Page 10

TEN

Ashley

Whiplash—that’s what it’d felt like, I decided. Too keyed up to go back to sleep, I read for a while before I called it a night. It was hard to concentrate as my mind kept straying back to the dream. When clearly, I’d been there for hours, it was only moments, here. How did that work? Dreams were funny things.

The man, Samuel, had an excellent point though—why wasn’t I making the most of my life? I should be doing what I wanted. If Micha was going to take things further—which I highly doubted at this point—he would’ve done so already. Obviously, I was still alive and kicking. Or punching and kissing, if I included my reaction to Micha’s caveman ways.

The phone rang and rang but finally, Della picked up.

“What time is it there? Why are you up? Are you okay?” My best friend’s questions tumbled one over the other, giving me no chance to answer.

When I got my chance, I yelled at her, “What the hell Della, why don’t you ever answer your phone? I’m dying over here.”

“What do you mean? What happened?”

I huffed out a breath. “Micha, that’s what happened.”

“What did he do?”

“You knew he was a jerk to me, remember? He’s labeled ‘asshole’ in my phone.”

“Okay? So, what happened? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” Della said, softly.

Where did I start? The wisdom in telling her everything was questionable, considering who she was with. “He’s very demanding,” I muttered.

She laughed. “Not surprised, Josiah is too. Take some vacation days or something, I can get Josiah to approve it if he won’t.”

An idea struck me. My hand started shaking as my nerves went haywire. Della’s position protected me; Micha couldn’t do a thing about it.

No sooner had the thought settled than I shook my head. I was being crazy. Neither of the men would do anything to actually injure me or cause any lasting damage. They headed up a huge, successful company; they wouldn’t risk it. I was acting like they were serial killers or movie villains or something.

Sure, Micha was a piece of shit and treated me like crap but even if I brought the police in, I couldn’t say I hadn’t enjoyed being forced to suck his dick or being ravished in his bathroom. What that said about me, I didn’t want to examine too deeply. I would’ve done it even if he hadn’t shoved me under his desk.

A wave of embarrassment washed over me and I took a deep breath. It’d take a team of psychologists to figure out why I was terrified of him and yet still longed for his touch. I had some sick fascination with the man I didn’t understand. I loved the way he looked at me, as if I were the only thing to exist in the universe—even if I was the one thing he hated the most. His focus was all-consuming and passionate. No one had ever paid me that much attention, made me the center of their universe.

“Can I talk to Josiah about it? Is he there?” Even if Micha wouldn’t really hurt me, I had to go. I couldn’t take the pressure or the stress. It wasn’t healthy and would end badly.

Della sighed. “He’s right here, hang on.”

Muffled voices came though the connection making me think Della covered the microphone before handing it off.

“Ashley,” Josiah greeted me, his tone guarded.

“Hi Josiah, thank you for speaking with me.”

“You’re welcome. What is your request?”

He was so formal it was intimidating. “Um, I’m having some personal problems at work, and I’d like to turn in my resignation.”

He laughed, low and dark before replying, “May I suggest you reread your employment agreement?”

“I’ve read it, and I know I broke a few rules. I just can’t handle the job anymore, it's too much for me.” Uncertain how much he knew about recent events; I didn’t want to give away anything I didn’t have to.

“Ashley, there is no resignation from Ipomoea for you considering certain liberties you’ve taken. The only reason you’re still breathing is Micha’s temporary mercy toward you. The only way out, in your shoes, is termination.”

I gasped, and my vision narrowed, my blood pressure climbing to what had to have been dangerous levels. “I...I...” Stammering, I lowered the phone from my ear while trying to draw in oxygen.

“You stole from me, Ashley,” his voice rumbled through the phone low and deadly. “You do understand the consequences of your actions, don’t you?”

“Don’t listen to him!” I heard Della yell in the background, furious. Static sounded in my ear and then a thump, a scratching noise, and next I heard muffled arguing.

“She’s my best friend,” I heard Della screech. A voice I didn’t recognize muttered something I couldn’t pick out in the background and then all the noise stopped making me think I’d been hung up on.

I was so fucked .

I’d really done it. I’d ruined my life with one impulsive decision and now it was over. Nothing had been stolen; how could I steal when I had no idea someone even left those pills there? Ipomoea’s scorched earth policy was too extreme.

Every second I remained on this earth was at the whim of these two tyrants and there was no way I could make it up to them. Josiah had literally threatened my life moments ago over a nonevent. I hadn’t even made it out of the room with the pills so how was this fair?

Possible intent —the annoying voice of reason in the back of my head reminded me. I was being punished for what something merely looked like.

Della’s voice sounded over the line. “Ashley? You still there?”

“Yeah.” The pathetic acknowledgment was all I could get out as I sat there in a daze.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I didn’t know. Josiah never bothered to fill me in.” Bitterness colored her voice. “Things will be weird for you for a little bit, just go with it. Trust me on this,” she quickly whispered, like she knew something I didn’t.

Several seconds passed and again, I thought I’d been hung up until Josiah’s voice filled my ear. “Whatever you two are planning, just know it won’t work.”

I had no clue what he was talking about. “Okay.” My brain felt like a lead balloon, and I laid down, unable to remain upright a moment longer.

“I hope you fully appreciate the friend you have in my wife. In respect for that relationship, I will allow you to switch to part time employment.” His voice filled with warning, “Do keep in mind there is no exit given you other than that by Micha’s hand.”

Uncertain whether I should cry or express enthusiastic gratitude, I only said, “Thanks.”

“My wife and I have a wedding to attend, I’ll pass along the pleasantries for you.”

Josiah hung up and I let my device slide down to the bed. Who was he going to pass along “pleasantries” to for me? I groaned out loud. Everything was much too strange for me lately.

My sleep was fitful once I finally dozed off, and rife with nightmares. I dreamed Micha and Josiah took turns biting me and chewing on clumps of my flesh, blood dripping down their faces, with Della laughing in the background while a servant fed her grapes.

I dreamed of Samuel chasing me through the woods, my legs seemingly moving through quicksand while crows dove and pecked at me, flying off with chunks of my hair clasped in their beaks. The orange fog in the sky turned crimson before raining down and coating my skin red in perfect, tiny droplets.

Sweating, I rolled over and hopped out of bed, rapidly heading to the bathroom to shower and hopefully rid my head of the terrifying images.

The familiar scent of my bodywashes and lotions helped soothe and I carefully conditioned my curls before diffusing them dry. My hair looked better than usual, shinier even, after Micha had treated them so gently. He’d done a better job with my hair than me.

Scowling, I unplugged the machine and threw it under the cabinet.

I sent a message to the group chat on my phone between me, Karissa, Andy, and Mike, inviting everyone to Central Park. I wasn’t going to wait to do what I wanted. I knew it was short-lived, this freedom I felt, but I was going to make the most of it, including coming clean to Karissa.

There’d be no open chapters going with me to my grave. A mental health expert, I wasn’t, but I knew my nightmares were an acknowledgment of my possibly artificially cut short life. I’d have to come to terms with it and live the last minutes as fully as I could.

It could take months, or it could be minutes—I didn’t know and I sure as hell wasn’t going to give Micha any more power than he already had over me by asking.

While I didn’t truly believe he would be able to go through with “terminating” me, I did not feel as confident about Josiah, not after what he’d said to me on the phone. All I could do was try to get on with my life.

After I ate breakfast, Andy stumbled out of his room, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before opening the fridge and grabbing a beer. “Really?” I asked.

He laughed. “Yeah, I’m in the mood.”

“Did you see my text?” Clearly, he wasn’t ready for Central Park.

He grunted. “No.”

I watched him chug down half the bottle. “Oh my God you’re going to turn into an alcoholic, stop that. We’re going to the park.” I dropped my empty cereal bowl into the sink. “I texted Mike and Karissa, too.”

My cellphone chimed on cue with notifications from them. “They’re meeting us there.”

“What’s gotten into you?” He asked, peeling a banana.

I winced at his disgusting breakfast combo. He was so gross sometimes. “I talked to Josiah.” Andy’s eyebrows shot up. “I’m switching to part time; I can’t handle the stress.”

“What’d he say about you supposedly trying to take the pills? Does he know?”

Nodding, I said, “Yep, he knows. They think I was trying to steal.” My hands started shaking a little bit.

“How is it your fault someone else screwed up?” He tilted his head. “This is weird.”

“You’re telling me—if I’d known this place was like that, I never would’ve signed up. Move outta the way.” He was blocking the fridge where my orange juice was.

“So, I’m making some changes,” I continued. “I’ll find something else to make up for the lost income and if they finally do let me resign, maybe the other place’ll take me fulltime.”

Andy closed the refrigerator door for me. “You asked to resign? I’ve heard they don’t do that unless you’re one of the lower minions. You’re on an upper floor already.”

“Yeah, Josiah said as much. I talked to Della, too, so I think that’s why they let me go part time.” I laughed. “You should’ve heard her; she was in the background yelling at him.”

“Good for her.” His voice took on a serious note. “Be careful, I don’t want anything happening to you.”

* * *

The park was perfect. Filled with food carts, street performers, artists with standing easels painting the bridges and gardens, families hanging out and strolling with their kids—it was exactly what I needed. We were on the edge of summer, and everyone was more than happy for warmer weather after the harsh cold.

Tiny green buds lined the edges of the trees, ready to transform into lush green leaves once winter flipped to full-on spring. Robins were scattered about, pecking at the defrosting dirt and freshly sprouting grass. This was my favorite time of year, when everything renewed and came alive, and I savored the atmosphere as we walked.

We stopped at a food truck, and afterward a cart where Andy grabbed a couple greasy, messy hotdogs loaded with sauerkraut. We walked for a while before settling on a spot near one of the ponds and gathered at a picnic table. The scent of pine was strong and the noise of the traffic slightly muffled.

“I love it here,” Karissa said. “It's almost as if we were in another world.”

Mike pointed to the fir trees behind us. “You know some woman was raped back there by the swing set last week, right?”

Karissa glared at him. “Can we not? I'm trying to enjoy myself.”

“Here,” Andy said, thrusting a dripping hotdog under my nose. I was resting my elbows on the table, chin in hand and nearly swatted him away.

“Thanks.” After crunching into a mouthful of vinegar and grease, I snagged some napkins from the pile Karissa had placed on the table. I turned to Mike after I swallowed. “Where’s Ike?”

Mike checked his phone. “On his way.” He looked at Karissa. “I still think you should let him design your dress.”

The girl’s cheeks turned pink. “I don’t know,” she mumbled.

“Wait—he’s a designer?” I asked.

“That, he is. Brilliant, too. He’s getting a lot of attention. If Karissa here wears one of his designs, it’d be perfect.”

Sometimes I forgot her family had their pictures taken regularly. “What's this for?"

“Some award ceremony,” Mike answered. C'mon girl, you know you want to," he begged Karissa.

“Your peer pressure won’t work on me,” she retorted. Her smile told me it, in fact, would and I couldn’t help but grin.

She really was the sweetest girl, and I couldn’t help the guilt that welled up once again in my chest over what I’d inadvertently done to her. I cleared my throat and wiped my hands on a couple napkins, straightening my back. “So, I need to tell you guys about something that happened.”

“Ashley, don’t,” Andy interfered, his voice low. “It's not your fault.”

Mike’s curious gaze met mine and Karissa followed, her eyes wide and bright, sinking the knife in for the kill.

“But I do, it's the right thing to do.” My heart pounded, knowing I was risking good friendships. Father Time wasn’t waiting for me though, and if I was going to die with a clear conscience, I needed to know I did the right thing.

Placing my palms on the table, I studied the grain in the wood. “Karissa, it was me. I found your key card. I’m sorry.”

“What the fuck?” Mike hissed. “How did you do that?”

“Ashley,” Andy groaned.

Karissa stared at me, bewildered. “What?”

Where should I start? How to explain why I’d lost my mind and screwed up so bad felt impossible. I really didn’t have a good explanation. How was I supposed to explain I’d never meant to take her key card and that I was the idiot who’d left my photo shoot stuff downstairs and grabbed the wrong things? It was all my fault because I’d made an irresponsible mistake at the most tyrannical company anyone ever heard of.

“I’m a total asshole and I don’t have a good excuse. I’ve been stressed out over work things and forgot my stuff downstairs and grabbed the wrong things. I’m truly sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

Mike spoke up. “I don’t care how much stress you go through—you don’t screw with people’s jobs. If you were a guy, I’d punch you for doing that to her.”

“Come on, man, you don’t have to threaten her,” Andy defended me. “It was an honest mistake.”

“No, he’s right. It was stupid. I know how they are there,” I said quietly.

“But you don’t. They don’t know what you go through, and Mike is being a dick.”

“And you do know?” I shook my head. “None of you know.”

Karissa sighed. “Let’s not ruin this nice day, please?”

We all looked to her and she bit her lip, her eyes darting under our perusal. “It's messed up this all happened, but they would’ve fired me if anyway. It wasn’t supposed to be left there. So, it's not that big of a deal. Mike, you’re acting like?—”

“She made you lose your job,” he interrupted.

“A job I didn’t even want,” she snapped. “She did me a favor. I would’ve just stayed there the rest of my life and I didn’t even like that job.”

“That’s not the point.”

“Guys, I learned my lesson, okay?” I took a breath and met Mike’s glare. “I talked to Josiah; he’s letting me step down to part time.”

Karissa’s eyebrows shot up. "Wow, that's unexpected. See? If it's okay with him, it's not that big of a deal."

Mike huffed and chucked his sandwich down on his paper plate. “Whatever,” he grumbled.

“Bro, calm down,” Andy said.

“I really am sorry. I don’t know what else to say,” I quietly apologized.

Karissa reached across the table for my hand and my eyes smarted. The girl was way too kind for this planet and Mike was being a total dick. “It's over don’t worry about it. You did the right thing by telling me and I appreciate your honesty. The guys are being stupid and Ipomoea sucks. Let it go.”

“Thank you,” I replied, my voice catching in my throat.

She patted my hand as Mike glared at me but some of the tension was broken when Mike, or Ike as we’d started referring to him as, showed up.

The man sauntered over, as attractive as I expected, although perhaps slightly younger. He had shaggy light brown hair that dangled in front of sky-blue eyes and wore a long coat that flapped behind him as he walked, the tone nearly matching that of his curls.

Vaguely, I listened while Mike tried to convince Karissa to allow the man to design a gown for her, my thoughts still weighing heavy. The tension had mostly lifted upon Ike’s arrival, but my confession still dangled in the air. I felt separated, cut off from my friend group, an observer on the outside, looking in.

In retrospect, I probably shouldn’t have said anything and now I wasn’t sure why I had. It was probably a guilt complex held over from my efforts to live a more honest life than I had in my youth.

They were all talking, catching up, while I sat there quietly, fiddling with the remnants of my hotdog roll. “Guys, I’m going to go over to the water.”

No one heard me.