Page 9 of Obsessively Yours (Fae Kings of Eden #2)
9
Roman sat across from Vivian in one of his mother’s ostentatious drawing rooms. Paintings of his ancestors lined the walls, separated by large golden sconces. Rugs with busy patterns of rich reds and golds covered every inch of the floor and contrasted with the bright colors of the chairs and settees littered around the room.
Roman knew he looked haggard. His hair was a mess, accompanied by dark circles from lack of sleep, and his anger still simmered under his skin like a living entity.
He hadn’t spoken to Violet since the attack a week ago, and he wanted to rip the Maekins’ cottage to shreds until he stood in her room. Meri and Edgar kept her out of school and wouldn’t let him in to see her. He’d tried to pull rank, but Edgar wouldn’t budge, saying she needed her rest.
Roman couldn’t take it, and he’d resorted to glamouring himself invisible to slip inside their cottage. His girl looked as haunted as he felt. Violet’s ashen skin resembled death, and her vacant eyes stared at her bedroom wall. Seeing her like that broke something inside him, destroyed it so thoroughly that he’d never be the same.
“Why was Violet in your rooms the day of the attack?” Vivian demanded, bringing him back to the present with her curt tone.
Roman glared at the ground. An interrogation about the worst day of his life had him precariously close to throttling the contrite look off Vivian’s face. “She’d heard I was sick and brought me soup.” If he could go back, he would never have feigned ill, and this nightmare would have never happened.
Vivian lifted a skeptical brow. “You didn’t seem sick.” He decided not to answer, and she pinned him in place with her inscrutable gaze. “Your friendship with my sister needs to stop.”
The darkness Roman tried to keep at bay swelled, forcing him to restrain himself from telling her to go fuck herself. “Excuse me?”
Vivian’s face darkened to match Roman’s mood. “You heard exactly what I said. I’ve seen you two together at home, and it needs to stop.”
Roman threw his head back with an incredulous laugh, and Vivian jerked back. “You have no right to demand anything of me. Do you think I don’t know that you’re still seeing someone else?” He leaned forward and infused his words with venom. “Watch your fucking tone.”
She recoiled and backed away. “How dare you?”
“How dare me ?” His voice rose with every word. “I can feel your emotions, or did you forget? You have no right to ask me to give up a friendship when you are in a romantic relationship with someone else.”
“See whoever you want,” Vivian sneered. “I don’t care, but not her.” He stared at her. She was out of her fucking mind if she thought any amount of threatening would keep him from Violet. “The gods chose me,” she reminded him. “I won. I am who they blessed as your queen, not her.”
I won. Roman almost laughed in her face again at the audacity of it all. “A mate bond isn’t a prize to be won,” he snarled. “You don’t care about me, you only care about besting your sister. It’s pathetic.” Not wanting to be in her presence any longer than necessary, he stood to leave.
Had he not been able to feel Vivian’s love for another, guilt would insist he grant her request. He wouldn’t, but he’d feel bad about it. Violet meant everything to him. Vivian meant nothing.
Would Violet have loved another man if she’d been fated to Roman? The thought made him murderous. If she were his, he would kill anyone who stood between them, no matter the consequences.
Vivian stood silently, watching him leave, and he could feel her bitterness melding with his own. “We’re not married yet, and I’ll not take your happiness from you,” he said from the doorway. “Love whomever you want, but until we are married, n ever deign to dictate who I keep in my life. I am the future king, no matter what, but your only tie to the crown is through me.”
* * *
A week later, Roman cornered Griff during training. Violet’s best friend towered over most, but not him, and the boy had to tilt his head, his shoulders tense as if ready to flee. Griff’s rich russet skin sported a layer of sweat, and he squinted his black eyes against the afternoon sun.
“Is something wrong?” Griff’s voice cracked, as most boys’ did at their age.
Griff was an excellent fighter and rarely intimidated, but Roman didn’t miss the rigidness of his stance.
“Do you know when Violet is returning to school?” Roman inquired as cavalier as possible. He’d skipped class the day before and went to Violet’s house to check on her, only to find her gone.
Griff lifted a single brow. “She didn’t tell you? I thought you two were friends.”
Roman rolled his neck and reminded himself that beating the answer out of Griff would win him no favor with Violet. “I haven’t been able to speak to her since the rebel attack.” He pushed away the image of Violet clinging to War’s bloody neck.
“You haven’t been to see her?” Griff’s tone took on a hard edge.
“Where is she?” Roman ground out, losing all patience. He’d rather not speak to her with her entire family present, but if he couldn’t get her alone during the school day, he would have to.
Griff crossed his arms with a smug smirk. “She switched schools to the one in town. The one near the post building.”
Roman reared back. “What? Why?”
Glancing side to side, Griff lowered his voice. “If you tell anyone this, I’ll try to beat your ass,” he warned. “I know I’ll lose, but I’ll inflict as much damage as possible.” Despite wanting to pummel the guy, Roman admired and appreciated his protectiveness of Violet. “If someone finds out, they might tease her around the compound, and then I’ll have to fight them too.”
Roman’s jaw tightened. “I would never betray her.”
Griff’s sigh was sad and full of pity. “Since the attack, she refuses to set foot inside the palace.” He waited for Roman’s response, but all Roman did was stare back dumbly. Griff shrugged. “It reminds her of the attack.”
Roman would burn the palace to the ground when he took the throne if it would ease Violet’s fears. He hated that a horrific memory ruined a place containing some of his most coveted ones. “I won’t tell anyone,” he vowed. “What time does her new school let out?”
“They only go until one o’clock,” Griff replied. “They let out soon.”
Roman nodded and spun on his heel to leave, throwing a thanks over his shoulder.
Roman waited outside of the small school building on the western-most part of Saltu. Violet moving schools meant less time with her, but if the palace frightened her, he’d not try to convince her to come back.
He would ask his father if he could switch schools. Roman already knew the answer, but trying never hurt. Since the attack on the palace, his need to be around Violet had become an obsession born from a need to keep her safe. What little spare time he had, he spent glamoured invisible at Violet’s side. Having let her down once, he’d not do it again.
When the school bell rang, Roman stepped aside as the stream of students filed out of the building. He searched every face for his favorite freckles and blue eyes.
The sun glinted off a familiar head of silky auburn hair, and he couldn’t stop the relief and elation coursing through him. Releasing his glamour, he called out, “Violet!” ignoring the startled cries of those around him.
Violet turned at the sound of her name, and the content look on her face faded. Roman stalked forward, dread trickling through his veins. Seeing her face fill with regret made him want to knock everyone over to get to her faster.
“What’s wrong?” he asked roughly. Roman had never possessed patience.
Her delicate throat bobbed. “We need to talk.”
* * *
Dread settled low in Violet’s gut at what she had to do. Like a coward, she’d put off the conversation, but here Roman stood, staring at her, looking worse for wear.
Without a word, he tipped his head to the right and guided her through the other students. Slayton, one of her friends who attended her new school, caught her eye, silently asking if he needed to intervene. Violet subtly shook her head. The boy tipped his chin and left in the opposite direction.
Roman stared after Slayton with a murderous expression, and his hand on her lower back tightened around the fabric of her dress. “Are you dating him?” he asked through gritted teeth.
Violet peered up at him, hating how his jealousy made her feel. The way her heart preened only further solidified her decision. “We’re friends. He’s the only person I know at my new school.”
Roman’s hand and shoulders relaxed as he led her into the trees lining the road. The jungle and shore were her favorite places to be, and she didn’t want to taint her happy place with this memory, but no other place offered privacy from prying ears.
Roman guided her toward a large tree with a brilliant bright yellow trunk, large, flat pink and green leaves, and bright purple vines hanging loosely from the top. They sat down on two roots, facing each other, and he rested his elbows on his thighs.
“Why do I feel like you’re about to break my heart?” No anger tinged his words, only sad resignation, and Violet resisted throwing her arms around him.
She swallowed past the knot in her throat, praying she wouldn’t cry. “We can’t be friends anymore.”
He straightened, displaying every emotion Violet knew in rapid succession. “I don’t understand.”
This might be the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me, she thought, but if she didn’t tell the truth, he wouldn’t let her go. Taking a deep breath, she straightened her shoulders and met his questioning stare head on. How did one tell a friend they were inappropriately in love with them?
When Violet had first learned to climb trees, she’d been afraid of falling. Seeing the hard, unforgiving ground below had made anxiety ripple through her system and kept her from climbing high.
One day, she fell from a lower branch and cried the entire way home. Her father intercepted her, kissed her bruises, took her back to the forest, and encouraged her to try again. It took quite a bit of coaxing, but once she’d shakily scaled the tree to the lowest branch, he’d told her to jump.
“If you pay attention,” he explained. “You can jump before you fall to protect yourself on the way down.”
She’d always respected her father’s wisdom, and as always, he’d been right. Violet learned to predict when she needed to jump, even from one branch to another, to avoid falling.
Yet, somehow, she’d missed all the signs with Roman.
Violet had thought they were only friends, she really had, but apparently her heart missed the message; a dangerous thing when you’re up so high.
No one had explained the dangers of falling in love—infinitely more dangerous than falling from a tree. When you fall in love and the other person doesn’t catch you, you break more than a bone when hitting the ground. You break everything. Your heart. Your soul. Your confidence in yourself. It all just shatters .
They must call it falling because when it’s over, you can feel your heart fall to your feet right before it breaks against the hard truth.
Violet hadn’t a clue how to tell Roman how she felt, something her mind couldn’t differentiate from a life-or-death situation. Blood roared in her ears, and her heart tried to crack her ribcage as if personally offended by their existence. Better to just blurt it out before she passed out. “I’m in love with you.”
Roman’s nostrils flared and his chest heaved. He looked furious at her admission. Violet’s heart hit the ground. Hard . She’d known he didn’t return her feelings, yet a small part of her thought he might. No . It was better this way.
It wouldn’t matter, anyway. They’d still have to end their friendship. “Having to watch your relationship with Vivian develop will be too hard if I feel this way. I need to get past it if I’m going to be able to be around you two in the future.”
Roman jerked back. “Get past it? What does that mean?”
For being one of the smartest people Violet knew, the prince sure did have trouble grasping simple concepts. “It means I need to get over these feelings, and I can’t do that if you keep,” she searched for the right words, sputtering, “being you.”
She gasped when Roman shot to his feet. “No.”
Stunned, Violet leaned her head back to stare at him. “No?”
One step and he’d crossed the distance between them. One second and he’d dropped beside her. “No.”
“You can’t say no,” she argued with bewilderment. “It’s inappropriate for me to feel this way. It’s wrong .” Her lower lip tried to tremble, but she willed it to hold steady. “I’m a terrible person,” she whispered. “Who falls in love with their sister’s future husband?”
Roman stabbed a hand through his hair and tugged on the short strands. “You don’t get to decide for me if we stay friends or not,” he informed her with finality. “What about me? You can dispose of me that easily?”
Violet scoffed, her anger rising. “I am making this decision for me . Being in love with someone promised to my sister is wrong and devastating .”
She jumped to her feet, throwing up her hands and letting them fall. “You’re not listening. I love you, Roman. Giving you up will hurt more than anything I’ve experienced, but watching you fall in love with Vivian will destroy me. I need time to get over you before I’m subjected to that. Why can’t you understand? How can you ask this of me?” She swiped at her stupid tears, hating that she cried so easily.
He glared at her and maneuvered her around a large root until her back hit the tree. “Did it ever occur to you that I love you, too?”
His words sank in. No.
“Did you ever think of what losing you and watching you fall in love with someone else will do to me?” His strong arms caged her in on either side of her head. “You might get over me, but I won’t get over you. How can you ask that of me ?”
A pain like she’d never known enveloped her, weighing her down, like being buried under a pile of stone. Despair beat at her until there was nothing left. Roman was everything she’d ever wanted. Having him tell her he loved her too, knowing she could never have him, altered something inside her. If she thought unrequited love hurt, it had nothing on this.
He loved her, yet she would watch him fall out of love with her and in love with his mate. Nothing hurt more than knowing she had his heart but couldn’t keep it. Nothing .
Imagine starving, having foregone food for a week, then being presented with a juicy steak, only to have it yanked away after one bite. “You’re going to marry my sister,” she whispered. “Loving me doesn’t change that. She’s your mate . The gods made you for each other, and one day, you will love her and she’ll love you.” The muscle in his jaw flexed. “When that day comes, I want to be happy for you. I want you two to be happy, but in order to not taint that happiness with hurt and resentment, I need to move on.” She closed her eyes. “And so do you.”
Roman pressed his forehead to hers. If he kissed her, she wouldn’t have the strength to push him away. If he asked her to be his, she’d give in. Part of her wanted him to, and the other part screamed for him to let her go.
He pushed off the tree and stepped back. “I’ll give you anything you want, princess.” His voice held no emotion, but his eyes gave away his every thought. The hurt they held made her want to take everything back. “If space is what you want, space is what you’ll get.” He spun on his heel, and she swore she heard him whisper, “for now,” as he walked away.
Violet watched him leave and gave in to the sinking feeling pulling her down. There, on the forest floor, she released her anguish, crying until her throat grew raw. Everything in her dimmed, and she knew there was no bouncing back from this within a day or two.
Despite never wanting to speak of this again, Violet went home and told her mother part of the story, just not the who. She’d considered faking sick instead, but then they’d call a healer. Going with half-truths seemed to be the best option, and she could only pray her mother would understand.
Looking back on her conversation with Roman, she realized her foolishness in thinking she could ever get over him.
* * *
Roman pressed his forehead against the cool glass of Violet’s window as he strained to see against the afternoon glare. For a week he’d watched through her window as her beautiful complexion paled from staying inside and the light in her eyes dulled from grief. The same grief that held him prisoner.
Their souls were anchored to the ocean floor, weighed down by their confessions.
Roman had fought his every instinct to pull her into his arms when she’d sobbed on the ground after breaking his heart. The next day, when she stayed home from school, claiming illness, he’d skipped his own classes and sat outside her window.
Meri opened the curtains during the day to let in the light, allowing Roman to observe Violet. During the night, his access to her closed, and all he could do was listen to the sounds of her soft cries.
Accusing her of being able to give him up easily was cruel. The girl he watched day in and day out mirrored what he felt inside. His soul had fallen into a dark and lonely abyss, taking the joy out of everything he’d once cared about.
He didn’t need a bond to tell him Violet was his true mate. Every royal found their soulmate at thirteen years old, but Roman had found his at twelve, only to have her ripped away.
For two weeks he and Violet wallowed in their grief, as star-crossed lovers do. Meri finally coaxed Violet into attending school, and Roman vowed to break thousands of years of tradition to marry her at any cost.
Nothing would stop him from having her, not even the gods themselves.