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I stare at the small black card, the sleek surface glinting under the fluorescent lights of my office. It’s just before lunch, but the only hunger I can think about is the one that’s gone unsated for far too long. I haven’t come with someone else in months. I’m tired of the shitty one-night stands where I have to fake it just to save my date’s ego. No. I need something more. Something exciting. Something substantial.

I flip the card over, the single email address staring back at me, simple and unassuming: [email protected] I input it into the blank email I’ve already pulled up on my screen. What do I put on the subject line? My fingers hover over the keys, hesitation gripping me. I chew on my lip, suddenly losing the nerve to go through with this. After typing and deleting a few times, I finally settle on:

Seeking Services.

I take a deep breath and click into the body of the email. Now what? My fingers tap nervously on the keyboard as I try to form the right words. Finally, I type:

A friend suggested you to me. I’m seeking an experience…

I pause, reading the line over, wondering if it sounds too vague or too desperate. But what else is there to say? I sign off with my name before stopping. Should I be putting my full name? My email address is random, a nickname I had as a kid mixed with my birthday. It’s not like they can track me down from it. Still, something in me hesitates. I delete my name and instead sign off the email with a simple: Red.

I sit back, staring at the screen, my heart pounding. The cursor blinks, waiting for me to make a move. All I have to do is hit send. But that one little action feels like stepping off a ledge into the unknown.

With a final, steadying breath, I close my eyes and press Send .

After picking at my lunch, appetite lost in a swirl of nerves and anticipation, I take a seat back at my desk. My eyes catch on the screen, and my heart skips a beat as I notice a reply from Blade sitting in my inbox. Just as I’m about to click it open, Nick saunters up to my desk, his presence like an unwelcome cloud. I sigh, glancing up at him, my irritation barely masked. “Can I help you with something?”

Nick’s gaze drops to my screen, and I see his jaw tighten. “Personal email, huh? Guess work’s not keeping you too busy.”

I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “It’s my lunch break, Nick.”

He crosses his arms, leaning in slightly. “Funny, you seemed pretty distracted last night, too. Can’t imagine why. ”

I meet his stare, my patience wearing thin. “What do you want, Nick?”

He smirks, but there’s no warmth behind it. “Just checking to see if you’re done playing games. You know, some of us don’t appreciate getting jerked around.”

I feel the anger flare, but I keep my voice even. “I’m not playing games. If that’s how you see it, maybe you should move on.”

His eyes narrow, and for a moment, it looks like he’s going to say something more. But he just shakes his head. “Whatever. Your loss.”

“Yeah, sure,” I mutter as he turns and walks away.

The second he’s gone, I exhale slowly, shaking off the irritation. My focus returns to the screen, where the email from Blade waits for me. I click it open, pushing all thoughts of Nick out of my mind, ready for something real.

My heart races as I take in Blade’s email, the words blurring slightly as my mind races to process them.

Red? Cute. “Seeking an experience?”

I’m sorry, but I’m going to need more than that if I am to help you.

I bite down on my lip, tension coiling in my chest as I stare at the message. He’s right—he needs more. But the truth is, I don’t actually know what I want. Not really. That’s the problem, isn’t it? I’m so used to feeling unsatisfied that I’ve forgotten what real satisfaction even looks like.