soured. “Barely even people at all.”

Defeated, I let my body sag against the pillows. ‘ Just like the fae’ . His words were so cold, so full of hate. I supposed I could understand part of it. Queen Vearla did have some questionable morals when it came to handsome sailors. And there was definitely something wrong with Adriana. Even so, I couldn’t help the nagging feeling in my chest. A tiny voice screamed over and over again that maybe, the hatred in his words didn’t belong entirely to him.

“Why do you hate them so much?” I asked quietly. “The merfolk?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” he scoffed.

Frowning, I shook my head. “Unless someone told you before we visited about how your aunt traps sailors, or unless there’s some other evil thing they do that I was never taught in school, you should have no reason to dislike them as much as you do.” Even Ikelos, with all his faults, clearly never disliked the merfolk this much. He did marry one, after all—

Gasping softly, I paused. “This is all about your mother, isn’t it?” I blurted, as the quiver in his jaw gave him away. “That’s why you were crying on the balcony. They remind you of her?”

“They most certainly do not,” he tried to say, but it came out as more of a strained laugh. The pain on his face made my chest ache even more than my bruises.

“Will you tell me about her?” I asked gently.

When he didn’t reply, I leaned forward to take his hand. “You don’t have to share anything with me, but it might help me understand. And if I understand, I can help you.”

His stormy gaze flicked up to me. Heartbeats of silence passed between us, and I was moments away from dropping his hand to forget all this and make us some tea when he finally spoke in a dry voice. “I loved her.”

My eyebrows lifted.

“Even after everything she did to me, I still loved her,” he continued, his eyes turning glassy. “Of course, it was easier to forgive her outbursts when everyone around me insisted she was just sick… that she’d ‘get better’ one day and go back to being how a mother, how a queen, should be.” He tensed his jaw. “Or at least her illness would settle enough to spare an ounce of affection to her husband and only son. Though I stopped believing that lie on the day of my tenth birthday,” the emotion in his voice faded, “when she told me that if I began to look any more like my father, she would slit my throat while I slept.”

My stomach dropped through the floor. “Ancients, Lukas. I’m so sorry,” I whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” He frowned. “I’m just relieved she chose to stay with the faeries after my father died. I hope she finds more peace there than she did at the Steel Palace. It seemed like she and Amabel were good friends.”

Sadness tugged at my lips. He still cared, even now. “And visiting the merfolk made you think of her?” I thought out loud.

He huffed out another strained laugh, shaking his head. “I think deep down, a part of me always knew she was merfolk. And I knew I’d somehow inherited that too, or at least that I wasn’t fully human. But for some reason, I kept thinking the more human I convinced myself I was, the more she might want to accept me.” His eyes flared. “Not that convincing myself ever changed the way she looked at me.”

I stroked my fingers along the back of his hand. “You know you don’t have to hide yourself anymore.”

Pulling his arm away, he scowled. “When I saw that woman , Queen Vearla, talking to her daughter in that way – the one with the orange hair, Olesha.” He swallowed. “It was like I couldn’t breathe. She was so… kind. Even her, a woman evil enough to trap unwilling men in her palace, she still had so much love for her child. It made me wonder what it was that I did as a boy to earn my mother’s hatred.”

“You did nothing.” I drew closer to him. “Do not blame any of Erissa’s cruel actions on yourself. You were a child.”

Frowning, he shook his head. But before I could say anymore, he cleared his throat and changed the subject. “This is all in the past anyway. My past,” he said plainly. “There are far more pressing matters for us to worry ourselves with now, like these.” His attention shifted to the bruises on my face as his fingers cupped my jaw. “Now, will you please tell me how to apply this paste?” A faint smile pulled at his lips.

I wanted to ask him more questions. He’d never opened up like this before, and I wasn’t sure when he’d do it again. But the pain on my face was almost unbearable, and if I wasn’t treated soon, I’d still be puffy by the time we left for Drothmore. So, with a slow nod, I guided him through the application.

After he worked in the paste and successfully managed to grind up the right leaves to mix in with my tea to help with the pain – albeit a little clumsily – Lukas slipped into bed beside me while I rested. My eyes were closed, but I couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts raced through my exhausted mind.

“I’m going to find a way to fix all this,” he promised quietly.

My eyelashes fluttered open as I peeked at him through the bedsheets. “What do you mean?”

He looked startled. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” I laughed, but it came out as more of a croak. “I probably won’t sleep anyway.” Too many thoughts. Too much pain.

Lukas winced, sighing into the bedsheets. “I was talking about Arenn,” he growled. “I’m going to sever your connection to that faery prince somehow. Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. I don’t care if it kills me.” My heart seized. “I’m going to rid you of that foul creature. I promise.”

“Please don’t say that,” I whispered, gripping my blanket.

Lukas’s face twisted. “You don’t want him gone?”

“No, no, I do. There’s nothing I want more in the world than to have my wrist free of those crystals but—” My throat felt sticky. “I won’t have you risk your life. It’s not fair to you.” Agreeing to marry Arenn was my mistake, and if anyone was going to die to fix it, it should be me. Then again, knowing Arenn, he’d probably follow me into the afterlife.

“I spent all day and last night in the library,” Lukas continued, settling back into the pillows. “I couldn’t find any mention of breaking the bond, only what it’s doing to you.” His jaw tensed. “I can’t bear the thought of him toying with your mind, your emotions. Do you really feel his presence if he’s nearby?”

I nodded, and a frustrated growl rumbled through him.

“It’s alright though,” I sighed. “Dealing with Arenn is an annoyance, but nothing more. He’s harmless, really.”

Lukas scowled. “He made me hurt you today. That’s not harmless.”

Wincing, I mumbled, “I suppose so.” Even still, the pain I felt now couldn’t justify Lukas putting himself at risk. Nothing could. And I doubted Arenn would do this again. If I was hurting, so was he.

“How about this,” I offered, pulling the blanket close to my chest. “We’re leaving in a week, aren’t we?”

Lukas nodded. “You’ve a few days to finish any dealings with the other rulers in regards to Corlixir, then there’s the Oceans Ball, and then we leave,” he confirmed, exhaling as if he couldn’t wait to get out of here.

I couldn’t either. Smiling, I wondered if we’d still share a bed when we returned to Drothmore—

Stop . Focus, Naria .

Swallowing down my smile, I replied, “Then give me until the ball to figure out how to break the prince’s curse and fix this mess with Arenn. If I’m still bound to him by the time we leave, then the moment we return home, I will have no objection to you continuing your research.”

My suggestion was met with a wary look. “But there’s no books on faeries in Drothmore. My father had them all burned.”

I laughed quietly, recalling the hidden magical library I’d stumbled upon months ago while searching for a new suitor – technically, the place that started this all. “Both Raena and I would tell you otherwise,” I chuckled.

When Lukas narrowed his eyes again, I continued with a sigh. “Just please. Let me have this time to fix this. I know I can find a way, and I’ll help Raphael too.”

A moment passed as Lukas’s lips thinned. “Fine,” he said finally. “But don’t think I want to stop you helping Raphael. If you can’t find a way to help him in time, I’ll speak with Cora to see about your Corlixin friends remaining here until he’s better, or at least until…” He trailed off, clearing his throat. “Let’s not go there. I’ll see to it that they’re given the best accommodations and everything they might need to help Raphael.”

Apart from the shell we could use to contact the merfolk , I wanted to say, but I didn’t interrupt him. Maybe there would be some other way to help Prince Raphael. I seriously hoped there was.

“I’d offer for you to stay with them here.” His voice wavered. “But I won’t leave you all the time you’re still connected to that beast.” His tone turned venomous as his hand found mine. “I won’t let him take you away from me, Naria. I swear it upon my entire kingdom.”

Then he pulled me towards his chest and kissed me softly, my eyes fluttering closed.

“I know you won’t,” I breathed against his lips. “Just give me this week. One week, and then we’ll both be free.”

“One week,” he repeated before kissing me again. And this time, he didn’t stop until we both fell asleep cradled in each other’s arms.