Page 30 of Of Blackened Blood (The Blackened Blade #3)

MICAI

I make my way onto the training ground after having said my goodbyes to Ezra at the cafeteria. We had lunch together with Annex and Mallyn before I headed here for Defence class, promising to meet up afterward and head into town.

I take a deep breath in while rolling out my shoulders and head onto the large field.

This class was just what I need to de-stress after having my little “reunion” with Seria earlier. Hopefully we’ll do some kind of heavy obstacle course or maybe some sparring. Something that would have me focusing completely on the task at hand and make my muscles ache in the best way possible.

I make my way toward Gadriel who’s handing out long, wooden spears to the students who’ve arrived early. He gives me a small grin as he hands me mine and a little flutter starts in my chest with the look. Like he was genuinely happy to see me.

I push the thought away as I grip the spear in my hands, giving it a small twirl before catching Gadriel’s gaze again.

If I’m lucky, maybe there will be an odd number of students in the class, and I can pair with Gadriel instead of one of these morons.

He would be a much better sparring partner than any of these asses.

A sigh leaves my lips, and I glance around the space as it quickly begins to fill with familiar annoying faces. I guess lady luck never really smiles my way.

And it seems today she decided to disappear completely.

I stare on as Knox, of all people, steps forward and begins heading my way, his gaze flickering back and forth from me to the ground as he grows closer.

I’m sure my narrowed eyes and the scowl pulling at my features tells him it’s a bad idea, but he still takes the space beside me anyway.

A nervous smile pulls at his lips as the class begins and he meets my gaze.

I let out a small sigh before gripping my spear. I guess kicking his ass could help lift my mood a little. Especially since he’s willingly volunteered for it.

We both take our stance before beginning to circle around each other, my eyes watching for any weakness of his as I twirl my spear in one hand.

“Micai ... I know a lot has happened—” he begins, but I cut him off.

“I don’t really care anymore, Knox.” I watch his weak footwork and how his defence has multiple holes. He’s nothing like Gadriel or the guys.

“I’m pretty sure I already made that crystal clear to all of you.” I stop mid-twirl and aim my spear out toward Knox, adding a little strength to the hit.

He blocks the move with his own wooden spear, his hands shaking under the force as his eyes widen.

“I’m not talking for any of the others ...” His gaze flicks in their direction as he continues to struggle under my strength of my attack.

Kane and Anders are paired together, and Xander is paired with someone else from the class. Xander turns to stare daggers my way, his gaze flitting between me and Knox and narrowing before quickly turning back toward his partner.

“Had a little argument, did we?” I mock, rolling my eyes as I pull back and we begin to circle each other again. “But I don’t care about your little boys’ tiff.”

Knox sighs, a slight look of desperation pulling at his features as he watches me before it falls into something conflicted.

“I won’t ask for forgiveness. I know I don’t deserve it after all the choices I’ve made and the promises I’ve broken, Micai.”

His words have me stopping in my tracks, gripping the wooden spear a little tighter as small cracks form.

Is he serious? Or is this some kind of ruse set up by Seria and them?

His brown eyes meet my suspicious gaze as his shoulders drop and he continues.

“I know that I tore all of our happy memories up and tainted them with how I treated you ... abandoned you when you needed me.” His brows pinch downward, a frown pulling at his lips.

“And that asking for forgiveness or trying to give you some excuse for it all would just be selfish.” He drags a trembling hand down the back of his neck and glances my way before quickly turning his gaze to the ground.

“I can’t undo what’s been done to you. I can’t fix it.

” A shaky sigh falls from his lips as his eyes finally meet mine.

“But I need you to know how sorry I am. I couldn’t see what was happening before, almost as if my mind wouldn’t let me.

” He shakes his head. “But now ... it’s like a fog has finally been lifted, like I can finally see what’s in front of me.

And I was wrong. It was all wrong.” His voice cracks, his emotions pouring out in every feature of his.

My brows furrow with his words, and I begin our circling again, noticing people staring at us. He joins me, his voice falling lower as he continues.

“All I could see before was the good in Seria ... and the bad in you.” He shakes his head again, his brows drawing deeper downward.

“No matter how much I looked at you, I couldn’t properly see the you I knew before.

It’s like the memories I had of us in the past were blocked or locked away and I couldn’t see straight.

” His shoulders sag, as if all the energy was seeping from him with each new word leaving his lips.

“My mistakes are my own, Micai. I know that, but I just ...” His voice cracks again, his eyes dropping to the ground as he tries to compose himself.

“Everything is so much clearer now, more than it has been in years.” He takes a deep, steady breath before letting it loose.

“But it feels like I’m suffocating with the memories of the choices I’ve made.

Every one of them was wrong . They were my own but .

.. it’s like they were tainted and not fully mine .

.. like something was twisted inside me.

” He drags a shaky hand down his face before he closes his eyes and takes another breath.

“I can’t make sense of it all. It’s too murky.

And I don’t understand how I came to be like that.

” His eyes open and his gaze finds me, something steadier in his expression as a firmer and surer look takes over his eyes.

“I’ve been looking for answers for it all but can’t make full sense of it.

And when I was going crazy, trying to clutch on to some part of my life that I knew was real, something important and true .

.. the one thing that kept coming back to me is you, Micai. I need your help.”

My whole body freezes as I gaze at Knox and the sincerity in his eyes.

He was serious ... he had somehow broken free of Seria’s little charms.

My brows cinch together with the thought.

I thought it was all them. That it was their choice to be with her and cast me aside, treating me like dirt. But what if it wasn’t?

Looking at Knox now and listening to him ... maybe it wasn’t entirely them. Had she been using some sort of spell or strange power on them?

But I didn’t know of any that could control shifters or warlocks like that and have never sensed anything around them before. That kind of magic would be taboo and outlawed to use in the community anyway.

But the bracelet had that weird metal that no one knew about too, so I guess it’s possible.

My eyes widen. Had it had something to do with the bracelet and me no longer wearing it? And the fact that she wasn’t able to rob my power anymore?

Had it loosened whatever pull she had on them?

My eyes meet Knox’s again, his eyes much clearer and steadier than before as I remember his last words.

A small sigh escapes my lips. Had he made these declarations in my previous life, the old me would have cried, probably even jumped into his arms and welcomed him wholeheartedly.

And although a part of me is saddened by everything he’s said, knowing it’s connected to Seria and whatever scheme and power she’s been using . .. the me of now can’t go back.

I’m not the same girl I was before. I’ve been forged from the pain and betrayal of my past and have become someone new. Someone stronger.

The weak and na?ve girl Knox knew and had to protect back then died with my previous life. He doesn’t know the Micai that’s standing in front of him.

And I also don’t feel any special connection to him now. It’s long since faded, even before I died in my previous life.

All I see and want now are Annex, Ezra, and Mallyn. They’ve shown me what true love is. What a real family and home can feel like. And I know, with every fibre of my being, that they’ll always have my back and be there for me, no matter what comes our way. Even if that happens to be Seria.

What I had with Knox and them before was a young love and a na?ve hope. One that withered with too much pain and betrayal. It was a love that faded as quickly as it came.

But not with Annex, Ezra, and Mallyn. What I have with them is real and soul-deep. I can see an endless future before us.

A small frown coats my lips as I watch Knox, unsure of what to say to him in his vulnerable state.

Knox must feel my hesitancy to reply as an anxious look takes over his face. He reaches for me but stops, pulling his outstretched hand back, his eyes almost pleading with me as his lips part again.

“I know my place. Don’t worry. But I need help, Micai.

And right now ...” Knox glances back toward Xander, Kane, and Anders who are all now staring our way before he turns back toward me, his voice drawn lower.

“You’re the only one I feel I can trust. They don’t feel the same as I do.

Even though I can see a slight change in Anders and Kane.

They still want to clutch on to whatever fake feelings are there.

” His gaze softens as his voice falls to a whisper.

“... Because otherwise they would have to face the reality of what we’ve all done to you.

” His brows scrunch together as his hands wrap tightly around the spear he’s holding on to.